When is the last time you had a really interesting conversation...

[WinterFoxes]

and what was it about?

I'm discounting any conversations about DC/family/schools/homes. I mean a wider conversation. And not just an opinion rant about Brexit or Trans, but a proper to and pro exchange of ideas?

We held a drinks party this Christmas and i realised I had nothing to say. Just nothing. No interesting anecdotes from life or observations or thoughts. It hsocked me that all I felt good for was topping up drinks and asking who was around at New year.

I want to chat about the world - anything really - not necessarily heavy stuff, just quirky, intriguing things and I don't know where to start.

Do you keep up to date with world affairs? If so then you can ask if anyone's been following whatever news event had caught your interest. I stopped doing this a long while back, but i used to find The Economist a good source for balanced news and in depth information. The more frequently you read it the easier it gets.

I had an interesting conversation with my 7yo niece yesterday about a book she just read and I haven't. I asked her what she thought about the villains. She said there are a dirty poor aunt and a grumpy old grandad. I asked her what she thought might have made them bad.

In the afternoon we were in the car and saw a herd of birds flying and frequently changing direction. I asked my son how do birds know which bird was leading the herd. We both looked closely and couldn't find one. They take turns to lead. How interesting!

This morning I was listening to music (recorded not live) in a public place then I turned to my husband and asked how these public places pay royalties on the music they use to the musicians. How are they charged for music they just put on any time? Well we both had our guesses then went on the internet to check. Apparently its quite complicated.

Maybe just ask questions about what you saw or heard is a good way to start a conversation.

Had a great conversation at a neighbour's Xmas drinks with a friend of hers who grew up in Germany in the 70s/80s, about the things we used to enjoy doing as teenagers.
Also have some of interesting (and some less interesting) convos with DS along the lines of "which would you rather have - no eyes or no feet".
Don't beat yourself up about it too much. I find it much harder to start conversations than to join in. I probably need to compile a list of conversation starters to refer to!

I think it’s hard to have an in depth conversation in a light social situation that’s not going to be about something controversial, where people are expressing differing opinions, but can easily tip over into an argument, or it is something that is already a shared interest that both parties have some knowledge about.

Conversations are interesting when people ask questions and are genuinely interested in the responses, and there is equal opportunity for everyone to speak.

I’ve just come back from a stay with a group of friends, not all of whom I know very well. One couple dominated the conversation but it was so dull - where to go food shopping, what route to take to get somewhere, how the curtains where we staying compared to the ones at home, or a lot where they were just talking about themselves and their own interests and assuming everyone was equally fascinated.

It's difficult for me to have meaningful conversations at a party. I just often join in rather than bringing up anything. And in a crowd most conversations are rather bland or silly. I prefer one to one exchange.

As already mentioned, the Economist is a great read.
Or subscribe to The Times/NYT. Even a skim of the headlines is worthwhile.

I'm away this week in a European country and my most interesting chats have all been with taxi drivers! All of them came to this country to escape war, famine, etc.

Anyway, yesterday's encounter was fascinating. My driver left Iraq in the 80s, went to Iran, then Syria. Whilst trying to reach the UK in the 90s, he was stopped in this European country and had to claim asylum here. He took his children (born here) to visit Iraq in early 2000s but they hated the heat. He hasn't been back since and accepts his life is here now. Showed me loads of photos. I told him I admire anyone who has to start afresh, learn a new language, make sacrifices for their children, etc...and said he should write a book. What a lovely interesting man and I really enjoyed our chat.

We went for a duty coffee with some acquaintances yesterday and they literally told us all about random school friends (they are both in their 60s now!) and neighbours, none of whom we know, for 2 hours. They asked us nothing just monologued. Perhaps conversational skills should be taught.

I work in care, had a really interesting conversation with a client yesterday about her life, she’d been a minister and told me about her calling and her days working as a missionary in Africa, fascinating woman. In fact most of the elderly people I work with have led interesting lives. Love my job.

I was given a small dinner party game called conversations or something along those lines. Played it with a small group of adults and teenagers and my brother. So interesting- the cards have very varied questions about memories, opinions etc and really did get us off our usual conversations. And I learnt things about everyone that I didn't know.

Our family culture has always been very "high-brow" despite our rural working class background. Much of this, I suppose, has been passed down from my ambitious (and I do mean this in a positive sense) grandmother and mother. So we have "interesting" conversations about stuff such as politics, society, religion, literature, and philosophy.

While I do mainly enjoy this (I was brought up this way, of course), I sometimes wish my family were a bit more capable of engaging in inane chit-chat. Especially so since I'm in a line of work that also tends to attract a type of person with rather similar preferences.

We can't ever just speak about a sports event (not that I'm particularly well versed in sports) - it'll always have to result in a general debate about the societal value of elite sports.

It's interesting, but it can get rather tiring!

We played a game called Who In The Room .. ?
It opened up loads of interesting debate , some was about trivial unimportant stuff but some became quite in-depth.

I prefer The Spectator to The Economist for conversation starters but either is good. I also recommend Pocket on the computer. Every day it has a selection of interesting articles that are worth reading. It then becomes much easier to start a conversation with "Yesterday I read an article about ..... I thought it was really interesting ...."

A colleague from South Africa has great stories and has seen a fair bit of the world too. Last had lunch with him a few months ago so that the last interesting conversation I had.

Except for 9yo DS who has ASD - he could cough up some really random interest fact at any time.

I have interesting although fairly short conversations with patients at work when giving care.

Oh god I am a changeling from your family, this is me, I have a lot of friends so I know it can’t be THAT bad (ie people always want to stay in touch with me through decades, and I LOVE chatting and hearing all about them), but I can absolutely tell that I go off on one sometimes.

I have some terribly nice posh English friends for whom chat is like a Japanese tea ritual, full of rules that can’t be broken ‘and how is your sister/she is well thank you. And how is your own sister/she also is well I thank you/and how has your weather been’ and when i off-road into ‘she’s all right I think but I worry about her domestic load, but you could say that about most mums, do you think we have really solved the issue of women’s work, what would the suffragettes think I wonder’

and then I see them repress a look of horror and I quickly get back on track with ‘the weather has been indeed inclement but not untypical of the time of year/have you bought anything nice in the sales?’ And all is okay. Even though I really want to say ‘but re the sales do you think consumerism is really working for society on a global level yada yada’ I have had adhd diagnosed and undiagnosed as the reality is I just like to think and talk about 50 million things at once. Some people love it and some hate it.

Also love the spectator, and used to love things like Jezebel when jia tolentino was writing there - perfect wide ranging stuff.

Had an interesting conversation about the Bayeux Tapestry and the Battle of Hastings last night with my DS, he taught me a lot (not something I covered at school and it’s passed me by). My input was the 0800-00-1066 Hastings Direct advert

I talk quite a bit about cultural differences with DH, we had vastly different upbringings and have lived in quite a few countries. We usually notice something that differs between us every day, and we’ve been together a long time! Last night we were talking about candle auctions, they are the norm for him but I’ve never witnessed one.

Agree with some other posts that it's about observing things and asking the how and why questions. Even random observations and comments can lead to something interesting. Got to know who you're with though. I really envy the pp who can have heavy world affairs discussions with their family without it spiralling into shouting from some people. We have so many "don't go there" subjects because of one particular person.

Sorry, I love the ECONOMIST, so full of random interestingness, never subscribed to the spectator but read some fun fascinating articles from there.

I am currently loving Beyond the Blinds podcasts, esp the ones about the kardashians and the Nickelodeon ones, as I find them really insightful and analytical about the forces within the multi billion dollar entertainment industry.

Ooh, what are candle auctions?

Likewise to DH from different culture and met in a third - endless fascinating differences!

We’ve just had ten nights of very small, small talk while visiting family except for one evening with my sister and BIL. He is very intelligent (headhunted from his PhD, software developer/ tester with an interest in robotics and AI) but not always the best communicator (and my sister interrupts him too much). But he answered lots of questions I had about AI, the new ChatCGT tool, Dall-E and lots of other aspects of it from the impact on employment to robot ‘consciousness’. It was so interesting to be taught something new.

Me and boyfriend both work for different areas of the civil service so we talk about that a lot - not just our own jobs but elsewhere - things like school buildings threat to life, working for HMRC, and non-native species infestations were recent ones! I also listen to the From Our Own Correspondent podcast from the BBC World Service - it’s 30 mins of interesting content from foreign correspondents around the world. Not necessarily boring news stories either - sometimes just about what it’s like to live as a Brit in Columbia, or the tea ceremonies in China - there’s always something interesting on.

I find asking people general questions about themselves usually works as most people love talking about themselves, or seen or read any good books/films etc lately, holiday plans, what do you think of all the Russians trying to balance by open windows in tall buildings lately, that sort of thing.

I got given the card game Shot in the Dark this year, it has been great for sparking interesting conversations! It’s basically like Trivial Pursuits but no board / dice / counters. The questions are really random and varied, and up to date. Everyone enjoyed it, from 12yrs to 77 yrs, and we talked on about the questions afterwards.

@Nepoyeah light a short candle, the last bid made before it goes out wins! Mainly used when auctioning land.