How much does your parenting technique/values differ from your DH's/DP's?

[CarlaTheGnome]

I feel like DH and I are basically 'good cop, bad cop' and I'm constantly trying to make up for him getting cross with them and telling them not to make any mess or do the very normal things that little kids do. Some of the things he says to them in the heat of the moment makes my heart break. He had a shit childhood himself and has no experience at all of children so I get that this is all uncharted territory for him. Sometimes I worry that his negative attitude will affect the kids emotionally as they grow up, but other times I wonder if I'm actually being too much of a softie and that my overcompensating will affect them adversely in the future somehow as well. Can anyone relate?

We're the other way around - I'm the bad cop as I'm trying to compensate for DH following his parents' style of saying yes to everything, especially food and screentime. What sort of things does he say that break your heart?

Not by much, but I think if he was left to his own devices he would have been a very different parent.

He tends to hold back, see what I am doing and if it works, then does similar. He wouldn't try something different himself or research something which can be tiresome.

He is probably more lax than I am.