Feeling a lot of shame and feel stuck

[PerpetualFailure]

I am sorry to waste anyones time reading this. I have ongoing episodes of low moods. I am at the bottom of a rut again. So fat. So ashamed. Dont want to see anuone or do anything. I really hate myself. I cant do anything. I feel distressed. My house is so yucky. I dont know how to sort it. I havent been out or moved off sofa for weeks. I am so angry and disgusted at myself. I cant even look at the mirror. My brain just operates like a stupid teen. I wish I was not a parent so I could just disappear. I feel so alone.

Fat is not a moral failing. Its just your body, and you sound tired. Most people with young kids have houses that look messed up. Some don't, but that's because of witchcraft, so don't worry. You're probably awesome. How're your children going? They're probably great, and that's because of you.

Please if u can realise thst being fat is not a heinous crime. I know it van mske

It sounds tough.

How old is your child? Are you a lone parent?

I have periods of low mood. I easily become overwhelmed. What I find helps if lists. I love lists!!! Get yourself a lovely journal or notepad they do some really good and cheap ones on Amazon or Ebay. I write myself small daily challenges, nothing major, just things like today I will wash my hair amd out some make up on, make the bed, clean the bathroom, put a wash load on. Then tick or cross it off when down. The visual of accomplishing something is rewarding and its spurs you on to tick off others on the list. Eventually you'll accomplish more and more over the weeks. You can put healthy meals on too, or just 5 minute workouts. Eventually you'll start to see an improvement. It's hard but you've got to find the strength to dig yourself out the rut x

Sorry for typos..

Firstly shame is often misguided. Have compassion for yourself - maybe not going out was what served you over the last week. Sometimes that's ok.

Try and make tiny changes like going out for a walk - even just round the block - every day so you see the sun. Take a multivitamin. Make yourself smile each day for 30 seconds even if it's forced.

The best thing would be some therapy but I know that's expensive or hard to access.

Hi. I just wanted to say that i'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I think it might be helpful to reach out to a GP to discuss how you are feeling though. There are lots of things that can be done to help you with how you are feeling. I am so sorry that I don't have all the answers or solutions to what you have going on just now but there are things that you can do - im not saying you will want to do them and im not saying they are easy, but they are things that are physically possible that might give you a distraction, a purpose and might even help you feel a bit better.

You mentioned that your home is "yucky" (I've been there). You can spend today cleaning some of your home. You can type 'cleaning motivation' into youtube and there are so many things you can listen to in the background whilst you clean. Take on one room at a time. It will be exhausting, and you might not know where to start - but making a start is really important. Once you start, you will find it easier to continue. I find when my surroundings are clean and tidy, my brain has space to think and I'm not so overwhelmed.

Maybe writing a few lists can give you some motivation too. I write lists for everything. I write down the things I need to do that day/that week and i take satisfaction in crossing things off my list. Having lists might help you get back on top of things including your thoughts and feelings.

I hope the love you have for your children gives you the motivation to seek support to help you through this rough time. From what you have said, your child/children are what is stopping you from 'disappearing'.

There is no overnight solution, and there is no magic pill that takes all of this away for us, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Small steps and support from the right places can change your life.

Please hang in there. Better days will come.

Wishing you luck and love on your journey x

Shame is a terrible emotion. So try and turn this on its head. It’s your body. A vehicle in your life. Take one day at a time or perhaps one hour at a time and perhaps seek one pocket of happiness in a day. But Don’t set ridiculous targets for achieving anything. Just do what makes you feel better. A lovely chat with a friend or a walk to the cafe for a coffee? Maybe sort one healthy meal a week and see how that makes you feel? Wishing you well.

One of the biggest revelations of my life was learning that happiness isn't something you are it's something you do.

Do things that make you happy.

Walk outside in green and or blue space every day.

Talk to people even just in a shop every day.

Get up dressed and washed every day.

Do something to achieve a long term goal eg learn a new skill, take a class, a new hobby.

Dance to music.

Watch a comedy and laugh out loud.

Eat a rainbow of food.

Yoga and mindfulness are also good.

Good luck.

And yes OP, sadly, only by doing can you get yourself out of this

Remember - even if it doesn't feel like it you control your body your body doesn't control you.

Starts off small and painful, but works eventually, drop by drop.

Yeah, I can't do any of this. I've tried and I can't keep it up. My kids are preteens. There isn't anyone who can sort this apart from me and I'm too weak to. I can't do what everyone does, I can't do it. I want to give up. I want to give up. I've tried for lots of years. Life is too hard with no joy and no point. There is no hope and everything is a burden.

The best advice I can give you is to call your GP or call one of the numbers included in the link below. The numbers in this link are for mental health specialists. They can talk to you and provide solid research and evidence-based advice. www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/helplines-listening-services/

Once again, I wish you love and luck on your journey.