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Original poster

Just terrified !

15 replies

windmill4865 · 27/12/2022 17:38

I am flying to see my daughter in Oz (not seen her since 2019) Only, I am terrified of going alone. Not scared of flying. Just have never done anything alone. Lost my Mum, Sister and then my Dad. They always supported me and I always felt "safe" This is now gone. Not a backstory, but my husband is strong and not interested in my anxieties. He is just always angry with me. I want to go, Think a pep talk is all that is needed really x

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 27/12/2022 17:40

I was widowed this year and as a result have done lots of things alone that I would usually have done in a couple. The one thing I have discovered is that, often for me, the idea of doing something alone has been worse than the reality of doing it. You CAN do this!

Hbh17 · 27/12/2022 17:40

What is scary about travelling alone? You just get on the plane and sit there for however many hours. If you can identify what your actual concerns are, then perhaps it will help you to overcome them?

Claricestarling1 · 27/12/2022 17:46

I just flew home to Australia this past August for an unexpected family event. I absolutely hate flying and had never travelled alone but it was absolutely fine and I really surprised myself at how easily I did it! Navigating the airports was really easy, even in Singapore for the layover..you’ll be fine and once you’ve done it once it’s a breeze! Have fun x

cariadlet · 27/12/2022 17:54

Look at the website for your airline. Some have social stories. They're designed for autistic travellers who need to know what is going to happen before trying new experiences but are also helpful for nervous or inexperienced travellers.

Prescottdanni123 · 27/12/2022 17:57

Is it navigating an airport on your own? Because I used to hate doing that. I always used to panic I'd get lost or not realize that my gate had opened until it was too late. If that's the case then honestly you'll be fine as long as you give yourself plenty of time and keep checking the departure boards for info on your flight. Airports are very well signposted and there are plenty of people to ask.

Sparrow80 · 27/12/2022 17:57

I’ve traveled to Australia a few times on my own now. It helps me to plan things in advance like how I’m getting from the airport to the hotel or wherever and if possible doing things the most comfortable way ie getting a taxi or car pick up. I also think about the little things I might need and put them in hand luggage so I know I’ve got everything to hand. Download films and books etc. You’ll have a great time I bet!

NeedWineNow · 27/12/2022 18:00

I love travelling alone.

Get yourself organised, get to the airport in good time and then wallow in the absolute luxury of being able to wander round the shops, having a bite to eat or a drink and just do what you want without having to worry about anyone else. Then look forward to relaxing on the flight with a film or music and look forward to seeing your daughter at the other end.

Have a great time.

ProceedWithOptimism · 27/12/2022 18:02

In my experience traveling alone is easier; you've nobody to rely on to get you from A to B so you just sort of...do.

When I travel with DH I am a bit of a disaster. When I travel by myself for work I'm much more organised as I know I can't fall back on him.

You'll be great! And being alone on a long flight is SO relaxing.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 27/12/2022 18:09

The one thing I have discovered is that, often for me, the idea of doing something alone has been worse than the reality of doing it. You CAN do this!

This is so true.

It's all booked now so don't over think. You just need to follow each step. It'll be fine.

The first time I flew alone was to NZ. En route to the airport, I realised I had no idea what you do when you get to an airport! Tips - don't rush yourself, take time to get your bearings, read signs, ask for help. It was obvs a long flight so I was a blasé sophisticated world traveller in my head by the time I arrived.

On your long flight maybe reflect on your 'always angry with you' husband and whether he contributes to your anxiety.

You'll be fine 👌

Original poster
windmill4865 · 27/12/2022 18:10

Thank you for all the supportive messages. At 57, I should have manned up by now ! Unfortunately, I was spoilt and cushioned from a very young age. Now they have all died.. I feel a bit unsure of myself and my capabilities. Paradoxically, I brought two children up -[ one of which lives abroad, the other, travels all over the world).. I just never seemed to get it ? always attached, feeling guiltlyabout leaving etc x

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sobeyondthehills · 27/12/2022 18:29

When I travelled alone, the one thing that helped me was asking questions, no matter how stupid to reassure myself.

crew and airport people were all fantastic, but I would imagine a few walked away thinking what the fuck

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 27/12/2022 18:45

You will be fine. I started my lone overseas travels as a very immature 20-year-old and was equally terrified in the run up to departure day (age is immaterial if it is a something you have never tried before and you are not a naturally confident person). My mum told me, correctly, that I would have to go as I had told everyone I was going. Anyway, once I had set off it was fine. Lone travel is easier than you think. Just set off and deal with one bit at a time, check in, go through departures, have a coffee and check the departure boards. It all flows along. Sometimes other passengers chat to you. On the plane with a long haul flight make sure you go for a walk up and down every so often, to avoid blood clots. You will probably find others hanging around near the loos (widest bit) also having a bit of exercise and a chat to each other. Things work out fine, in my experience and just ask people if you can't find your way, for instance. I have been warmed by the kind help I have had from many strangers on my travels. The trip will make you much more confident in your own abilities and worth.

Babyroobs · 27/12/2022 19:03

When my ds2 was born in new Zealand 21 years ago prematurely and I needed my mum there ( she was back in the UK ) she made the journey by herself even though she was terrified and had never been on a flight by herself before. She stuck with a young mum trying to manage 2 toddlers alone and helped her out and in return the young woman made sure she was ok as they were travelling to the same destination. If my mum can do it then anyone can. Good luck .

TimBoothseyes · 27/12/2022 19:06

I flew to Oz alone in 2011...my first ever flight as I'm absolutely terrified of flying. I found it all overwhelming but the ground crew and airport staff were fab and helped me with transfers. Don't be afraid to ask if you are unsure about anything. The flight is long, but take a good book, some headphones and an Ipad and it'll soon go by. Also take a change of clothes in your cabin bag for when you have your stop over. Getting into a fresh set also improved my mood.
Remember why you are going and enjoy yourself when you get there.....the return journey will be far less daunting as you'll know what to expect.

Original poster
windmill4865 · 27/12/2022 19:17

Thank you !.. All of you have given me inspiration x

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