Anyone else hate unasked for hugs?

[Babysharkdoodoodood]

Saying goodbye at work for the Xmas and one of my managers (male) came over and gave me a hug, whilst I did the constipated penguin dance. 'Don't do hugs then?' he says. Gave me a brilliant present though.

Later in the pub, I decided to shoot off after a quick half, as they were deciding the order of the pub crawl (no thanks). Went to the bar to say my goodbyes and again, another (male) colleague went in for the hug and I didn't move fast enough so more penguin dancing.

My brother does it as well. Suddenly lunges for a hug out of the blue, then knuckles my head and generally takes the mickey.

I do hugs when I know it's going to be reciprocated and when it's expected. I just hate the sudden lunge and polar bear grips when I barely know the person (except brother, but he's a wind up merchant).

I've never had it with other women either. So weird.

Or maybe I'm just a grumpy menopausal, middle aged misery?

🙋🏼‍♀️ I do too.

I struggle not to scream GET THE FUCK OFF ME. I believe my body language screams it though 😂

You’re grumpy menopausal etc

I've never enjoyed hugs. For a long time people used to tease me by hugging me, until a counsellor helped me find the words to tell them to fuck right off because it's not funny.

Hugs on my own terms are acceptable, as are hugs from my children (unless I'm feeling touched out).

I lost my husband nearly 16 years ago, I take hugs where I can get them now! ;-)
My kids are good huggers though.

I'm far from menopausal but also dislike when people go in for a hug assuming it's fine and that everyone likes hugs

I like a good hug having been brought up in an unemotional artic cold family. Making up for the affection I missed out on.

But someone insisting on contact when your body language screaming the opposite is very invasive and I don't blame you for objecting.

Just survived a visit to my partner's elderly parents where both insisted on a full kissing on mouth welcome. Now that was a bit 😬

I've never been a hugger (apart from close family and my DC of course). So even though I'm now grumpy, forties and generally have a lower tolerance, it's not just down to that!

It's the social huggers at events, works do's and last day before Christmas I hate. I used to feel awkward and comply when I was younger but now I just say no thanks.

I'm not remotely arsed who doesn't like it and pissed up randoms who go in for a hug are side stepped and told no. I have a very clear 'fuck off' face which serves me well.

I don't accept them!

You're being unreasonable expecting people to read your body language without actually vocalising what you want. It's a normal action in our society and you are unusual in your dislike of it, so you ought to find a polite way to let people know that. Don't be angry at people for not being mind readers. By all means get annoyed if they push ahead with the hug after you've refused but expecting a stern stare to the trick is rather useless.

Because she doesn’t like people randomly grabbing her?

Use your common sense and don’t try grabbing and hugging women you work with. Or at least ask ‘are you a hugger or not really?’

I stopped attending all social events at one charity I volunteer for because of the enforced hugs from another volunteer. I loathe it from her. I'm not anti hug in general, but hate it when people wont take no for an answer

Hugging is randomly grabbing is it 🙄 I’ve heard it all on here now

I hug DH if either of us offer. I hug DD if she wants. Same with DM. Otherwise I adopt some sort of Japanese fighting stance to discourage hugging.

Yeah. Hugging someone you don’t have a close relationship with (a colleague) who is obviously not reciprocating this, is randomly grabbing.

Well, when you're not expecting it and you don't even have time for a stern glare, how do they know? Literally hugged out of nowhere before I had time to say ' I don't t do hugs'

Hence the constipated penguin dance as I tried to get out of it without launching myself backwards across the room. And I don't think my boss would appreciate being told to fuck off either. He knows now though.

Was just thinking I need a "Not a hugger" badge, if there is such a thing

Sometimes I need a hug but there is no one to give me one. (My teens are not hugging people).

Having said that I am not keen on spontaneous hugs from acquaintances.

I don’t like hugs at all... never have and I doubt I never will.

I make badges, and have made similar for friends. Very popular too.

Hugs are a form of physical contact, and consent should be sought before anyone subjects you to it. It is basic manners.

A male colleague, especially the boss, would make me very uncomfortable. To then make a joke about your discomfort??? It's not 1980. Under the guise of being friendly, having drinks, it's Christmas... again, creepy. Beware.

I've been watching some dine with me recently. The awkwardness of some greetings is hilarious, and when did 2 kisses become a thing in England? I only hug a few people I know. But how do you avoid a stranger trying to touch you without coming across as the crazy one

I think the trick is to get in their first with a ‘hi’ and hand outstretched for a handshake/in a wave. Make it clear that you want x. And sometimes I think you do have to be a tiny bit ‘rude’ and say ‘oh no thanks, I’m not a hugger really.’

@Kanaloa I actually did this with a man recently. Put my hand out to shake his as I didn't want him to hug me really and he actually said no we wasn't accepting a handshake and forced a hug. I can't cope sometimes

Someone did this a few weeks ago. She was standing behind me and hugged me from behind. I'd never met her before.