Would you have said thank you?

[mackthepony]

Ordered SIL 2 bottles of wine from M&S in a gift box. This was along with gifts for brother and their two children.

Called their home on Christmas Day to say Merry Christmas. Did not speak to SIL for one reason and other (chaos, dinner madness etc). Kids said thanks for their gifts.

Not heard anything from SIL to say thanks. I am friends with her on SM, she has my email address etc. No quick message to say thanks.

Would you have said thank you?

Did your brother thank you?

There was chaos and you didn't speak to her the whole day give her the benefit of the doubt. It sounds like you don't like her.

And yes did your brother thank you?

Tbh would have presumed that the two bottles of wine were a joint present and that your brother had already thanked you

No, he actually didn't. He said thanks for the kids' stuff

( I got him a pack of beer as a gift, so there were four gifts in total)

If your brother said thanks then that would suffice for me.

Christmas is a busy time for everyone and it's easy for things like this to slip people's mind. I wouldn't be offended enough by this to start a MN thread.

It seems a bit like you're looking for a reason to critisize her, or you're being quick to jump to the conclusion that she's ungrateful. I'd let it go.

I wouldn't be at all bothered but I appreciate I am in the minority. I don't care if people say thank you to me or not.

Did they get it then? If he only said thanks for the kids stuff?

I don’t think it’s the worst crime in the world but yes, I would have said thank you. I think it is rude not to thank someone for a gift.

A general thanks would be good enough for me. I wouldn’t expect a thanks from each individual person unless I got something particular to them. Of course if everyone was sat exchanging gifts I’d expect a thanks, but in the situation you describe I can imagine the gift being forgotten amongst the chaos of Christmas.

I our house at this time of year it’s quite feasible DH took in the parcel, put it in a cupboard and forgot about ir without even telling me it’s there.

probably expect a thanks in July 🤣

OK fair enough everyone, thanks for the replies

I’d check they received everything, probably. If your brother didn’t mention any booze either and it’s out of character for SIL then worth asking.

It's only been 3 days

If anything I'd wonder why your brother didn't. I don't why it's up to SIL.

I too would expect brother to have said thank you. I always ask DH to thank his side of the family for my gifts, if I haven’t spoken to them personally beforehand. I do the same for him.

I agree with the majority, it's not a big deal. It's a token gift, it won't be at the front of her mind so she's unlikely to make an effort to thank you specifically as she'll assume your brother did a general thanks for all the gifts when you called.

I sent my brother a £50 voucher, not heard a dicky bird!

I wouldn't have cared. I buy gifts because I want to give the person a gift. Don't give a single feck if they don't thank me.

So you didn't even notice that your brother didn't thank you, but agitated about SIL. That's all you need to know.

You started a post to complain about your SIL not thanking you, but your brother didn't thank you either and HE was the one you handed the gifts to so if anything, I'd have expected a thank you from him and wouldn't have even noticed re the SIL.
Do you not like her?

Then be annoyed at him? No he didn't even register. Just wanted to attack your SIL.

Why do you hate her?

I haven’t even begun to say thank you for anything Christmas related yet. In my defence this year I’ve had flu (and my DC now has it!) but I would likely not have started writing thank yous or texting people until later this week even under the best circumstances. It is a pretty hectic time of year!