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Original poster

Neighbours...how well do you know yours?

48 replies

shesabitofastrangeone · 31/12/2022 14:14

Inspired by another thread about neighbours (and how well you do or don't know them), wondering how well you get on with yours?

We live on an estate where everyone mostly keeps themselves to themselves. I know the names of the neighbours in about 4 or 5 nearby houses and I'll occasionally swop a few messages with the neighbour next door....just stuff about the bins or if the kids were ok to go into the garden to retrieve their ball (when we weren't in) etc.

All very polite and straightforward and probably the way we prefer it. Some of my friends have neighbours who are in and out of their houses constantly. Don't think that'd be my thing at all.

Do you have good neighbours? Do you prefer to keep a distance? Or are you all great mates?

OP posts:
CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 31/12/2022 14:17

My neighbour immediately next door to me I know quite well, we often have chats over the fence. I have a spare key to her house for emergencies and she has one for mine. We don't go round for coffee though we tend to sit in our gardens and chat over the fence with one. Everyone else in the street I know by name and say hello if I see them, we all take in parcels for each other and keep an eye on each others houses if anyone's away

BodyShapeWoes · 31/12/2022 14:21

To nod and say hello

IwishIwasSupermum · 31/12/2022 14:26

I have neighbours who are fabulous family friend type, we’ve been on holidays, have drinks, bbqs, DC have grown up together. Other neighbours who we pass the time of day with, take in parcels, etc that type of relationship, then we have one set of immediate neighbours who are horrible, they are just unpleasant people and we want nothing to do with them.

spacejenna · 31/12/2022 14:26

I live in a densely populated inner city area most of the year. Semi detached houses. I don't know the neighbours, none of them. It's a quiet area though (apart from a plumber's family rental who are a loud nuisance especially in summer).

We have a business located somewhere else and live in a rural area in the holidays, or on occasion, and everyone says hello, even strangers. I grew up in a village and it was the same there.

DoubleNit · 31/12/2022 14:27

Nod and say hello to 3 of them. I know the lady next door enough to go into her house for a chat, she's elderly, lives alone and has told me before how lonely she gets, plus she's really nice.

quicklybeendrivenmad · 31/12/2022 14:57

Not only do I know all my neighbours really well, also know half the village

frostedpin · 31/12/2022 15:09

We live in a small apartment block with 10 flats in central London. We only really see the neighbours in passing in the communal hall, so I don't know them well despite having lived here for 10 years. Occasionally have some contact with them due to issues like power cuts/broken lift etc, but nothing sociable. They all seem like pleasant enough people but we don't have anything in common with them so no reason to have any more contact, and generally I like to keep my distance.

Autumnisclose · 31/12/2022 15:14

We live in London , so people may assume we don't know our neighbours. But we do , we have a neighbourly WhatsApp group and speak to each other, take parcels in etc. We dont socialise much , apart from a party in the summer. I prefer a bit of distance with neighbours just in case you fall out !

CoffeeWithCheese · 31/12/2022 15:19

Most of ours have lived here well over a decade (as have we) so we know that section of the street very well. Increasingly though as people move on (often the very elderly "age" into supported living) the places are being bought by buy to let landlords because of where they are (good transport links and a school people want to get into) and that group of neighbours we inevitably know less well - some have really integrated themselves into the street community, others less so - but for things like the Jubilee we had a whole street party with every house invited, and it was about 50/50 if the newer residents came and joined in or not really.

We're not part of the group who are in and out of each other's houses and gardens lots drinking and chatting - but we get on very well enough that if someone needs to borrow something, or is off to the tip with spare room in their car or whatever they'll ask if anyone else can benefit.

MyMachineAndMe · 31/12/2022 15:40

One side - I know their names and dh is fb friends with them. Dh & the bloke mow the lawns together. Sometimes come around for a brew.

Other side - friendly enough, say hello in passing, but nothing more than that.

user1471538283 · 31/12/2022 15:47

Not at all and I don't want to. I went through decades of knowing my neighbors well and my last experience has put me off neighbors for life.

Neighbors are not friends and I intend to never have anything to do with any of them where ever I live. I just want quiet people I never had to think about.

slavetothekittens · 31/12/2022 15:49

Small road of about 16 houses.....I know 6 lots of neighbours to say hello to or chat small talk with.

Zippedydoo123 · 31/12/2022 15:53

Where I live it is not at all community minded. It is the least neighbourly place I have ever lived.

If I need advice I go to the corner shop though that doesn't happen very often.

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 15:53

I know my neighbours very well, doesn’t correlate with liking them though!

ComtesseDeSpair · 31/12/2022 15:54

We really lucked out with one set. Childfree couple like us, similar ages, similar lifestyles, after a couple of drinks too many one evening when we had them over shortly after moving in we divulged we go to parties such as TG and the like and turns out so do they. We do dinners and drinks every so often, and see a lot of each other in the summer when we’re all out in the garden a lot. But it isn’t intrusive at all, just nice friendliness.
The others are nice people who we know to have a chat if we see them over the fence or out and about, but we don’t have much in common to build on beyond that. Can’t fault them as neighbours though.

MajorCarolDanvers · 31/12/2022 15:55

Christmas cards and bring each other's bins in. That's about it.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 31/12/2022 15:57

Small cul de sac with 18 houses. I know some names, maybe half. There’s been some new people in the last 3 years so I don’t know much about them. If I want gossip I speak to Sarah (who’s been here since the houses were built 20 years ago with her dh - recently retired and go on lots of cruises) or Tim (divorced with grown dc and plays lots of golf - loves his car and washes it most days). Immediate neighbours - one side only moved in in November and other side - she’s nice, he’s an absolute arrogant arse of a man. They have 2 adult ds -one is nice the other takes after his dad and is a self important knob. He spent the night before last naked in his hot tub (I looked out the window to see where the sound was coming from) with 3 young women all smoking pot so much that I could smell it in my house (We're detached but hot tub is next to the fence). Luckily he doesn’t actually live there but was “looking after” his parents’ house.

RhymeHasAReason · 31/12/2022 16:16

We moved house recently and don’t have neighbours now, but when we did, we said hello, occasionally had a longer chat, took parcels for each other. We fed one neighbours cats if she was away and we were home. That seemed to suit us all, friendly but not friends as such.

When I was a child, we had a lovely neighbour. My dad was abusive and my mum didn’t do much to protect me, I didn’t realise at the time but this neighbour knew through hearing rows and bits my mother had said to her. She’d tell me to pop in whenever and give me tea and biscuits. She had cats and a fish pond which I loved and she was just really kind to me. She taught me to use a sewing machine and we’d watch James Bond films whilst eating cake. She was genuinely lovely. As I got older, we talked about my parents and she just encouraged me to do well at school so I would be independent. She just listened, never gossiped. She died a few years ago and I hadn’t seen her for many years as I’d gone no contact with my parents and as they still lived next door, I didn’t want to go near. But I’ll never forget how nice she was and that she allowed me to escape my house for a few hours a week.

grayhairdontcare · 31/12/2022 16:21

Next door to the left I've known for 30 years.
Next door to the right have lived there 25 years and never spoken a word to anyone.

antipodeancanary · 31/12/2022 16:23

Before covid, not at all. But during first lock down one brave neighbour put a note though the doors of everyone in our close, about 30 houses and set up a group chat in case anyone needed any help. Now I absolutely love my neighbours and one lady has become a best friend. Some of the retired people go out regularly for lunch, we had a drinks evening for the street before Christmas, we pet sit, etc and will be doing something for the coronation. That neighbour has honestly enriched so many peoples lives.

SchnauzerEyebrows · 31/12/2022 16:29

user1471538283 · 31/12/2022 15:47

Not at all and I don't want to. I went through decades of knowing my neighbors well and my last experience has put me off neighbors for life.

Neighbors are not friends and I intend to never have anything to do with any of them where ever I live. I just want quiet people I never had to think about.

Wow. Who hurt you!?

LibertyLily · 31/12/2022 16:39

We live rurally with only two close-ish neighbours. When we purchased our home five years ago only one of those neighbours lived on site - the other property was a wedding venue where the owners lived elsewhere. We immediately went round to introduce ourselves to the other (nearest) neighbours and met the husband only. We were underwhelmed by his welcome but thought he was just wary of incomers perhaps.

Five years on he has proved himself a bit of an arse (not many people locally like him and he actually punched a guy in a restaurant who he thought was making a pass at his wife!), but fortunately I've not seen him to speak to since that first day although DH has seen him to say hello to a couple of times. Neither of us have ever seen his wife, but I've heard them talking in the garden so she does exist.

During the first lockdown the other people moved into the wedding venue. They seem nice - we occasionally see them when out walking our dogs and we did receive an invite to a party there recently but weren't able to attend. They hate the other neighbours and have nothing to do with them.

megletthesecond · 31/12/2022 16:43

Hardy know any of them. It's a horrible ex council estate that is poorly designed so most people don't have front gardens and no one has a driveway, hence you never get to hang around out front to see people. I wish it was nicer.

Not on speaking terms with next door neighbour as they're a pain. I'm on chatting terms with a couple of neighbours as they have dc's the same age. Keep away from the drug dealers and fly tippers.....

Lovelycupofcoffee · 31/12/2022 16:49

Im polite when I see them but I’m at work all the time so it’s mainly when putting the bin out really, I have had nightmare neighbours in the past so I probably do keep a bit of a distance.

Warspite · 31/12/2022 16:54

Lived here two decades ++ from brand new.
Only one neighbour I chat to or have coffee with occasionally and who takes parcels in for me. So glad to have her.

Another neighbour was “closer” but since her man moved in, it’s faltered as she is taken up with him & now has a different life. Still friendly as far as it goes and would help me if I needed her and vice versa.

Next door is new to the area. Moved in 6 months ago. Lives alone. Says hello but doesn’t seem interested in being neighbourly. Likewise I have no interest in her. Thankfully she’s very quiet.

With a couple of exceptions many other nearby houses are rented out. Quiet enough families but of no interest to me. We’re on nodding terms & mostly in summer, might stop to chat a bit. I enjoy that and seeing the kids out to play.

Im happy with the status quo but would never turn a neighbour away nor not help them in an hour of need.

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