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Original poster

Do you believe it's possible to forget how you were proposed to?

20 replies

Unthinkable8 · 25/12/2022 15:57

My dm says she doesn't remember how df (now divorced) proposed to her. This would've been in the early 60s. She's in her 70s now and is fit & healthy & runs around living a normal life. No dementia or anything. How could you possibly forget it? I know I couldn't. What d'you think?

OP posts:
Fentylipgloss · 25/12/2022 15:59

Sadly I do remember, but the man was a bullshitter and didn't mean any of it! We split up 6 months after he declared his want for me to be with him 'forever'.

Wish I could erase the years of lies and abuse.

girlmom21 · 25/12/2022 15:59

Maybe it just wasn't a big deal and he didn't propose in a memorable way, or she found out she was pregnant so was forced to get married rather than it being romantic?

PuttingDownRoots · 25/12/2022 15:59

Maybe it was more of a discussion than a question? Or another event overshadowed it.

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MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 25/12/2022 16:02

When I read your thread title I had to think about mine. It wasn't such a huge thing years ago and of course every minute detail wasn't documented on Instagram.

Changechangychange · 25/12/2022 16:06

I don’t think most proposals are big down-on-one-knee extravaganzas, so fifty years on, the details might be a bit vague.

DH and I discussed getting married and once we had agreed on a venue, we went out and bought rings. The venue then turned out to have a free date three months away, so we went for it. Couldn’t see the point of waiting until the following summer.

35965a · 25/12/2022 16:08

Yes, I can’t remember that much and it was 10 years ago. I know he came in, got down on one knee and asked me but I can’t remember specifically what he said or what my exact reply was. Can’t remember what happened after at all! I usually have a pretty good memory but some ‘big’ things are quite blank.

HirplesWithHaggis · 25/12/2022 16:08

I remember mine in 1984, but we're still happy together. Maybe your mum has chosen to forget?

ThisMustBeMyDream · 25/12/2022 16:12

I got engaged at 16. I can't remember anything at all about it other than the ring which was about £50 from Argos but was all that could be afforded. We were together for 8 years, but never married. I really can't remember the details and I'm only 38 now, so not a life time ago!
I was engaged a 2nd time (marriage ended in divorce) but again I can't really remember much about it. I honestly think I've blanked both out. Neither proposal was a kind one dreams of anyway. I think they probably just asked on a regular day, nothing special surrounding it to help with the memories.

MoreTeaLessCoffee · 25/12/2022 16:15

I can believe it. I can't remember losing my virginity and people find that strange. I know who it was with and I know it was nice but nothing else. So maybe your dm is the same with her proposal!

Liorae · 25/12/2022 16:16

For most adults it's a discussion not a proposal. It takes place over time until you come to an agreement over finances, children etc.

TinselSniffer · 25/12/2022 16:19

We were married in the 90s and I don't remember dh proposing at all, I think we probably just had a discussion and agreed. Don't think he went down on one knee (I'm cringing just imagining it). Proposals were not always the big, showy, performative event they are now.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 25/12/2022 16:22

My husband didn't propose, we had loads of discussions about wanting to get married and one day we decided to book it, but we never had an engagement or proposal really.

Onnabugeisha · 25/12/2022 16:33

Well my DH and I have different recollections so, I think it is quite possible to not accurately remember. There wasn’t a formal proposal per se. We decided to get married and it’s not clear if I suggested it or he suggested it first? So can’t even say if I proposed or he proposed?

The one memory we 100% agree on are the details of our first kiss. ❤️

RayKray · 25/12/2022 16:38

Of course it's possible. I can't remember all sorts of significant things. If it was someone I'd since divorced I wouldn't make much effort to keep it stored in my memory.

MrsMontyD · 25/12/2022 18:15

I don't remember a specific moment with exH like others i think we'd just discussed it and then went to buy a ring. It was still a time when most people got married before living together or at least were engaged and planning a wedding so back then it was a bit of a means to an end in terms of moving out and getting your own home.

With current DFiance it was more of a proposal in that I wasn't expecting to get engaged on that day, as it was something we'd sort of discussed but hadn't decided, still not a grand down on one knee Instagram occasion but it was lovely because he'd thought about it and planned it.

thelobsterquadrille · 25/12/2022 18:23

Of course it's possible.

I don't remember much about my wedding and that was only 4.5 years ago.

user143677433 · 25/12/2022 18:26

Maybe it was while they were having sex, so she doesn’t want to share 😅

OrangePomander · 25/12/2022 18:33

I didn’t have one, getting married was a mutual decision that evolved over time. Neither of us are particularly romantic though!

Squeakybits · 25/12/2022 19:00

I cant remember the day/month/year I got married so yeah I think that's feasible

Lcb123 · 25/12/2022 19:03

I can believe it. Got engaged Jan 2021, and I know where (in our flat) but don’t know the date or what he/I said!

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