Feel like my toddler is more difficult than others?

[Cinnabomb]

My DD 2.3yrs seems to be a lot worse / more difficult than other toddlers her age. I’m exposed to quite a few different families and see her interact most days and she just seems far more hard work than the average 2 year old. By that I mean vastly more energy, is non stop, needs to be watched constantly or she will do something she’s not supposed to, would run off given any chance etc.

to try and be more specific - she would leave a play park etc if a gate was left open and be off exploring without even a look back, others seem to want to keep their parent in sight. Always needs reins on elsewhere or she’d run off.
cant leave her in front of the tv whilst I’m upstairs, she would be climbing on the kitchen cupboards etc or she can open the doors outside or creating some other havoc (my friends say they can shower etc whilst toddler watches tv)
generally very ‘explosive’ and has regular meltdowns over everything, every day multiple issues caused by nothing. She just seems to object/ be contrary for every little thing despite routine and consistency, it doesn’t actually matter what the issue is- she just tries to battle over anything (I stay calm and largely ignore)
very very loud- actually annoyingly so - despite us trying to teach her inside voice, no shouting, having loud time outside where appropriate etc.

im prepared to be told it’s my parenting but I really don’t think it is- I’m a lot more ‘on it’ than most of my friends are - because they don’t seem to need to ! I am firm but fair, very consistent and hold boundaries etc and make sure I follow up actions / consequences if needed. Never give in to tantrums.

Besides I’m not really sure how you would ‘discipline’ out high energy etc. she is taken out every day x 2 to the park and for walks for most the day (out 9.30-12.00, nap 1 hr and out 3-4.30) sleeps very well, eats non processed foods etc. she’s not in nursery currently as we have just moved but previous nursery said she was ‘very strong willed’.

I am also aware lots of these are standard toddler behaviours. But she just seems much more intense than others? She’s been ‘difficult’ since she was born, was high needs baby etc. I’m not worried about ND as she’s an extremely social child, loves other kids.

im struggling. Hoping she will grow out of it!

I’m not worried about ND as she’s an extremely social child, loves other kids.

I'm not suggesting that your child is neurodivergent, but this is an extremely ignorant comment. Neurodivergence covers a myriad of issues, it's not code for antisocial. Plenty of neurodivergent people are sociable.

Was she also like this as a baby? Mine was always more full on than other babies and kids. Found out when they were 13 they had ADHD. A bit of learning to manage it and they are doing really well with life. It's not a negative, it was interesting having a more inquisitive and explorative child in many ways. A few differences in the baby and toddler years made sense after being diagnosed. She's also very social and always was.

Need some reassurance.

18 month girl and has been HARD WORK since birth. Had colic, possible reflux. Expressed bottled milk until 11.5 months. Eats pretty well outside of teething. Sleeps through the night. Battles all day naps. Always has. she cries, whinges and moans 80% of the day. We have taken her on 6 holidays and every single one has been such hard work. she hates the water, sand. Hats. She has travel sickness in the car only. Cries in the car, every single time, cries getting changed, cries if you put any hat, gloves scarf on. Hates clothes. Hates all nappy changes. Throws everything always. Cries from the moment she wakes up till she goes to bed. Been to the drs multiple times. Nursery a few days a week and they describe her as VERY strong willed. Family all confirm and describe the same, that she is very hard work. Feels like I am missing something or constantly done something wrong as a parent. I cry myself often when alone at how hard this is. Was convinced it would have easier moments by now. Have another one on the way, feel sad rather than happy. Will it ever get easier? Is there. Something wrong? Feels like it is just me. Worked with children. Never experienced anything like this. Friends babies / toddlers also not like this. I really need reassurance. All I see if east babies and toddlers and very well behaved ones.