ADHD or menopause

[Toddlerone]

I have had this lingering thought for some time, that I might have ADHD, the inattentive type. Problem is, I am also peri menopausal, and I know that many of the cognitive challenges overlap. However, going back to my past history and what I remember from primary, secondary and university, and other education courses I have done as an adult, ADHD still fits.

I am debating whether to go for diagnosis or not and I'd be grateful if I could hear from other women who have been diagnosed as adults. I will do this privately.

The way this is affecting me currently is mostly to do with my performance at work. I literally cannot remember anything, I lose my train of thought mid sentence, I have had to simplify my life to a minimum as I can't cope with even a phonecall, and my DH carries the weight of the life admin, he always has.

I have been on HRT for 2 years now but this has not helped my brain. Or maybe my brain would be worse if I wasn't on HRT, I don't know. The job I have involves continuous education, and I struggle to even read books. It is intense client facing, and I don't remember anything they've told me, even a few seconds ago. I haven't read a whole book for decades.

My whole life I have felt my brain was simply of a 'lesser quality' to others, and just accepted it. It's only now that I am 52 that I am wondering if there's been something else getting in the way. I am not entirely sure what a diagnosis will give me, maybe just understanding and validation, but I guess potentially also medication as I feel I am too young to just give up on my brain like this.

I would love to hear from other middle aged women who have been on this journey.

There was a really good feature on ADHD on Womens’ Hour about ADHD this week, you should check it out. It suggested that there are long wait times for assessments so it’s great that you have the option to seek a private diagnosis. All the best.

That doesn't sound like ADHD. Have you thought a out going to the GP re short term memory loss?

ADHD you will have always had. So if your symptoms are brand new it’s less likely.
However if they are not, or are worse then it’s more likely. Additude has some good questionnaires.

I could have written your post. Got an assessment for ADHD and doc said absolutely not. Cue further rumination and confusion and long story short, I'm dyslexic.

I paid for an assessment privately and yep. There is a large disparity between my highest scores and lowest, with processing and reading comprehension much slower than my verbal or perceptual reasoning!

I'm very pleased to have the diagnosis but have to say I've struggled a bit. Been a long time coming. I've a degree but didn't get a good grade, I'm rubbish at very structured work like admin; brain doesn't like it.

There are a lot of overlapping symptoms, if you're inclined you could refer to Additude, it's a site with a lot of information ADHD/Dyslexia.

Good luck

I went to gp at 50 to discuss HRT and came away with HRT and a referral for adhd assessment. GP said this is when a lot of adult women get diagnosed. Menopause on top of Adhd means our usual coping strategies just aren't enough any more so the ahdh becomes even more obvious and negatively affects us more.

I've been waiting 3.5 years on NHS. But if you go private there may be issues getting any meds on NHS prescription if that's an area you'd consider. In some areas you need to have the nhs assessment done too if you want an nhs prescription. You can ask gp about Patient Choice which I believe is kinda half and half.

A lot of symptoms were always there when I think back, only I always thought I was lazy and dumb. Only heard about adhd a few years ago, and only about a year ago it started to make sense in relation to what I was experiencing, as well as my past history.

@Toddlerone have you looked into an assessment?
Like @Forzatesoro your post could have been written about me. I am a PG student very nearly at the end and struggling daily with both study and work. I will have to apply for an extension to my essay due this week, pleading menopause brain!
I have just had my HRT meds changed, as they did not affect how I was feeling or coping.
Also diagnosed as dyslexic recently, which doesn't feel like the correct diagnosis but maybe alongside the menopause, it does make sense. If only I could process any of the information that I have read!

I was diagnosed with ADHD nearly two years ago at 46 and also started HRT a year ago, so it could be both.
Medication has made a huge difference to by adhd symptoms and, more importantly, the diagnosis has significantly helped my mental health as I can understand more about what I find difficult and why I can’t do certain things. I no longer see myself as ‘lazy’ or lacking.

There are other things that can effect brain function - low b12 for a start.

Hi @Toddlerone,
Your post really resonated with me—it could’ve been my own story a few years ago! I was diagnosed with ADHD at 37 after years of feeling like my brain just wasn’t quite “wired right.” Like you, I used to think I was just lazy or couldn’t apply myself. The diagnosis didn’t magically fix everything, but it was a turning point.

One thing that stood out for me was how symptoms seemed to get worse during perimenopause. HRT helped me with some physical symptoms, but it didn’t touch the cognitive fog or the constant mental “white noise.” That’s what pushed me to seek an ADHD assessment. The overlap between ADHD and menopause is real, but for me, looking at my lifelong patterns (forgetting everything, zoning out mid-sentence, struggling with focus) helped confirm it wasn’t just menopause.

If you’re leaning toward getting assessed, I’d highly recommend looking into private options if that’s something you can manage. I had a positive experience with Attention to Health, who offer private ADHD assessments online. The process was straightforward, and for me, just having an answer was so validating.

Medication and understanding my brain better have been game changers. I still lose my train of thought (multiple times a day, tbh), but I’ve found strategies that help—like writing everything down immediately and breaking work into smaller chunks.

It’s a big step to even consider a diagnosis, so you’re already making progress. If you do decide to move forward, I hope it brings the clarity and tools you’re looking for. You’re definitely not alone in this!

Claire