Turning sixty in 2023 and I'm freaking out

[LifeIsBetterWithBunting]

I can't believe that I turn 60 later this year. I am really freaked out and can't stop thinking about it, as I don't feel anything like that age - I barely feel like a grown up some days!

My mum, who I was very close to, died last year (my dad a few years ago) and I think that's making me more aware of getting older and of dying. But I can't stop thinking that I've now lived most of my life, and who knows how many years I have left, or what is ahead of me. I fully know that it's pointless to think like that, but I can't seem to get it out of my head and genuinely feel scared of old age looming, and what might be ahead of me.

I still work, no sign of that ending anytime soon. Our two young adult DS are at home (thanks covid). But I have a lot to be grateful for. I have good health and don't look my age. So how do I change my mindset and cheer the fuck up?

This is so true. There needs to be a “not like the other pensioners” tag, like the not like the other girls”. Not taking a pop at you, OP. I am guilty of the same. I think it comes down to what pp said about “same person in older wrapping”. Because our inner voice doesn’t change, we find it hard to accept that our wrapping has and assume that it’s unique to us.

I'll be 60 early on in 2024 so only a little bit behind you. I'm planning to go interrailing for a few weeks around Europe. Didn't do it when I was young so figured it's 60 or never. It's going to involve a whole load of decisions (so many places I'd love to go and I can't do them all) but I will enjoy spending this year researching and planning it all which will make being 60 exciting rather than something to dread.

Can you plan to do something special/different which will make turning 60 exciting rather than something to dread?

I turned 60 in the summer and retired. DH also retired at the same time - he is 70 next year.

I think the words of @Squirrelsnut are beautiful and sum up my feelings perfectly.

Absolutely this! I lost a very close friend a while back and they would have done anything to live a few more years, months, or weeks. Even another day!

@Iwantacampervan I'm 62 and love my Senior railcard! Definitely one good thing about getting older! OP, I treat age as just a number. My DCs are young adults, like yours, although they don't live at home. I've made the most of being child free & camped at a festival on my own, visited them, other relatives & friends up & down the country & indulged other interests such as going to gigs, art galleries & places of historic interest in my free time. I have a loose plan for all I wish to achieve in my career before I retire. Embrace being a sexagenarian!

Don't speak too soon. The Tories are considering on raising the age for free prescription to align with retirement age.

Also of 1963 vintage

I will be turning 60 in less than one week! I've already applied for my 60+ Oyster card but I didn't realise that prescriptions would be free so that's another bonus. Won't be able to retire any time soon unfortunately but I'm doing ok and I'm pretty healthy so long may that continue!

100% this

Also of the same vintage.

I'm currently retraining for a new career, in which I will hopefully have seven years of being useful.

I'm looking forward to being able to go interrailing on the cheap again in 2024.

Thanks all, lots of great comments and perspectives. I'm in Scotland so free prescriptions for all here, but yaay to a bus pass!

You are so right with what you say, @antipodeancanary but I think what @Ban says about a sudden realisation that the time you have left feels very finite in a way that it never has before is exactly what suddenly hit me.

But I've given myself a good talking to, and am going to make a big effort to embrace my older wrapping. In fact I started this afternoon, ordering a fab pair of Doc Martens to kick ass my way into my 60th year. And im going to start a Junk Journal to brain dump and focus on positive thoughts and things. Thanks all, much appreciated.

I could have written almost the same OP last year. I lost my mum in 2020 & turned 60 last year. Dad died 16 years ago.

I spent some time worrying about the things I had never got around to doing. I always wanted to travel- the whole backpacking around Europe & America.
Boys stopped that.

I'm still healthy & active, but can't help thinking about the fact that there's more years behind me than in the future. I don't know why 60 has brought it into such sharp focus.

I have a teenage son at Uni & another in his 20's so I think they keep me with a younger mindset. I never think of myself as being old, I'm still 17 in my head!

I just turned 60 and will be working til 67. It honestly hadn't occurred to me that I could have free prescriptions! I think that's something that needs to be re-visited. I have a lot more money than my 20-something DC so why should I take out of that particular pot?

I am 50 this year and looking forward to being a sexy, shagging 60 year old, still dancing and still running up hills 😬

I want to be the sort of 60 year old I looked at when I was 30 and thought, ‘See her? I wanna be like her when I am 60!’

That’ll be me. Inspiring the younger generation 😁

Ah, I have found my 1963 tribe 🤣

I turn 60 in just over 2 months, have just been sat with DH & 2 young adult kids in an Italian saying that I don’t want to be 60!

But…

My close friend lost her husband suddenly last spring, both due to turn 60 at similar time to me.…except he never will. This has really put into perspective how suddenly life can change and how we must grab opportunities when we can.

I may only have 5 years left, but I may have 20 or 30. But surely it is the quality, not quantity that count. My mum died just after her 90th birthday but was fit and healthy until 88.5, walking regularly, holidaying abroad until mid eighties, having her grandchildren to stay to a similar age.

I have already taken early retirement, DH is a year younger and planning to work another year. I need to lose weight and get fitter, so those are my resolutions this year. I have been told our local leisure centres are cheaper after 60!

My DD is off travelling at the end of the month, and is expecting me to join her in Oz in the summer (we have tix for the Womens football WC). I have had a few “OMG I can’t fly that far alone” moments, then realised that I am lucky to be able to do it (both physically and financially).

I am also looking forward to cheaper train travel, and hope that the free prescriptions are around for a few more weeks (and that any changes are not retrospective).

Do you mind me asking what it is? I am looking around for something to retrain in.

I want to defy the odds & still be bungy jumping & surfing the ocean at age 90.

Ok, I don't actually bungy jump or surf, but I will go down fighting. Age is just a number.

I don't feel like the years have passed quickly, at all. Not blink of eye at all. Huge amount happened. I have memories of 45 years ago that feel like yesterday.

I'm not that far off and find myself wishing it to come sooner because it gives me more choices. Have to stop wishing my life away but, as a pp said, I don't feel I need to worry about redundancy any more. I still think about new things I could train for and find it odd that I'm seen as one of the experienced and "wise" people at work. But, yes, the "only 20 to 25 years left" is quite sobering. I don't have a bucket list of far off places to visit but do need to make plans for the more nearby places/modest wish list.

Also 1963 vintage here, and like others i think fuck it!

So many friends are no longer with us, which started happening in my 40s..

Yes i look like crap, working in my job hurts my joints and bones so badly, but we're still here and thats what counts more then anything aye?!

Anther '63 baby here. Planning to celebrate to the hilt and to stop being offended at being offered senior concessions 😂

My dad died when he was 60. I was 16 at the time and couldn't understand everyone saying how young he was. Now I understand of course. My mum died when I was in my 30s. I'm very aware of my mortality - especially as I couldn't have children so I kind of feel like it ends with me (likewise DH) which is a bit sad, so I'm doing my damnedest to make sure I'm remembered as the crazy aunt by all my lovely "niblings" (several of whom have booked to come on the "big birthday trip" which is really touching).

In the meantime, as trite as it sounds, I have learned to accept what I can't change and just enjoy everything.

Happy birthdays everyone!🎂 🥳 🍾

Im sorry to for your loss, that must have been hard.

I am also 60 this year and have started a challenge list which I am going to do along with the grown up kids, DH and friends, I like physical challenges so three peaks, walk Hadrians wall and a mini iron man are on the list. We are also planning to weekends away and a week with the kids and dogs.

I am now pretty excited about this year, maybe you can think of some lovely things to plan for the year rather than think about it as a one of day.

two weekends!

I'm way older than 60! and can tell you that my 60's were great times. I enjoyed my grandchildren in those early years and had a lot of fun with them. I did up the place I'm in now from top to bottom, replanted the whole gardens back and front and it's just how I want it.
The freedom that comes with not having any children at home, and retirement has been wonderful. I do what I want, when I want, with who I want, for as long as I want. I'm peaceful and settled, life's so interesting, so much to do.
There's nothing to fear, but I'd just say look after your health then you can enjoy the benefits.

@Kissedbyfire1 I have had 3 friends die in the last 4 years 41, 53 and 54. I had known one since I was 11, 19 and 39, I am now 56. It really changed how I felt but feel very grateful I am still here. The one that was 53 left two little girls aged only 10 and 12, my DS is 21 and that made me feel a sense of relief that he is already an adult.

I turned 60 last month and it is a time for reflection around the idea that most of life has passed. I am increasingly wondering how my health will be as I age as so far I have been blessed with good health. I didn't know about the free prescriptions but I don't think I have had one in about 30 years anyway. No bus passes these days until pension age sadly. I do find it depressing that I won't get to retire for another 7 years. My grandchildren will be pretty old by then and I am missing out a bit there. It is odd being one of the oldest people in the office.