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Original poster

How does gift giving work with you and your dh/dp?

29 replies

Foxytail · 25/12/2022 12:07

We’ve always tended not to get each other anything
Mainly historically as we didn’t really had the funds
then when we did we decided it was a bit stressful
and wasteful

but now it seems a bit sad we don’t get each other anything
daft thing is we both treat ourselves to what we need or want regularly
so we are certainly not hard done by at all

but I’m thinking wish list is maybe the way to go ?

OP posts:
Dayandnightreunite · 25/12/2022 12:19

This is the first year we haven't gifted each other anything. Can't be arsed anymore as we have everything and I'm not the most imaginative gift giver! It's been great though no stress, less to recycle and its been nice just watching the kids open their gifts.

Original poster
Foxytail · 25/12/2022 12:39

Oh kinda the opposite to us then !!

OP posts:
Daydre4mer · 25/12/2022 12:42

I do occasionally tell’ dh if there is something fairly expensive that normally I could not justify. If that makes sense.
and same with him really. To be honest it Varys year to year. Some years I have great ideas of what to get him, and other years I have no idea !

if no idea, I tend to arrange something like a night away in a hotel.

Hbh17 · 25/12/2022 12:49

We tend to go for arranging events/activities later in the year - ie something to do, rather than lots of "stuff". So he has arranged for us to go to a gin-making course, and I have arranged to go and hear Grayson Perry on his live tour next year.
In the past (depending on how rich we are feeling!) it has been night(s) at a good hotel, tickets for theatre or sports events etc.
Plus chocolate, socks, books obviously!

Original poster
Foxytail · 25/12/2022 12:50

These are all the things we do as part of regular life
like we have tickets for about nearly 10 things this year already

OP posts:
MusicstillonMTV · 25/12/2022 12:51

I don't like the idea of gift lists - might as well just buy it myself - I like surprises but I also don't want more "stuff" so DH and I go for stockings, a budget of around £100 for small things, mainly consumables, this year I got nice chocolates, truffle mayonnaise that kind of thing

Giggorata · 25/12/2022 12:51

I have one of those really difficult to buy for DHs, so I generally do something mundane but appreciated, like new tyres, van repairs, posh boots, etc.

He (claims that) he hasn't a clue about me, despite emailed websites, hints, lists and me outright saying, I want one of those, please”
Over the years, his surprises have been more like horrible shocks, although not mainstream, I'll grant him that. But it's kind of worse when he really tries…
So we generally have a nice pre Christmas day out, a posh lunch and then go round the shops, including charity shops, to see what I want.
It then goes under the tree. That way, I get something I actually want. 🙂

Original poster
Foxytail · 25/12/2022 12:59

Omg “his surprises have been more like horrible shocks” that actually made me lol they way you described that !!

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 25/12/2022 13:06

We are actually quite boring... we each have a list of hobby or useful things we would like, and at birthdays/Christmas we either order something ourselves if its very specific, or the other person does, from our joint bank account which is then wrapped by the other person. Then the children chose something small as well.

Consequently this year I have a coffee machine and a dr who hoody, and DH has some Warhammer stuff, the book he wanted and a couple of tshirts.

RedRosie · 25/12/2022 13:12

We don't bother for Christmas Day or birthdays. But we do things all the time across the year, opera/theatre tickets, nice meals, weekends away etc. We have enough stuff.

Ijuststoodonlego · 25/12/2022 13:15

Dayandnightreunite · 25/12/2022 12:19

This is the first year we haven't gifted each other anything. Can't be arsed anymore as we have everything and I'm not the most imaginative gift giver! It's been great though no stress, less to recycle and its been nice just watching the kids open their gifts.

We have done the same.

user1471556818 · 25/12/2022 13:15

We have done a few different things in the past set general budget which has varied over the yrs as money has allowed
One of the best in husbands opinion was £10 limit and charity stuff welcomed ,I thought it was a bit harder getting mens gifts tbh
Couple of yrs have booked a weekend away instead of gifts
Surprise hit for me this Yr was a replacement tea pot as he noticed current one had a crack
We never do household type gifts but I was impressed he had noticed and its a bright cheerful pot that I love

Soccermumamir · 25/12/2022 13:16

Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. We didn't bother this year because neither if us need anything. We'll be going out in the sales instead and buying what we actually want 😊

Parker231 · 25/12/2022 13:18

I don’t like gift lists - you should know each other well enough to know what they would like. DH and I decided when we got married (26 years ago) that we wouldn’t buy for each other but would go on a special holiday which we would enjoy together - we’re in Australia - better than any physical present. Neither of us need or want more stuff

caringcarer · 25/12/2022 13:18

I ask DH what he wants and he tells me something. He does same with me. I buy bits for his stocking and he buys bits for mine.

HassallGreen · 25/12/2022 13:19

RedRosie · 25/12/2022 13:12

We don't bother for Christmas Day or birthdays. But we do things all the time across the year, opera/theatre tickets, nice meals, weekends away etc. We have enough stuff.

Exactly this, we have a great life, no need for extra pressure in arbitrary days. He always cooks for me on my birthday though.

Lottapianos · 25/12/2022 13:21

We're both winter birthdays so we do birthday pressies but haven't done Christmas presents for years. We're going to see a stage show on NYE so that's a joint thing to enjoy together, but not a present as such

TheBirdintheCave · 25/12/2022 13:21

We have a £50 budget for each other and write a list of things we would like but are too expensive to justify buying for ourselves on a normal occasion.

This year I got my husband a special painting tray and he got my a stackable jewellery box :)

I hate surprises so this works well for us.

Dilbertian · 25/12/2022 13:22

For me, part of the joy of gifts from dh is the knowledge that he has spent time thinking about me. For Hannuka he gave me earrings in a style I had mentioned that I liked. Today in my stocking I found something he had spotted me playing with in a shop. That tells me he paid attention to me. That's what I like, not some random Gift For Her. It doesn't need to be expensive. It literally is the thought that counts. The thoughts that we think about each other.

(He does sometimes get it badly wrong though!)

Ohnotheydidnt · 25/12/2022 13:26

Historically, we have either skipped gift giving completely or kept the budget minimal but recently we've decided we LOVE choosing presents, surprising each other and the anticipation the night before.

Next year we are saving more each month so we can afford to spoil each other a bit more. We get so much joy from it.

😊

Ohnotheydidnt · 25/12/2022 13:27

Dilbertian · 25/12/2022 13:22

For me, part of the joy of gifts from dh is the knowledge that he has spent time thinking about me. For Hannuka he gave me earrings in a style I had mentioned that I liked. Today in my stocking I found something he had spotted me playing with in a shop. That tells me he paid attention to me. That's what I like, not some random Gift For Her. It doesn't need to be expensive. It literally is the thought that counts. The thoughts that we think about each other.

(He does sometimes get it badly wrong though!)

Yes exactly this. I love that "cherished / he knows me" feeling!

mintbiscuit · 25/12/2022 13:34

Going against the grain here but I think gift lists work if you give a wide range of ideas at different price points. DH picks a few so I never really know what I’ll get on the day. It’s still a surprise!

I’ve started doing it for oldest DS now as he is pants when it comes to choosing presents.

Sugarfree23 · 25/12/2022 13:34

I must confess DH is better at doing gifts than me. I'm a very boring gift giver 'tell me what you want and Ill get it' unless I'm buying smallish stuff that are really just fillers (and I won't be too upset if it's not your taste)

Sugarfree23 · 25/12/2022 13:35

I should add
But we do buy gifts, although I think we should set a limit on what we spend. Unless we want a Big ticket item

JadeSeahorse · 25/12/2022 13:47

We haven't bothered for years and we're quite happy with that.

However, we've spent well over £1000 in the past week replacing things in the house which have unexpectedly had a Christian burial. 🤣