Too “stoic”

[LookAtThatCritter]

I work remotely and work for an agency that matches me with clients based on experience & personality matches. I do business planning, accounting etc. I started with a new client recently - I’ve had literally ONE 1 hour meeting with her which seemed to go great. However, I’ve seen an email that she sent to the agency and it’s awful. I take bad feedback well BUT it’s so personal that I’ve been really upset by it.

She calls me stoic 3 times. Says she thinks I’m suffering from flatlining (zero facial expression - apparently it’s an actual medical issue). I’m calm, calculated, stoic and efficient to an extreme that makes her uncomfortable. Extremely lowered in my compassion. Those are all things she said. And she got all this from a one hour zoom meeting in which the main purpose was to understand the business, set goals and set me up with the tools to be able to get going.

We smiled, talked, discussed some things about our personal lives as well, it wasn’t just business. I’ve never had negative feedback about how I come across as a person, usually people say I’m friendly, likeable, even funny depending on the day haha. Not sure how I’m going to handle the next video call or if I should request a switch so she can go to someone different!

brb while I pour some wine and watch some cheesy Christmas movies to cheer me up!!

This seems like the strangest feedback ever, especially after a one hour meeting. She sounds a little unstable to me. You're obviously not a good match, so I think trying to continue to work together wouldn't be productive.

Try not to take it personally- I was recently hauled into my boss's office after a temp colleague complained about me and I was told "The trouble with you Lynette, is you're very efficient and like to get things done" It did hurt, until I told DH who laughed his socks off and pointed out people are supposed to be efficient at work. One persons perception of you isn't necessarily everyone's.

I would request a switch, don't put yourself through further analysis by her. She sounds quite odd, especially as your job would be business planning and accounting, rather than 1970s children's TV presenter!

She's a bloody loony and you know it OP

I know how things like this can really unsettle you in business so please don't ponder it too much. Request she changes to someone else! She sounds like a nightmare tbh

Sounds like a potential nightmare.
Was English not her first language? The use of the word stoic in this context is weird as is immediately diagnosing a medical condition (wtf?!!). I can’t imagine getting that sort of feedback after an hour introductory session.

I would definitely calmly reject the contract.

She doesn't even understand what stoic means 🙄

Dump and run. She's got nightmare written all over her.

The feedback is about her and not you.

I recently received a complaint at work, which boiled down to "the look I have on my face". Despite greeting this individual brightly and trying to look interested and engaged has somehow been interpreted as "aggressive"! When the mismatch is this extreme you just have to walk away.

I got canned from a temp job for tutting (apparently).

Bin the job, OP. This one likes to indulge in amateur character and personality analysis and she'll always be finding fault. Mostly with you and the way you do the job.

I’m quite stoical - sometimes it’s good, sometimes it doesn’t serve me well. I aim to be a stoic, in the philosophical sense, as they’ve got it nailed.
id agree with others and indicate to your manager that this isn’t a pairing that will work for either side.
i would be bothered if I’d shared stuff about home and myself and got this sort of feedback - surely you only go there with people you ‘click with’ at work. I wouldn’t feel able to trust her based on that alone tbh.
Trust your gut and move on from this client.
and have tissues ready for the unfortunate colleague who takes her on.

What's 'lowered in compassion' supposed to mean? 🙄

This says so much more about her than it says about you.

Definitely switch.

I would definitely go back to the agency and say you were surprised by the feedback (and particularly surprised that she made all those judgements based on a one hour introductory zoom meeting) but given that is how she feels it's clear that there is a significant mismatch and you won't work well together, so she should be assigned to someone else.

Honestly don't give it another thought, some people are just weird and love to feel like they 'know people'

Basically she’s worried that you’re so efficient and effective that you will show her up as incompetent. Her only tactic is to make it look like you’re wrong for not being an emotional sharer (these people drive me up the wall at work) so I would run a mile!