Advice needed- feel overwhelmed, can't cope and what should I do.

[TessDaily]

I'm not sure how to describe what's going on with me right now but everything seems too much for me. I'm hating everything and evey little thing is irritating me. I'm moody, irritable, angry, sad, hopeless and just want to be alone. I wake up at 6 but lay in bed till 12. Getting out of bed seems like such an effort. I don't want to face the world, my life, the kids, the drudgery. I don't want to talk to anyone, just be alone. Do nothing and lay here and wallow. I've been like this for the past 2 weeks and pretty sure I'm depressed.

It hasn't come on suddenly. It's been gradual. The daily grind of kids that won't listen, youngest is a school refuser, house is in an awful state, ugly and hasn't been decorated since we bought it with 20+ decor, never having any money for things, health problems, sleep disorder, crap marriage, family drama. Years and years of a shit life with not much improving or things do improve but is replaced with another problem. Just dealing with this all on my own everyday, it's got too much.

Youngest had yet another meltdown a couple of weeks ago in the morning and just wouldn't go to school even though I begged her. She promised the night before she would when we talked about it. I was getting late for work. I snapped and yelled at her and screamed and cried. I felt awful guilt but I can't cope . And since then I've been in this downward spiral of depression and I just want to run away from it all. I can't keep up the pretence with the kids and I can't be with them the way that I want. I've told them I'm not well and need time on my own. I feel so sorry for them. They don't deserve a mum like this.

I don't know what to do to make myself feel better. How do I get out of this hole.

You start with a visit to the GP. You are ill. Give yourself some sympathy and a pat on the back for making it this far.

You need to focus on you. All the other things can be properly addressed once you are in a better place mentally.

I know this feels like the hardest hill to climb, but one step forward will do and today that can be making an appointment with the GP.

Anyone you can call on to help in real life, call them. That help could be practical or simply having a cup of tea with them.

For now, have a virtual cup with me. And we will wait together for some wise mumsnetters who will bring sympathy and suggestions and tell you that you are a hero and you can do this.

Ring the GP right now and get yourself some medication. When you're feeling better you'll be able to tackle life stuff

I've been similar to this recently. Is she due back in to school tomorrow.

You poor thing. You definitely need to make a GP apt first and tell them what you’ve told us here. That is the first step. Don’t try to do too much at once. A good GP will be able to help you.

you are ill and need help, no shame in that snd it doesn’t mean your kids don’t deserve you as s mum.

I second the gp too. You are Ill and need some help.

I have a school refuser too and it is very draining. It’s brought me to the brink a few times and all the usual advice like take her phone, no screens, grounding etc never worked. Dd15 just doesn’t care. She hates school and that’s that.

Go to your GP, get help. Either anti-depressants (changed my life), therapy referral or both. You absolutely do not need to feel this way.

How old is your youngest? School isn’t everything, I know it’s hard and you feel pressured but school isn’t the be all and end all. Yes life might be easier if she would just go to school but it’s not always that simple. Could you pull her out and home school her? She can take GCSE’s if that’s what she wants she doesn’t need to be in school for that.

Sit down with her and ask her where she wants her life to go, and the try and help her plan the next steps to achieving that. If she’s still super young then have you thought she might be neurodivergent? I hated school, I never went. Managed to get decent grades and I have a good job paying well above minimum wage but have been diagnosed at 38 with ADHD and autism.

So many recommendations for GP. I know it's a really difficult step but it's a positive one.

I am also wondering age of school refuser and if she is due back tomorrow. As PP has said, don't put too much pressure on yourself and not going is not your failure.

Depending on age you could try some ground work today. So if she is young, talk about the positive things, put a treat in as part of lunch or as a snack, set out uniform together, pick a "worry aid" like a little stuffed toy or a bracelet that she can feel if she gets anxious. I have learned from DS (age 10) that he is not looking for solutions and he particularly dislikes "you'll be fine" comments. He just wants to be heard and acknowledged. I have also been at desperation point on school so I know all these things you can try can be like pissing in the wind but also that sometimes you hit on something that helps. Are the school involved? They can be really helpful and they also want attendance figures up so it's in their interest to help this happen.

How old are you? I was exactly like this and went onto hrt. I was 47. You need to see your GP and get the help that you need xx

Could have written this post myself ! Feel very very low, I too have a school refuser and am dreading tomorrow. I've reached out to GP today to ask for help.

You have done the right thing. Hope you get the help you need.