Am I gay?

[FlowerLilyFix]

It’s something I discussed briefly with my therapist. She asked me if I considered I might be and I was like no way!

but I have kissed women at Uni, I have been to gay clubs and wanted to pull women but was with my BF then and now he’s my DH.

I keep dreaming about a school mum who is very sporty and she’s got this dry sense of humour, it’s like I think of her and I don’t know why. I see her and I’m shy, she’s witty, makes me laugh. I don’t feel physically attracted to her but she’s confusing me. Or she’s not but I’m feeling confused by her. Whenever I see lesbians together I’m intrigued and I want to look at them.

I would watch lesbian porn if I was interested in watching porn.

I think I’m probably bi but the side that would be attracted to a woman is really pushing inside me.

I realise now (in my 40s) that I'm bi. I never really explored it when I was younger and then I met my DH when I was 22.

I totally get what you mean about "missing out". Like you I'm happily married so not in a position to experiment, just have some nice fantasies and leave it at that!

Some people are very charismatic. In my opinion you don't have to label it. Human sexuality is complicated, individual and changes across the lifespan sometimes. It might be helpful to stop obsessing though - if I get crushes (I am married) and they risk jeopardising something, I make sure I don't feed it, don't hang around with the person, don't message them. If I am going to fantasise I make it a definite fantasy not 'them' but the idea of them. If you think you have internalised negative ideas about same sex relationships, are suppressing something important, or are unhappy in your relationship then that will require a bit more thought.

Yes I think time to leave to fantasies. Grateful for the input. Thank you