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Original poster

Teacher gift: unprofessional?

55 replies

WizardLizardsLotus · 02/01/2023 07:29

Young primary DC. We had a class whip-around for a Christmas present for the teacher and TA. On the last day of term, the teacher handed out Christmas cards — but not to all the children. She made it clear that some were excluded because their parents didn’t contribute to her gift (a substantial John Lewis voucher). I understand she feels under-appreciated and I know teaching can be a really tough job, but this just seems cruel. It’s a state school and some families won’t have the money/don’t speak much English/have a different religion. Some parents just didn’t contribute for whatever reasons. But surely you don’t exclude a child for that?

I feel like I should say something so it doesn’t happen again in the school. But what?

OP posts:
Hercisback · 02/01/2023 08:22

This didn't happen.

Diverseopinions · 02/01/2023 08:22

topcat2014 · 02/01/2023 08:13

When did state primary schools get like this?

Class reps and all that shit..

God, this is what you expect in private schools.

Heads should issue notes in newsletters that presents are not required. Especially if the area has some deprivation factors.

I agree with this.

MrsMurphyIWish · 02/01/2023 08:24

I’m going to file this under “shit that didn’t happen and I want to stir up some teacher hate”.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
TakeYourFinalPosition · 02/01/2023 08:25

When did state primary schools get like this?

I’m in my mid 30s and lived in a pretty rough area and we had class reps/gifts etc when I was in primary school.

SheilaFromTheFuture · 02/01/2023 08:25

Why have you waited until now to post your fictional scenario? Schools broke for Christmas ages ago.

Abraxan · 02/01/2023 08:29

EVHead · 02/01/2023 08:07

Teachers don’t generally give every child in their class a Christmas card. Thank you cards for gifts, yes.

At primary this is actually quite common in my experience. At my primary most, if not all, class teachers write a Christmas card to each child in the class, often accompanied by a small token gift.

I've received class gifts before but have never received one that has out the names of those who contributed in - a class gift has always just had a message that it's from the whole class. Yet I know there will definitely be some who haven't contributed for a wide range of reasons. I don't do individual thank you cards in those cases hit a communal thank you message in our learning blog. I'd never leave anyone off even if I knew they'd not contributed.

hattie43 · 02/01/2023 08:30

If be very surprised if this happened and what possible reason do you have for complaining? If and it is a big thing if people can give cards to who they wish surely , might be unpalatable but not illegal

Inkpotlover · 02/01/2023 08:33

I doubt very much this is true and it's just another excuse for some teacher bashing, but if it isn't, the fault lies with the parents who organised the whip-round that some couldn't afford to contribute to and then made it clear they hadn't by leaving them off the gift tag. Otherwise how would the teacher have known which parents had contributed and which hadn't?

BacktoSlack · 02/01/2023 08:34

hattie43 · 02/01/2023 08:30

If be very surprised if this happened and what possible reason do you have for complaining? If and it is a big thing if people can give cards to who they wish surely , might be unpalatable but not illegal

Yep, that's why OP's post title included the word 'unprofessional' and not 'illegal'

Just out of interest, it would be perfectly legal to give all except one child a personalised card and chocolate each day with the words 'I think you're lovely' iced on top, just keavjng one child with nothing. Or given them an unpleasant biscuit with 'you will fail' on the top. That's not illegal, do you think that would also be OK?

Legality is not the benchmark or acceptable behaviour in a teacher.

No idea whether this happened or not, or indeed why everyone thinks it didn't, but if it then then absolutely unacceptable and yes, indicative of a thoughtless, bad teacher who is unlikely to bring put the best in children

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 02/01/2023 08:35

I’m going to file this under “shit that didn’t happen and I want to stir up some teacher hate”.

This.

Hiddenvoice · 02/01/2023 08:36

Are you sure she didn’t hand out thank you cards? Seems more likely that she handed out thank you cards and said they were for children who gave her something - not to be rude but to show her appreciation

TitaniasAss · 02/01/2023 08:37

Oh come on ...

Maireas · 02/01/2023 08:37

How would she know who had contributed, though?

Dogsogdog · 02/01/2023 08:39

Chinny reckon

wkakso · 02/01/2023 08:39

This didn't happen

hiredandsqueak · 02/01/2023 08:41

In primary dd invariably got a Christmas card from her class teacher as did all the class. The one time she got a thank you card the teacher posted it to our home address during the holidays.

wkakso · 02/01/2023 08:42

Reminds me of the poster who was outraged the teachers didn't buy her precious child a present in return 😂 - a load of rubbish!

TenoringBehind · 02/01/2023 08:42

Don’t believe that this really happened.

TheOrigRights · 02/01/2023 08:43

Go on then....say something and report back here with the outcome.
I'm betting the last green triangle in the quality street tin that OP won't be back!

Munches · 02/01/2023 08:43

This isn’t ringing true with me. How exactly do you know who gave what to the teacher?
Were you actually physically present when these supposed select few children were given actual Christmas cards?
This is what I don’t understand. I think you are going on heresay and gossip or a very young child has told you this, in which case the information may be incorrect as with children it’s usually an edited version of events anyway.

Highly doubt they were Christmas cards but more likely thank you cards.

Worth bearing in mind that not all parents ( me included) choose to participate in that sort of thing and decide instead to do their own thing by way of giving their own personal gifts. In which case I will be thanked in person by the teacher or am given a thank you card.

I really think you need to mind your own business here .

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 02/01/2023 08:43
  1. How would the teacher know who didnt contribute? Was this a power mad petty collector who wanted to make absolutely clear how important they are?
  2. when would the vouchers have been sent in to the school that there was time enough to find out who contributed AND then source cards to then write?
  3. i dont believe you.
Alreadyxmas · 02/01/2023 08:46

As others have asked, how do you know that this happened?

Hidingawaytoday · 02/01/2023 08:46

BacktoSlack · 02/01/2023 08:34

Yep, that's why OP's post title included the word 'unprofessional' and not 'illegal'

Just out of interest, it would be perfectly legal to give all except one child a personalised card and chocolate each day with the words 'I think you're lovely' iced on top, just keavjng one child with nothing. Or given them an unpleasant biscuit with 'you will fail' on the top. That's not illegal, do you think that would also be OK?

Legality is not the benchmark or acceptable behaviour in a teacher.

No idea whether this happened or not, or indeed why everyone thinks it didn't, but if it then then absolutely unacceptable and yes, indicative of a thoughtless, bad teacher who is unlikely to bring put the best in children

Show quote history

Legality is not the benchmark or acceptable behaviour in a teacher

Or in life generally. Despite what a lot of people on here seem to think!

If it happened as you posted OP, then YANBU, and even if it was thank you cards, surely the teacher could have done it discreetly?

ThreeImaginaryBoys · 02/01/2023 08:51

Utter nonsense. Don't believe it for a second.

(I send my whole class a card. It's standard in my school)

sixtiesbaby88 · 02/01/2023 08:51

EVHead · 02/01/2023 08:07

Teachers don’t generally give every child in their class a Christmas card. Thank you cards for gifts, yes.

Oh yes I do! And buy them all a small gift!

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