I feel down

[Hungrycaterpillarsmummy]

I'm finding life so relentless right now.
Two kids 3 and 1, the house is always a mess even if we spend time cleaning and tidying - it just goes back to the way it was within a day or two.
I go back to work next week after 14 months off on maternity/annual leave and I really hate my job because of my manager.
I have applied for some jobs recently.
Since being off we racked up some debt which we knew would happen but I hate having debt and I want to clear it asap.
We seem to have been given a lot of money for Xmas and it's just all disappeared. Everything is so expensive right now

I'm absolutely exhausted, that's probably the crux of it.

Just feeling down and despondent today and can't be arsed with anything. I had to leave the living room the kids were just getting to me when I was trying to tidy up. I just feel I fail at everything

No one replied :( I feel a little better today

Sounds like there's lots going on for you at the moment and change ahead which is always a bit un nerving.
The mess thing in the house, have a look at the organised mum method that helped me. Try and get out for a walk and some fresh air, really does get your endorphins going. Be kind to yourself, there are loads of jobs out there and you will get one!
Glad you feeling a bit better today x

OP. You could be me. I have a three year old and a one year old and I genuinely find each day so unbelievably difficult. I don't have any answers, just solidarity

Thanks both.

Unfortunately walks just don't have that effect right now. We went on a NY day walk and it was shit.
Today we are trying to go for a walk and feed the ducks but my 3 yr old causes such a fucking fuss about wearing clothes now me and DH just ended up shouting at each other.
I'm so fed up. Can't even feed the fucking ducks without a fuss.

This honestly sounds like me at times, I feel down more than I feel happy. My house is also always a mess. My partner does most of the cleaning so it would be even worse if it wasn’t for him. I’m Back to work soon after maternity but I’m actually excited. Sorry I’ve got no advice but hope you feel better soon x

This is a hard stage OP. My two are 2.5 and 9 months and it's relentless! The house is always a tip. People say, 'lower your standards' (mine weren't that high to begin with) but the mess impacts my mental health. I can't stand it! I try to get out as much as possible so I don't need to look at it and then DH and I tag team it once the kids are in bed.

I'm being pulled in different directions all the time as they both want/need my attention, it's exhausting.

Although you're dreading returning to work, you'll probably find it's a welcome distraction from the choas of home life. Keep looking for a new job, something will come up.

So sorry to hear that you’re feeling down. It’s a miserable time of year anyway and it sounds like you have so much on your plate. You are definitely not failing at everything - be kind to yourself.
It seems so unfair - you have two gorgeous little people that you should be enjoying but it’s just too exhausting and difficult. As a parent of a late teen, I wish I could go back to that time and try to find the joy that I struggled to find then. That’s not criticism in any way - it’s just always struck me as sad that the realities of parenthood make it so difficult to enjoy.
Do you have anyone to help you - relatives etc? First and foremost you need a rest. Things will get better. 💐