Woman charges her children for Xmas dinner

[KindergartenKop]

www.theguardian.com/business/2022/dec/23/grandmother-charges-her-family-180-for-their-christmas-dinner

Controversial! I feel like her whole family have expected her to produce and pay for the whole spread and she's had enough of that shit.

I find it sad that her kids seemingly have never offered to help out with the costs.

What a good idea!
A full spread for Christmas costs a fortune, everyone there should be contributing.

I'm shocked there seems to be some outrage over this! It's always been the case in my family that we all contribute be it financially or preparing something to the main Christmas meal. It would be strange not to.

Sounds fair to me, why should she pay for everything?

They should have already offered to chip in or do a share of the shopping. I wouldn't charge my adult kids if I could afford not to, but I know they'd bring nice drink, cheeses etc.

She's a TA as well, she's not earning the big bucks!

I think I would prefer everyone to bring something instead.
ie dessert; prepared vegetables; canapes, etc.
I would not wish to charge my family, but then I intend Christmas to be elsewhere next year; not because of the cost, or the cooking, but all the tidying up I have to do.

Sounds perfectly fair. In my family, everyone provides a course, which works well for us.

I don’t get the outrage or why this is newsworthy tbh. Christmas food costs a fortune + extras re drink/decorations etc…

shes not ‘charging them’ she’s asking for a contribution which they should offer anyway.

my grandmother paid for the Turkey’s that my mother cooked throughout my childhood, it’s about chipping in and being grateful for the feast you aren’t having to cook yourself surely?

To me it’s pleasanter to have everyone provide specific things, but of course she should charge - it can be very expensive

She said she tried that any everybody just brought sausage rolls, and she was eating them up until June.

Seems perfectly reasonable to me, and I don’t know why this is newsworthy or controversial beyond the Guardian having a slow news day.

We do similar, we only have one person who has a place big enough to house us, they tend to do the bulk of the cooking, its unfair they also have to shoulder the cost as well

I feel so sorry for her that she's had to ask for financial help and then been publicly displayed and mocked like this. Her family are total arseholes.

I wouldn't charge, but my grown up dc pay for other stuff over Christmas, dd1 is paying for dinner out on Xmas Eve, ds is bringing us all out New Year's Eve.

It's fair enough as long as they're not emotionally blackmailed into going.

I think a lot of us probably know what it's like to have a lot of pressure to attend things which end up costing you a lot of money and aren't necessarily what you'd choose to do if it was genuinely a completely free choice...

Yes they should it's not cheap!

Mind you she only charges a maximum of £15 down to £2.50 for the toddlers. Certainly less than paying for a meal out!

I mean to be honest I get it
She's a TA they earn rubbish money and it costs a fortune
I'm hosting this year and it's not cheap at all.
My sister is bringing stuff tho and my brother and his partner have given me money and are bringing booze so we're all chipping in even my elderly auntie who is 89 she's making a trifle and some mince pies

She is just right! I can't believe they all
just rock up with their two arms the same length. Or worse, bring sausage rolls/potatoes she doesn't need. We're going to my parents this year. We are making and bringing starters and desserts and we'll bring a nice wine too! wouldn't dream of not contributing. It's not even just the cost, it's all the prep and stress too

I felt like sending out a bill myself this morning after DH told me what the bill was at the butcher's 🤦‍♀️

That’s the important thing here. I don’t know how anyone could accept an expensive meal and all the extras and not think of contributing especially if they knew the host wasn’t well off. And this is their mum! My mum is a horrible woman, but if I was fortunate enough to have a lovely mum that wanted everyone together at Xmas, but I knew it was a struggle financially, I can’t imagine having any issue with this.

More shame on the “kids” for thinking she is being mean.

Another who can't see the issue with this.
Ideally, everyone would have said "let's all club together", but, as they haven't, then working out a sort of 'per head cost' sounds like a pretty sensible way to go.

We're fortunate in that our finances can stand inviting adult dc to Christmas, but if I were in a position where I couldn't, I'd not hesitate to say "I'd love to get together this year, and am prepared to have you all here, but we need to share the costs"

We’re having 17 people for Xmas dinner, the older relatives have offered some money towards it ( about £100). We’ve accepted because it’s just all costing so much. It would cost them far more to eat out in a pub for Xmas dinner and we do a good spread.

I have mixed feelings about this, for me if you invite people round you should foot the bill. But most people should and will offer to bring a bottle of wine or dessert.

For me where it can go wrong is if she isn’t a great cook. I would feel cheated paying for a meal I think I could cook better. And what if you like a certain meat or something else, I would rather stay at home and cook my own food than pay for something I wasn’t happy with.