So I'm a mum of three and separated from the children's father about 7 years ago. I moved out and we went to move near my mum. He stayed in the daily home and we've never got a divorce. Mum helped me out and I managed to get my own place. I work F/T and my kids are between 9 and 13.
In October I started getting nausea and feeling very unwell. I struggled on with work and tried to hide it from the kids. I started losing weight quickly and continue to do so.
After several visits to GP and blood tests they referred me on 2 week urgent referral. Saw consultant and had CT scan yesterday.
I have very little support here and my mum is doing her best to help me. Because I'm working and looking after the kids I've never really had a chance to go and meet friends where I am.
I feel so isolated and feel I have nobody to even ask for help. Nobody apart from my mum and siblings know. I've obviously had to mention I've not been well to work as I've had appointments but I started this job only in September so don't even know them that well.
I am dreading the results and I just don't know what to do. I'm exhausted going through it all alone and I'm not even that close to my mum so what I say is not really how I feel.
I have an endoscopy next week and wanted sedation but because mum's looking after my kids and can't drive don't even have someone to collect me.
I know it all sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself but I do regret not getting out to meet people and keeping myself to myself. Any socialising is such a struggle when I'm tired all the time.
I've lived life for the kids and they've always come first. Now I'm petrified of what's going to happen to them if it's bad news. Their dad would help I think and has in the past but he doesn't see them often (his choice) and honestly I don't know how it's going to work. He has periods of going very quiet on us and not communicating so I tend to just leave it be.
Have any parents been in a similar situation?
Any advice?