How to overcome my 'just get through the next things' mentally?

[Hillrunning]

I have ended up in a mindset of seeing everything (posior negative) as something to get though and put off other life stuff in the mean time. For example, December was my birthday various pre Christmas events then Christmas and New year. And I'd often think 'just need to get through the December activities' even though I was genuinely looking forward to it all. Then January is a job application (which will take about 4 days) then hopefully the job interview (which will take about a week of prep) and three exams at the end of the month (which I need to spend all my free time studying for). These are all positive if demanding things so why do I just keep thinking 'right get through January'. February will be a weeks trip to see my parents and potentially sister coming to stay for half term so again in my mind February will also be something to get through and so my life feels on hold till march. But thats so silly, seeing family is great, I love them.

I'm not sure I am explaining it well. Does anyone else constantly feel like life plans are something to get through? Anyt tips of how to change this? I'm taking away my own joy!

I don't procrastinate, I get a lot done. It's not so much about the little day to day jobs but the month to month flow. But interesting to hear that it doesn't resonate with yo

I definitely see life as a series of hurdles to be ‘got over’! Sometimes I’m looking forward to the next jump, sometimes not. If I have lots of hurdles in a row, I get quite anxious, and can’t wait for a length on the ‘flat’ to recover. As I’ve got older, I’ve got much better at recognising the hurdles I don’t actually need to jump and saying no to them.
We’ve been invited to a wedding in June, and it’s already a hurdle in my mind, even though it will be a nice occasion!

The thing is that it's usually things that have to be done rather than things I personally like to do @Hillrunning so I don't see a problem with it. I like ordinary days!

Well, that was me six months ago. I put a lot of effort into applications. They worked. I got interviews, and they really liked me. But said I was overqualified. Other interviews I was really interested in then the company themselves put me off.

Now I've gone from "I'm OK where I am" to "I HATE my job."

If I'd spent my time on firing out applications, it might have been a new job already. Which isn't necessarily the best thing either - my husband did say he was worried I'd go for another miserable job just because.

But I've chosen now to say "Do three things consistently". My current job (which I'm quitting). A government skills bootcamp. Follow my diet.

In three months, I'll drop my current job and the diet will perhaps be a habit. So it might be "find clients, work on toning, take new skill".

I find that doing three things has a nice seasonal eb and flow to it, and prevents the logjam of "when I've done x..."

@thecatsthecats

I love the idea of doing three things consistently. Would certainly mena that when I have tasks related to that they won't feel like things I have to get through but rather things I choose to do.

No idea what happened with that formatting! Going to have a think about what my three things are going to be.

I don't think this is what OP is talking about.

OP, you might find a book called 4000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman interesting. It’s about time and productivity and the illusion that there will come a time when you’ve done everything you have to do (whereas in fact there be will always be another thing) in the context of a finite life.

I started this type of thinking in high school. I hated it so much, all the small things like the bus journeys there and back, the classes, getting homework over with, getting the day over with, I hated life at that point and only looked forward to school hols. I had a countdown of days left of high school for a year or 2 written down.

It might help to think about when it all started for you. What triggered this type of thinking and why.

Thank you for the recommendation. I will look into it.

I have this too OP. The feeling of overwhelm at the prospect of going back to work and all I have to 'get through' before the next break is dragging me down. I'm going to try the recommended book. I'd seen it before but the idea of life being so finite depressed me. But let's try.

If you are taking exams it can be hard to imagine life after them. So thinking of them as something to be got through is normal.

Also big work things like interviews or presentations, again normal for these to be hurdles.

Be careful of thinking the same for all the other every day stuff.

Don't let a job application take up four days of your life. They don't merit it.

You are allowed fun.

Exactly. It suits me to do it seasonally, but it can also work monthly, depending on the size of your three things.

And it can include fun things! If you have a busy few months of fun things, you can say that one of your three things is having fun and building relationships etc.

Is it the same thing where you can't enjoy something as you are already thinking of the next thing to do?

Yup, that's part of it.
I've downloaded the Oliver Burkman book - really interesting and helpful.

OK so my three focus ares for January are job application, revision and eating well (have already lost 40lbs and want to keep up that momentum).

I have downloathe book and will spend some time thinking about if anything triggered this pattern.

Huge thanks all.

I've taken much of the advice on here so thank you all. I can already feel that I've slightly shifted my mindset. I spent a day and a half on the application and it is 99% done. Will leave it for a few days then proofread and submit.

Evtime I think, about jsut getting through something I get myself to consider if that's really the right way to see it.

The exams are a good thing, I'm getting to study a subject I love and I actually do enjoy exams in a funny way.
I hope thoes of you who also said you feel this way. have got some positives from the thread