Christmas when you don't have little DCs anymore?

[SaltyPopcornIcecream]

Hi,

So I had dd young, in my early 20's and she's my only child. She's now 16 and I'm in my late 30's, so pretty sure she will remain our only.

I can't help but feel extra sad this time of year though. It's so different when you don't have little ones getting so excited about Santa and just the magic that comes with being a child at Christmas. I feel too young for all that to be over. My dsis still has years ahead with her two and she's a few years older than me.

Anyone relate? Maybe you actually are in the same boat, but love it! I know it has it's perks. Not having to get up at the crack of dawn is certainly one of them!

I guess I just feel sad generally at not having little children anymore. I kind of feel too young for that part of my life to be over, but it's sort of amplified this time of year.

I'm sure I will feel like you in later years but 14 years of the behind the scenes production of FC....I'm tired! Next year we won't have it and I'm excited! No more different papers, hiding hand writing.... snooping around.... secretive...DH always nearly giving the game away...

It will be freedom!

Also looking forward to being away for xmas and doing other things

Ignore the unnecessary question mark in the title 😬

It’s just different - not worse! I love that my older teens come back from uni, the house fills full again. We have lazy lie ins, long brunches which I don’t have to cook! We socialise with friends without the worry of entertaining kids and babysitters. It’s a phase but no, not worse

It’s just different, less tiring and less hustle bustle. We like each other’s company and have had a lovely few days
have you spent time together and apart?

It's better!!

A lot slower paced and much more enjoyable

I guess it is just different. Maybe it's because we're in the in-between stage. I e, she's not really an adult or a child.

It's bitter sweet isn't it. Can you enjoy part of it with your DSis children? Our niece and nephew are still young so we get a dose of the crazy stuff and then enjoy the calmer Christmas with our teen DS at home.

I’m in the same boat.
I’m 38 and kids are 16 and 18.
I do miss the excitement of Christmas that you really only get with young children, that “magic”.
I enjoyed the lie in on Christmas Day and i’m loving having the older one home from uni but I am a little sad that we won’t have that same excitement for Christmas again

I have a 15yo, and she’s as excited about Christmas as the little ones (9 and 10). She helps wrap, shop for presents and stuff stockings (the 2 of us even did this for her friends younger siblings this year!). My 10yo plans to do stockings for me and DH next year: maybe your DD could do that? Being Santa is massively fun and nothing keeps the spirit alive better!
I think one other thing that helps is that all DC (including DD15 and DS17) all still get stockings sneaked into their rooms to wake up to, and everyone still gets a toy to play with (even DH!): lego, board game, switch game, pindaloo etc for some childhood magic.

@Mumsfret1976 We do spend quite a bit of Christmas with my neices and nephews and it's lovely, but in a way it makes it a little harder. I guess because I'm reminded how different our Christmases are.

I love Xmas with adults. No early mornings and no tantrums or silliness. We have a great time.....entertain dh's grandchildren on Boxing Day for a few hours, then back to adults only.

Maybe just remind yourself that this comes to an end for everyone at some point. It is when it does though.

I love Christmas with my young adults.

No getting up before dawn cracks.
No trying to count that they have the same number of presents each - you just get them what they want.
No having to wait until they have gone to bed before putting out the stockings.
No tears when they become a bit overwhelmed.
Going for a Boxing Day walk is nice and relaxing not fraught and frustrating.
They cook the dinner - or at least contribute usefully - be that the big shop, peeling the veg, laying the table, or the washing up afterwards.

I still take myself off to local Churches to join a crib service or Nativity (which I do miss them being in) but now they come with me to a Candlelit Carol service or to have some mulled wine at a Christmas market or whatever we fancy.

There are a lot of advantages. It is just a different phase of life. There are pros and cons to most stages I suppose. You need to focus on enjoying all the pluses.

Nah, I love it. Far more relaxed!

I'm slightly different to you in that I also have an almost 12 year old but DD1 is almost 16. I had her at 23 and then DD2 at 27.

The "magic" when they were little was awesome and it was so fun, but at times it was stressful trying to get all the presents out without them seeing, trying to use different wrapping paper so that they didn't cotton on that the presents didn't come from Santa.

Now they really appreciate where the presents come from. They still like me to put the presents out like "Santa has been" so that they come downstairs to a pile of gifts in the morning and they still want their stockings on the door like they've always been. It's so much more relaxed though, like I'll say to them "right, off to bed now so I can put your pressies out!" And they'll act mock shocked that it's me!

I still do the elf on the shelf as well because they find it hilarious. There's no pressure though because they know it's me. My youngest takes a selfie of herself with the elf doing different things everyday through December. The person who loves it the most though is DH! 😂 I just do it for a laugh.

I have friends that have babies and toddlers. As amazing as they are - I'm so happy to be done with all that.

This thread is making me feel a little better 🙂

Children don't sta Children forever. It is what it is.
Alot of money involved too it dosent come for free all these gifts and expectations.

I did feel a little nostalgic this year now DS is nearly 15 and I can't have anymore children so won't get to experience the "magic" again.
That said, we have had a wonderful few days doing more grown up things and just having a nice time together. It's also nice to have another pair of hands for cooking/cleaning up etc.

I much prefer xmas with older kids! But in general, I never understand when people say they don't want their kids to grow up. I loved having babies and toddlers but I prefer most things the older my kids get.

As with most things in life… use cake as a metaphor!

You’ve had the joy of chocolate cake…. Now you’re getting to sample some red velvet! Both are delicious, you’ll crave both at different times, but that doesn’t mean one is better or worse (other cakes are available too)