Do you think the neighbours are talking?

[LittleDisaster]

And does it matter?

Inspired by another thread, but realising how interested neighbours may be in something that's none of their business got me wondering.

DH died fairly recently after a long illness. It was awful but I lost my husband a long time before he died and whilst it may sound awful, his death when it came was something of a relief. He'd been bed bound, I'd been changing his nappy and doing everything else for him for a really long time and he was in a lot of pain with no quality of life. Anyway, by the time he died, I was ready to live again after a fairly short interval.

I have a group of very supportive friends who have really made sure I've had lots to do, days and nights out and a few of weekends away. One of them is a single man who moved 40 mins away from our area a few months ago. For convenience we often meet at my house and sometimes he stays the night, in the spare room, so he doesn't have to drive. Sometimes when we've been away, if I'm driving, his car is here all weekend. Neighbours will also have seen me load my case into his car and seen him pick me up for days out, sometimes with other people too.

They'll all be assuming I've moved on very quickly and with DH's (our) friend won't they? That's none of their business, but I haven't and friend has been nothing but respectful!

Probably, but you're right - it's none of their business and I'm glad you have these friendships. I'm sure it helps you massively. Any you are actually friends with who's opinion matters will obviously know the circumstances

I doubt I’d even notice if you were my neighbour, and if I did I’d be happy for you because no one should be without companionship and support after their life partner has died.

Are you quite friendly with your neighbours ? Did they know the extent of DHs illness? Not that its any of their business but your DH is at peace now and your are free from the pain of watching him suffer. Time for you to live your life and who cares what anyone else thinks!!

Even if they do ‘talking’ who cares!

Iv recently moved and my goodness my neighbours are sooooo nosy, Iv never known people like it ….

But forget about them, They arent important
Im glad you are keeping busy
Hope you are ok x

I wouldn't assume this at all. I have several male friends though. I wouldn't worry what the neighbours think.

How well do you know your neighbours? Not that it has any bearing and I wouldn't worry.

I know someone (male) whose DW was terminally ill and looked after at home for over 12 months. After the DW died there was definitely gossip amongst the neighbours about their relationship with another woman who had been a great support to both the friend and the DW whilst she was alive. I've no idea if there was any truth in the gossip (rumours went way beyond friendship) but I certainly didn't judge.

So I would be pretty certain your neighbours are putting 2 + 2 together and making 5.

But it's none of their business whether you are in a new relationship or not. Get on with your life as you see fit.

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. And I understand your view entirely. I don’t think people realise what it’s like to watched a much loved person fade slowly from illness. You lose that person and begin to grieve long before they die.

Yes, they probably are talking. Because the world is full of people who like to fill their lives with gossip and speculation.

But so what? You have a live to live, pay not attention to what others might be saying.