I'm currently home visiting my parents over the christmas holidays and I'm finding it really upsetting to see how they are. They are not even that old, just in their late 60's / early 70's but both of them are neglecting their health quite badly. They both need to see a doctor about medication and new problems that have started in the past year which could even be serious but they are very dismissive or even get angry if I try and encourage them to see a doctor.
My Father seems to have quite bad depression and barely leaves the house, sleeps all the time and is very bitter about things in his life but makes no effort to change them as if he has given up and he tends to focus on depressing things like how little time he has left. My Mother is diabetic but struggles to manage it, she is obese, forgets to take her medication and is dismissive of the seriousness of her condition. She still works part time at the local supermarket which is good but she uses her work as an excuse to why she can't make a doctors appointment, which I agree are often difficult to secure these days.
The atmosphere at home is quite tense, almost toxic at times and their communication is very poor leading to arguments and sending each other to coventry. Its like they hate each other at times. The house is also in a bad state adding to the grim atmosphere although I have been cleaning and tidying a lot while I've been up. This is a world away from the cosy, loving home I grew up in, with two parents who seemed to adore each other and who made our home so safe and happy.
I was already anxious about them before I came up last week but now I feel really anxious about their health and outlook unless something changes. A diabetic relative died of a massive heart attack a couple of years ago with no warning at 70 and I've seen too many relatives fade away after suffering after strokes and I almost feel now like I'm just waiting for it to be them.
I also feel sad that after almost 50 years of a happy loving marriage they are now so estranged from each other and seem to be on different planets mentally and emotionally but at the same time they are so dependent on each other. My partners parents are older than mine but even though they have health issues they do manage them better and seem much more engaged with life.
I just wish they would take better care of themselves, communicate better for my Father to find something positive he could focus on. I can't control them, they are still mentally fine and their relationship isn't really any of my business its all just so sad to see them aging so badly in this way 😞