Am I odd

[Mynewhome]

My kids dad is here for a few days It's not a problem as such we get on ok. He lives with his mum. Sometimes he takes the kids there but I think they have stuff going on with visitors being busy etc. I'm not doing anything so there's no reason he can't stay. Plus he's going into hospital in a few weeks for an op and he's going to take a while to recover so he wants to spend time with the kids and me so I can't really take that away . That would be thd most selfish thing ever.

But basically I don't want him here. But not him personally. I would not want anyone here. I just want to be alone. I don't want anyone to speak to me. I don't want anyone in the same room as me . Even if they are silent . I don't want small talk . I don't want to listen to him talk to the dog. I want the empty room feeling.

Just to note it's not because he's the kids dad . It would be the same if it was my sister or my friend etc it just so happens he's the one who's here. I think I'm quite shit with people .

I think its partly because I deal with alot of shit. Special needs, mental health with 3 children and grandson and as the mum. It comes down onto me and then I have no one for myself. So I think me being on my own is like my recharging time and I don't feel I can unwind/recharge when someone is here.

Does anyone else feel similar or am I odd ?

Yes totally understand. You can't recharge unless you get that alone time for me it's being able to eat a meal without any audience (normally my toddler) and something fresh or that I really want and not because its leftovers.

Can you just spend a lot of time in your bedroom? Watching TV, reading or having long baths. Tell him you're giving him space with the children. Take some walks by yourself.
I don't think you are odd at all especially if you were expecting this time to be quiet and alone.@@was

No, you definitely aren't odd, I'm exactly the same! Think it's because I'm an only child, so always had my bedroom to escape to, when other people are around you don't have your own space, I'm not a hermit though, I enjoy the company of hubby and son, but like me, they often disappear into their own space too! Honestly, we aren't an antisocial family. we just like to do our own thing from time to time, even the dog takes herself off to be on her own when the mood suits her. I don't like visitors much, it's fine for a few hours, but when you get the ones who don't know when it's time to go, then I get a bit peed off.

Not really. I'm not comfortable in the bedroom. I also have kids who are not his. With some issues going on and I can't leave them alone. I'm on borrowed time even for a bath. And now they are in bed. But my non logic selfish side wants to stay in the living room on my own and for him to leave the room

Glad to know im not the only one to feel this way. I got woken up today for a delivery and straight away everyone one is in my face.
Mum: can we have this for dinner whilst waving box in my face , younger 2 coming down the stairs arguing over the stair gate . Stupid dog shit in the hall way so I'm also trying to clean that at the same time as kids going mum mum mum.

Then kids dad comes down the stairs. Morning love , alright love get a delivery then, what's that long pole, is it a blind its a long one ain't it .... me: let me answer. Ffs me thinking don't ask me a question if your just gonna talk over me and not wait for an answer.

Him: what time you go bed last night , me: go to answer, he talks over me . I heard you going but didn't know what time it was . Again don't ask me a question if yoir gonna talk over me.

Me grab my dressing gown . Bit cold are we love. Every time I move or touch something he has to make some form of comment

I still have tired eyes i just want that moment to wake myself up a bit and stare into the room and day dream a bit.

I know I have woken up with the hump . But still... leave me alone 😔

I think you're the norm. It would be a rare person who didn't need a break/breather/to recharge. I can't name a single person of my acquaintance who doesn't crave time on their own. Some people need less of it than others but nobody can be "on" all the time.

That sounds very full on - I know too well as soon as my head pokes out the bedroom door I’m going to have children needing me for the next however many hours til bedtime. It’s exhausting to constantly be fielding questions and requests and yes I need some alone time and quiet to recharge and gather myself. I don’t think you’re odd at all. Would he take his DC out for a couple of hours so you have fewer people to cope with?

Nope, you're not odd. Sounds like you're an introvert who needs proper alone time to recharge your emotional batteries. I'm one of those too. I like being around some people but after a while it's like being submerged and the water is rising above my chin. The only way to make the 'water' subside is to be alone with the sound of silence (and bliss).

It's not odd! 😊

I feel exactly the same, so ironically it's probably quite nice to know you're not alone

For me it's a seasonal thing as this time of year is so full on and I just want to hibernate from everyone until spring. Day to day life is exhausting, even just being at home with one DC is tiring. I love my DC to bits but relish evenings as there's just silence.

Have you noticed a pattern that it's this time of year? It could be SAD. Mine is in the form of anxiety so as well as the annoyance of other people (and pets), I get horrendous guilt that I'm annoyed with them.

Train the kids to leave you alone til after your first cuppa. That saved my sanity in the mornings

You're perfectly normal. But because quiet people don't make noise nobody realises how many there are. If all people hear is shouting, shouting is assumed to be the norm.

Quiet Power: Growing Up as an Introvert in a World That Can't Stop Talking https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01CUIADHY?ref=cmmswrrapindpp_ER8FDKVHK1P270RV9TT5

It's pouring with rain horrible and windy. To be honest kids don't overly bother me . Its just this morning I felt a bit bombarded . It's their dad who's doing my head in more. I just don't want him to talk to me. Me , can of coke in my hand. Him: what you got there then can of coke? Me thinking no its a big fat fucking turd . Just stop talking to me ffs .

The kids don't overly bother me. It's their dad more than anything. He's not done anything wrong though.