New colleague thought we were calling her names

[burgledinParis]

A month or so ago colleague (C) and I were in the kitchen at work talking about our respective new induction hobs in our respective new kitchens as we'd both had gas up until now ( C had gotten his kitchen done first and had warned me that the new sensitive ones beep the whole time when a pan is off centre of if there is water on them etc ... ) This had proven true with mine and I made a comment along the lines of "I know you told me about yours, but I wasn't expecting mine to be such a "whiny bitch"."

By whiny bitch I was referring to my new induction hob.

We're in France but the whiny bitch conversation happened in English.

This was the same week that we'd both welcomed new people to our teams ( we're both senior management) Cs' new junior H had arrived a few weeks prior and my new colleague A had arrived the week before.

This afternoon I send an email to A thanking her for a document she'd drawn up and saying I was looking forward to working with her in 2023 and that I thought she's a good addition to the team etc etc (all true).

She replied that she was surprised I was so happy, I asked why, she said that she'd overheard me in the kitchen with C calling her and H whiny bitches during her first week.

1. I'm mortified because she's spent her first month believing this and it's not true and really doesn't reflect the way we treat people at work

2. Although I call objects word like whiny bitch ( the printer, my new hob, my useless floor steamer.) I would never ever call a woman these ways - and for those about to tell me this is misogynistic anyway - I'm French and call things bastard if the gender of the word in French is masculine and bitch if it's feminine.

3. Even though this thread is the utter truth - I'm not sure new colleague A will ever believe me and I'm scared this will be a bias in our professional relationship for ever.

Is there anything I can do other than invite her round for a meal and make sure she realizes that my new hob is indeed a whiny nightmare.

All suggestions welcome.

Thanks

Send her a laughing emoji and oh no! I was talking about my oven!

Do you wonder if it's possible she heard the exact conversation but made it up to try and ruin your reputation?

Just tell her the truth and be very sincere about it. Its up to her if she wants to misinterpret what you said after that.

No not an emoji! That's way too dismissive. Just be sincere and honesty, this is totally fixable. The truth is too niche for her to believe it's made up, surely

I'd tell her the truth.

I once had a misunderstanding with a work colleague. We were working away and had adjacent hotel rooms. He misheard me saying something completely innocent as we unlocked our respective rooms and thought I'd said something VERY unprofessional since he was a senior and married man!

Luckily the misunderstanding was cleared up the next day when I repeated the original comment but I sometimes wonder what would have happened if he'd gone on believing it. So mortifying. Just explain and apologise.

Can we hear more of this story ? 😆

Well describing a kitchen implement as a whiny bitch is somewhat surprising!

Better to explain this in person. That’s a good thing she told you what she thought she heard as it could have festered and gotten worse.

Not so odd in a gendered language.

@TigerDroveAgain I think it's maybe a french thing to refer to inanimate objects as bitch, it's probably just something that doesn't translate!

My entire kitchen is filled with whiny, beepy fucking bastards.

Wouldn’t be surprising in French to use those words.

@burgledinParis just tell face to face.
Explain what has gone in and re iterate that you think she is doing a great job.

I asked if he wanted to poke in my room (because we'd been musing much earlier in the day on how similar hotel rooms are so I thought he might be interested in poking his head around the door to compare). That's not what he thought I meant by poke.

Omg! How mortifying- bet your are glad that got cleared up very quickly 😂😅

That's exactly what induction hobs are though. I keep saying mine is high maintenance because no matter what it beeps at me because it's unhappy at one thing or another.

And don't get me started on the washing machine which beeps if you so much as breathe heavily in its direction.

Just explain you were talking about your oven and apologise for her thinking you were talking about her.

@Vaccine001 I think she's good natured - her English isn't great so I can understand why she understood what she understood.

@followers I think you're all right - I'm just going to have to be as sincere as possible and hope she believes me

@TigerDroveAgain This hob is atrocious and deserves every level of insult

-use a non induction pan ?- One long beep then turns all the burners off
-anything slightly touching the touch pannel lots of little beeps then turns off
-pan not centered long beep, short beep, long beep until you centre the pan
-drop of water on the hop fast short beeps - doesn't stop till you wipe dry - if you even slightly touch the touch panel while wiping long beeps then goes into safe mode and you have to wait 30 seconds to turn her on.
-if it thinks something has been on high too long long low beeps then automatically turns the temperature down

I also think that even though we speak English we use French grammar and refer to things as she/he this conversation probably went with my colleague C saying "ah but she's just over sensitive" and me replying " ah non, she a whiny bitch". Using pronouns for objects makes us personify them I think.

Does no one else have nicknames for their electrical appliances ?

Lol, definitely! Could have been worse - he could have enthusiastically said yes!!!

@Whatwhatwhatnow Thank you for your story - makes me feel much better!

We had a non francophone colleague at work mix up the formal "baiser"

- se faire un baiser - to kiss someone - se faire la bise - to do the cheek kiss

with the informal "baiser"

baiser quelqu'un - to fuck someone - baiser - to fuck

One day she saw me greet our directors wife and do a cheek kiss - it's very rare but it was a special day for her - which is why she popped into the office - I knew this and was just very happy for her.

A bit later in the day she asked "c'est normale en france de baiser la femme du patron?" in front of about 8 people

She of course meant is it normal in France to cheek kiss the bosses wife - what she actually said was "Is it normal to fuck the bosses wife in France"
a general laughing fit ensued and the white board in the meeting room was used for an impromptu French lesson

Your grammar will make perfect sense to multilingual people who also speak a language with gender. Time for a language lesson for your new colleague! I'd also invite the other new person and the other manager, clear the air.