Threshold for keeping dc off school when unwell

[BugafterBug]

My ds has low attendance. I’m just thinking about when he’s ill and I keep him off and when he is ill but goes in and I’m sure I’m doing the right thing but wondering what others think / do ?

For the following issues he goes in (sometimes needs paracetamol or ibuprofen)
-colds
-coughs
-mild headache / stomachaches

I keep him at home if he has any of the following
-fever
-d and v
-very sore throat (gets tonsillitis a lot and it’s extremely painful)
-asthma flare up

He does seem to catch a lot of viruses where he gets high fevers and needs to sleep and is really unwell. The gp did some additional checks and said it’s just normal I’ll Ed’s levels he’s just unlucky .
I don’t want to send him if he’s really unwell but I’ve been asked to look at my threshold for keeping him at home ?

*illness levels

Sounds reasonable. If he's so ill he's in bed asleep he wouldn't manage to be at school, would he? I thought you were going to say you keep him off for minor colds. They all sound like good reasons that can't easily be faked!

What year is he in? Do you ensure he catches up with missed work?

Schools are under pressure to keep their attendance figures up but sometimes kids are properly sick and it's not fair on them or the other kids (or teachers !) to send them in. They probably don't actually want a sick kid there but they have to be seen to be 'doing something about it'.

If school hassle you, tell them you think going in when you're too sick sets a bad precedent and encourages presenteeism which can be bad for mental health! It's important kids don't skive but also important that they learn it's ok to rest when you're properly ill.

What's your definition of 'fever'? How often does he get d & v? How old is he?

Over 38
Had d and v 3 times last year and each time needed a few days to fully recover as was really nasty
9

Fever and d and v, definitely keep at home,'no question. Sore throat it depends whether they are otherwise well in themselves - you know them best and can judge. Ditto for asthma - you know if they are well enough. There are probably some times when they could make it through the day with some meds or inhaler etc. if I'm not sure I usually send them in anyway as school will send them home if they are unwell or struggling. Then at least they get fewer absent marks!

He sometimes gets a mild sore throat with a cold but those times we give paracetamol or ibuprofen and send him in. When he has tonsillitis he’s in pain and can’t even sleep properly so is really exhausted too and just can’t manage to go

School governor here.

Your threshold sounds perfectly reasonable. If he's poorly keep him off.

Schools are under pressure from Ofsted to meet attendance figures and if they aren't they need to show how they are trying to improve them.

You need to do what's right for your child, not the schools attendance figures.

You are also helping to not spread illness which other parents will only thank you for. Really winds me up when clearly unwell children are sent into school

The school don’t ever call us he’s come out a few times at the end of the day really unwell and they’ve said he was ok when he definitely wasn’t and told us he had been to the office to say he was unwell but got sent back to class

I do feel we are under pressure to dose him up and push him in but like you say it’ll just spread it around not to mention be totally unfair on an unwell child. I just feel under so much pressure and I can’t see what I can do .

You are doing absolutely the right thing. Not everyone seems to understand some children get higher fevers with colds and sleep through the day/can't even sit up. I get told most years that one or more of my children's attendance is not high enough. It is so patronising to be told not to keep them off with a sniffle but if they are really ill they need to stay home...but are you feeding them to enable them to return as soon as possible...? This was said to me recently.

The thing is, some children have ongoing patterns of really poor attendance due to illness, often repeated through families/ siblings across the years so this leads to the question of whether the children are really too poorly or whether parents have a lower threshold for keeping them off - clearly sometimes this is the case and sometimes it isn't.

The pressure you feel is probably because you want them to see you as 'A Good Parent ' and you want them to agree with you that he's too sick I also struggle with this (my attendance at work has been crap due to multiple chest infections and long covid. I feel bad about it but there's nothing I can do).

It is liberating to realise that they can be as pissed off as they like, it's not your responsibility to keep them happy. It feels uncomfortable when someone is annoyed with you (or at least, you think they are).

Do what's right for you and your child.

I agree with you

This has happened with my kid too (once in foundation!)...doesn't fill you with confidence does it!

www.gov.uk/government/news/back-to-school-advice-issued-amid-high-levels-of-flu-covid-19-and-scarlet-fever

The above guidance has been issued within the last few days.

Basic gist is that if your kid is Ill especially if they have a fever then they should stay home.

This from the Guardian:

“If your child is unwell and has a fever, they should stay home from school or nursery until they feel better and the fever has resolved,” the UKHSA chief medical adviser, Prof Susan Hopkins, said. She added that adults should not “visit vulnerable people unless urgent” when feeling unwell.