Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Trigger warning !! Uncomfortable with flatmate

4 replies

refuge123 · 22/12/2022 22:27

I fled abuse to a womens shelter. This is my first time sharing accomodation with people I havent got to know first. I'm in a flat with two other women and we have our own lockable bedrooms. There are two bathrooms that we share.
I have been respectful, I have not asked anyone about their personal life, I have cleaned kitchenware immediately after use. I clean the areas that I use. I buy and eat only my own food using my emergency care grant which the other women got as well and I walk to the shop or get it delivered.
I am uncomfortable with a particular person.
Almost imediately upon entering they started speaking about their shocking past at length before any other discussion.
They recently were released from hospital after a suicide attempt and they regularly overdose in attempts.
They have been slurring their words and stumbling as if on drugs.
They are taking advantage of me by asking for my food and drink instead of buying their own, knowing that I'm too polite to say no.
They walk around with their belt undone and belly hanging out.
They leave the bathroom door open and unlocked when using it.
They dont clean the bathroom after using it and leave hair and other residue for me to clean. There are loads of empty toilet rolls on the window sill and the sink and taps are disgusting. The other flatmate is the same.
The workers are off until a week into january. It's my understanding I can only contact them for an emergency until then. I'm unsure if this counts or if theres another flat available for me to move into. I have nowhere else to go.

OP posts:
motheroreily · 22/12/2022 22:54

What would you like the workers to do? Would you like to move flats? It's always difficult sharing with other people.

NewBootsAndRanty · 22/12/2022 22:56

You can say no to giving her food and drink without being impolite.

Bemyclementine · 22/12/2022 23:01

People deal differently with trauma. Sone find it helpful to share. The lack of cleaning sounds annoying but it's the perils of sharing. Just dobt give her food if you're sure she can buy it herself. Moving flats may not be possible and may not even help, you may find worse problems

motheroreily · 22/12/2022 23:05

Bemyclementine · 22/12/2022 23:01

People deal differently with trauma. Sone find it helpful to share. The lack of cleaning sounds annoying but it's the perils of sharing. Just dobt give her food if you're sure she can buy it herself. Moving flats may not be possible and may not even help, you may find worse problems

I agree. It sounds like you are somewhere safe. Focus on that.

You can definitely be assertive and politely say you won't give food.

The toilet rolls and hair are annoying. But sharing is hard because everyone has different standards and things they find unacceptable.

Do you have any emotional support?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page