Fat and ugly. Gastric band

[Vanishbanish]

I'm really ugly and over weight. Because I hate myself I don't really make any effort with my apprence.

But I am trying to change things. I have had all my bottom teeth removed and having my teeth replaced. The next step is to get my top teeth removed. So with that side of things I'm going in the right direction.

I'm very over weight my BMI is 32. But I really wanted to have a gastric band. But im not over weight enough to have a band. The only other option is the balloon but that just seens pointless.

I'm not diabetic or anything like that so I can't have it on medical grounds. I'm not in a position to be able to go abroad

If I'm paying for it I feel like I should be able to get it done . But it seems that's not thr case

A couple of posters have asked about my teeth.

I don't know what it's called. But dentist told me it can be hereditary. My teeth crumble and decay easily. Until a couple of years ago when I went to the dentist and my teeth were crap . The dentist was always rude and having a go at me about my teeth and made Me feel total shit . I told them how scared I was. But I think because my fear does not show outwardly I'm not believed. I withdraw into myself. This would then lead me not to go again for several years.

I put myself through massive pain. I literally used to ruck back and forth. It would cause pain in the tooth , nerve in my law bone and my ear. If someone spoke to me or rattle a packet a shooting pain would rush through.

This dentist is the only one who has actually acknowledged that its hereditary, well he told me. And also for me to allow it to get that bad and out myself through that much pain he can see it's fear . Even if I'm not outwardly showing it.

So basically my teet have crumbled and been removed. He has made me feel so much better and worked with me without judgement that I have been able to get lots done.

Sorry for any typos

When I lost weight several years back . I felt so much better in myself. I felt positive. I had much more energy. I did not feel ugly I felt alive and full of beans. And I want to be like that again.

I know its not going to cure everything but it's definitely a big start.

I have been thinking about this for a long time it's not just a thing that Came into my head. I know my own emotions etc it's just I have not gone into detail on this thread.

I know you don't want to inject yourself with weight loss drugs (understandably!) but I knew someone who had WLS and honestly it sounded horrific.

Her parents paid for her and she was very overweight and is a bit slimmer now (I haven't seen her for a couple of years so I don't know if she put the weight back on) but some of the long term side affects and the lifestyle changes she's had to make were awful. I don't know if she knew this before the surgery or was so desperate to have it she was willing to go through it anyway.

Ironically her sister was also overweight and lost all her excess weight via WW or similar, so choose your hard.
The difference is the sister won't have made very serious permanent changes to her digestive system.

You sound like a nice person OP, so emphatically not ugly. I'm sorry you feel a bit down at present and I don't know much about gastric bands.

Hope you can gently take steps to achieve more confidence and happiness.

I had a band put in 15 years ago , and had it removed last year.

The big trouble with the band, is that it goes on your stomach, not on your brain.

Sure, at first you can't eat much and you lose heaps of weight - I lost a lot and have lovely photographs of myself looking great . But over time ( about about 3 years from getting it put on) I started to want my favorite foods and drinks, and the band let me do it.

The band stops you from eating "good " foods like meat and salad, but it is OK to eat things like ice cream, chocolate, milk shakes, creamy desserts, you name it. I soon learned that I could consume things like that to my heart's content , and the weight started piling on again. I'm now heavier than I was when I got it put on, which makes me so mad.

As my band doctor told me at the time, the band is only a tool, you use that tool to lose weight. If you don't use the tool properly , you will gain weight. They call it "band failure" but really it isn't the band that fails, it is the recipient of the band who fails to use it properly.

I know how you feel about your appearance - I just looked at pictures of Christmas and everyone else looks normal , but I look like a big balloon. I could cry at the thought of it.

I've had my band removed, and I'm battling to stop the weight from going on even more. My brain just seems to overcome any and all resolutions to stop eating so much.

I'm not trying to put you off - if you get one you may have great success. I hope you do.

I wish you well on your journey, OP.

Oh god no! Do not get wls with a BMI of 32 if your weight is stable and not climbing. I had a GS with a BMI of 40. I now have a BMI of 21 but I'm very malnourished. I have to have prescribed shakes that the elderly have. I struggle to fight off infections it's truly life changing.

Do not have the band !!! It causes so many problems erosion etc most places don't offer them anymore. All surgery has side effects which aren't pleasant.

Semaglutide is available as ozempic and as wegovy. Ozempic is a smaller dose pen and wegovy goes higher. The problem is that worldwide there are shortages of semaglutide so people are using the diabetic pens for weightloss.

I don't know if this post will help op but I am going to post it anyway because I believe you have to start out by feeling you are worthy, that you have value and you can be an imperfect human being like the rest of us. Basically if you can wean yourself off thoughts about being ugly and fat. Replace these thoughts with thinking about how a new day in is a new start. Tiny daily decisions that you make that collectively will have an impact.

I am 5'4" and weigh the same now aged 64 as I did when I was 24 which is 9st because I love food but only eat one small daily meal and my bmi is in the normal range. What to eat and drink doesn't dominate my life. I help out at the stables to get lessons reduced.

I wake up happy, full of beans and I love running and dancing, swimming and riding. I would not be able to afford a partshare of my horse if I spent my money on crap. I go without things alot of women take for granted like getting their hair done or nails done . believe me, having a focus that is not me makes all the difference.

If you are able to focus on being kind to yourself and not focus on things that upset you it will help.

What about a sleeve ? My sister had one privately in march and is now 10.7! Stone from about 18 odd !
Amazing result!
Cost £10k
No going back like a band or balloon..

She can't eat normally but is so much better and healthier !

I’m one of the people taking Ozempic for weight loss. It is licensed for weight loss as well as for treatment of diabetes and has been approved by NICE for use in the UK and Europe for treatment of obesity.

I have tried every diet under the sun for over 30 years. They all worked initially but then not so much. Friends who spend a lot of time with me and see what I eat are surprised I was as big as I was as in their views I don’t eat enough to be that big. So I knew it wasn’t just calories in calories out. I don’t binge eat. I knew it was something else. So having read a newspaper article about Ozempic I decided to try it. I had previously discounted Saxenda as it ‘just’ reduced appetite and helps stop binging neither of which we an issue for me really. I was interested in the fact that Ozempic worked differently. And it does work for me. I’ve lost almost three stone. I’m not going to apologise for taking a drug for weight loss that is licensed for weight loss.

Thank you for everyone's kind messages. The advice I have had about the mental health and emotional side of things . I really appreciate it.. but this is not something just came into my head its been there for many years..and I know myself pretty well . But the fact remains my bmi is not heigh enough even though I'm classed as obese. I can't have it. I was just hoping I had got it wrong on the private side of things. But it seems not 😔

At that bmi, the NHS and even privately, you are unlikely to qualify without other issues going on. You should be able to go abroad (Turkey is extremely popular, prices seem to be about £4k) however. Join this group for support. www.facebook.com/groups/TheFriendliestGastricSleeveBypassGroupUK

Thank you . Yes realistically I know I won't be able to have it. I'm not in the position to be able to go abroad.

I'm sorry @Vanishbanish that you feel so low and negative about yourself.

Actually, though, I'm glad that surgery isn't an option, as it's so drastic and looks as if it could risk serious complications - as well as possibly not working in the longer term.

I note, though, that you haven't answered any questions about your diet. You are also looking for 'simple' solutions.

What is your diet like? Do you feel that changing how/what you're eating isn't going to be simple enough? Because, honestly, this will be the best place to start - not just for weight loss now, but for your longer term health (physical and mental)

@Peridot1 Fair point to an extent. But the criteria for weightloss medication/s many meet them except for maybe not being diabetic, but could end up being without help and weightloss, so i don't think it's unfair, if someone goes to their GP for example, and is put on medication.

It's a well known fact that obese people cannot or have a hard time psychologically linking what they put into their mouths with their heaviness and obese condition; and therefore, from this perspective, decisions to seek weight loss solutions often don't involve tinkering with this.

When I lost weight several years back . I felt so much better in myself. I felt positive. I had much more energy. I did not feel ugly I felt alive and full of beans. And I want to be like that again.

OP, you've done it before and you can do it again.

I can't quite believe that you are considering major surgery when your BMI is so low - yes you are a bit overweight but barely enough to justify this!

Come on. I've been where you are (BMI 34 at its highest). Please give the orlistat another go. You can do it.

Gastric band surgery is major and it might well not do what you want it to. There's no guarantee that it will be any more permanent than the last time you lost weight, and you will have had major invasive operation - not to be too graphic but someone will literally cut you open and mess about inside you to do this. Think about that. It's not a nice thing.

Try again with the orlistat and use myfitnesspal, and do a bit of exercise. I know that makes it sound simple but it actually is. Maybe spend some of the money you would spend on this operation to get a counsellor to talk things through with, or a personal trainer to motivate you. It is a much better way.

Op you sound like you maybe have body dysmorphia , I’ve not saw you but surely your teeth didn’t all need pulling out . Also I have BMI of 32 and I wear a size 12-14 definitely not a gastric band candidate . You sound like you need to be kinder to yourself and get some therapy .

I would not go that far, yes I did need my teeth removing most of them have crumbled or very loose. It's taking a long time but at least with my teeth I'm getting somewhere .

Size with I'm in a size 18. So quite different to you .

Thank you that's a really nice post, reality is I can't have a gastric band anyway as my bmi is not heigh enough. And I definitely have nothing to loose by trying the orlistat. Weather is beginning to change as well si I guess that helps to get out more.

I'm actually relieved that you have been turned down for it. They are horrible things. They do help people, yes, but they're extreme. I get that you're frustrated with your weight, but you are miles away from needing that level of intervention.

You can lose weight without having someone cut you open and mess around with your insides.

Just remember that you've done it before and you can do it. You know what to do. Why not get out for a walk this afternoon? :) Good luck.

Spend your money on decent therapy. The fact you value yourself more when you weigh less speaks volumes about your self worth and what are called conditions of worth. A good counsellor could help you go over these things and address the issues that make you feel this way and disrespect yourself so much that you possibly eat for comfort or make choices that hinder rather than enhance your life.

I never actually got turned down. Never even asked about it . Its just from researching it I know I would not be given the go ahead . I don't feel as negative as I did . Still not happy with how I am . But I do feel in a better place to tackle it than I did before.

Put the money you'd spend on surgery into getting a personal trainer who will give you an eating plan, motivation and accountability.

Money well spent.