How to explain I don’t want alcohol without being rude?

[ohmygoditshappening]

Staying at a relative’s for Christmas .

I’m on valium - 2mg 3x a day - for CPTSD, MH team and GP said they strongly recommended it while away from home - and sedating antidepressant, and GP has strongly advised I don’t drink. I don’t drink much anyway, I don’t like alcohol that much and I don’t like the effect it has on me at all - it hits me like a ton of bricks, so I’m quite happy on lemonade.

Last night there was talk of a cocktail bar, gin, wine, liqueurs, all sorts .

IF I was in my own home with trusted friends, I’d probably have a very small glass - or tbh at home I wouldn’t be on valium - but I’m 200 miles from home, don’t know family that well and I don’t want to risk a Bridesmaids ‘reaaaady to paaaarty’ style episode !!

Can I just say I don’t want a glass without looking rude? It’s not even like I’m driving so can’t use that excuse .

I remember a thread a few days ago about someone not wanting to announce a pregnancy and wasnt sure what to say and someone else posted that she would have to tell people as 'it would be obvious you're not drinking'

I was flabbergasted, do people really clock that people are drinking alcohol or not and how much and when they are and when they're not??

Bizarre.

So many people do not drink alcohol now. I cannot image anyone questioning you unless a lady in waiting.

Why is this so hard? It's easy. No, please could I have a lemonade, I'm on medication.
Simples.

Who the fuck thinks it's "rude" to refuse alcohol? If someone you know thinks it's rude they are just incredibly ignorant and you can safely disregard their opinion.

Just tell them no, you can't have any alcohol due to medication you're on. No further info needed. I can't drink at all due to migraines, I tried 35ml of baileys a couple of weeks ago, thinking maybe I could cope with that small amount... I can't, I had a low level migraine within an hour & all the next day. So apparently I'm completely teetotal now. DH perked up though, as he gets to drink the whole bottle!

Loads of people don’t drink alcohol, for whatever reason and none. I wouldn’t say it’s because of medication. That implies that you need to give a reason, and you don’t. I don’t drink at all and I never give the reason. If people ask what I’d like to drink, I just say water or a soft drink.

It's not rude to say no alcohol for me thanks.
It's rude to say fuck off with that shit I want a soft drink.

Ooh I like that... maybe the OP needs to have some slightly sharp responses ready in case people are pushy or unacceptably nosy regarding her reasons why she doesn't drink. TBH I agree there's no reason why she should give any reason at all, simply that she doesn't want any alcohol should be sufficient. But if people are going to be rude, either by pushing after the OP has said no, or by being nosy, or by trying to trick the OP into drinking, I (personally) wouldn't hesitate in being really blunt & dropping any social niceties... why should the OP remain polite if other people CBA to.

I'd say the same about similar situations TBH - people touching a baby bump, asking about when you're going to have a baby/another baby, if/where you work/don't work & why... none of their business. You aren't public property.

OP doesnt need any 'sharp' responses at all, she just says no thank you.

If you go for cocktails just order a mocktail.

If you don;t want to draw attention to not drinking, ask for a glass of water or soft drink because you are thirsty and then ask for a glass of wine (choose one you don't much like) and just don't drink it.

I just say "just a soft drink thanks" with a big smile 🙂

I can't drink for medical reasons, but don't feel the need to explain myself. I just say no thanks, I don't drink, could I have xx please. Nobody has ever pursued it further.

Ah, if only simply saying no was accepted!

”Aren’t you drinking?! Why not?!!”
”Go just one, have one, go on treat yourself.”
“Are you pregnant hahaha oh wow are you though?”
“Oh yoh just haven’t had good wine, THIS wine is amazing.”
”Don’t be boring.”

OP what works best is, irritatingly, being sneaky and getting non-alcoholic drinks for yourself that look alcoholic.

A smile and no thank you repeated is enough

Also asking for what you do want rather than just emphasising 'soft drinks', so I like a mixture of good tonic waters, Fentimans for example, mixed with fruit juices or sparkling water and other flavourings like berries and pepper/spices etc, give them a job to do. Plenty of ice and slices.

Or say ' you sound like a drug pusher!!'

I go on and off alcohol depending on how I feel so sometimes I drink sometimes I dont.

Most people won’t ask why if you say you don’t drink. If they do, you can always go with a very vague answer like ´it doesn’t agree with me anymore’.
Then talk about soft drinks you like if they seem to be wanting to continue that line of conversation.