Birthday party and asking for siblings to come

[Outandover]

I will shortly be booking DS(7) birthday party at a venue that is £19/head with min of 10 children required to book. Due to cost we only want to invite DS friends and keep it capped at 10-12 children max, and don’t want to include siblings (DS does not play with any of these siblings and they are not close family friends. If it was a party in a hall with an entertainer this would be fine).

How can I politely but clearly word it on an invitation that we are unable to accommodate siblings please?

One of DS good friends has a younger sibling at the same school and at DS last party they turned up to drop his friend off and his DF asked could the younger sibling attend too. I had to say no as it was all pre-booked and paid for. We’ve had the friend over for a play date twice and the DM asked if the sibling could also come. Two mutual friends parties and the DM has also asked on the WhatsApp group that the party child’s DM set up if the sibling could come. These parties were pricey too. She got a yes and a no.

So, for whatever reason this DM has form for asking for other parents to take the sibling and I would just like to preempt this by being clear from the outset. No one else has ever done this except this DM, and I might be a bit biased but she runs hot and cold on me from one day to the next and I just can’t be bothered to be a babysitter for her other child when she is like this towards me.

Just say that, unfortunately, due to numbers you can’t accommodate siblings.

At these types of places, in our circles, many people bring siblings and just pay for them themselves and buy their own food when they party children go into the party room. The siblings do all tend to play with the party children at the place but no food, party bag etc. is provided. Maybe a piece of cake if there’s some left over.

Yes, put it on the invitation to forestall any CF requests. Fairy’s wording is great.

This really annoys me!! My children are pre-teens now but I we used to get this a lot with our childrens parties - we would book a venue for say 15 children at a cost of £15 a head purely for our children and the birthday child’s friends and there would always be one or two siblings that tagged along and the parents would say “oh it’s ok I will pay for their food separately”… but they would still share the play equipment etc which was intended for my child and the friends they had invited plus they would end up getting cake/drinks and a party bag/sweets as it would be unfair to leave them out. I just think it is really rude of them to bring siblings!

Definitely put it straight on the invite. Most people here do and it’s really not a big deal. If she then asks, you just say “Sorry, just as it said on the invitation, we aren’t able to accommodate siblings this time due to numbers I’m afraid.”

@Fairydustandsparklylights thanks I’ll put that phrase on the invite. As I said it’s not really an issue in a hall but when you are paying per head the costs can get out of hand.

I guess if they pay for their own entry and food it would be ok, but as you only get a specific amount of food in the package deal they would definitely need to buy their own (I’ve been to parties at this venue and the food is just enough with a little leftover for bigger appetites).

We had a similar situation a few times. If it was a pay per child invite or something where it really didn’t work for siblings to join in, I did put - unfortunately we can’t accommodate siblings.

sometimes if it was a whole class party a few extras didn’t really matter.

we did have a CF attempt to drop off their 3yo once when the activity was 7+ and DH had to run after them!