Feeling too far away from family

[livingfarfromfamily]

Just looking for some perspective really.

DH and I are both from opposite ends of the country (met when we were both working and living in London).

We both wanted to move out of London and eventually chose where to live based on areas we liked, good schools and commute to work (which was a bigger issue at the time than it is now thanks to increased WFH).

We didn’t want to choose one family over the other so we sort of live in the middle although slightly closer to my family than his (approx 1 hour 45 mins from my family and 3 hours from his).

We were driving to my parents house today and it just felt SO FAR. When we were first looking to move we briefly considered moving to an area which is only an hour train journey from them but ruled it out, I really regret it now.

DH would never want to move now as he loves where we live and thinks it is a good compromise and DD is settled at a good school.

But I keep thinking 1 hour 45 minutes just seems so far. I’m so jealous of people who live close to their families. My parents are early seventies now and I have a disabled sibling, what am I going to do as they all start to need more support 😞

Am I being ridiculous about this (very happy to be nicely told that I am, I think it would make me feel better) or is 1 hour 45 minutes a long way.

Mine are four hours and then a car ferry to the Isle of Wight which is almost another hour. My brothers live in America as they decided to remain there after finishing studying. DH sister lives in Spain as did his Father till he died.

I don’t think they’ll move far, sadly! My sibling is in a town and my parents in a village (but a really small one with no shop, post office, GP etc). I’m hoping my parents will eventually move into the town but so far they’re not keen.

But why are you planning to make things worse for your family but they are not willing to consider making things easier for themselves?

I may not get on with my IL's but I do have to give them this. MIL started looking as soon as FIL retired and they are soon downsizing closer to us, to a town with all the amenities they need plus a direct bus link to us. No, they don't particularly want to move from their lovely rural location (no shop, GP post office, limited bus). FIL thinks it's too early but MIL thinks if they leave it, they'll never do it.

But why are you planning to make things worse for your family but they are not willing to consider making things easier for themselves?

Yes it’s a fair point! Neither set of parents is currently taking any steps to downsize or move closer to amenities. My parents do need to stay relatively close to my sibling but there’s no real reason why DH’s parents couldn’t move, if they wanted to prioritise being closer to us.