Name change because I'm embarrassed

[Bellabon]

Not sure why I'm posting really, I guess because I have nobody to say it to but feel like I need to just offload.
DC is 1yr. I suffered with very bad PND for which I sought help and have had therapy and am still on medication. Whilst I am much better in this regard, I feel that I put my everything into being DC's mum (as it should be) so much so that I neglect myself as a person. I seem to just struggle with everything and get overwhelmed by almost everything so that I seem to be able to little else but be his mum. Every ounce of my energy goes into being the best mum I can be to DC, I feel that I am just an empty shell of a person left. I make sure to feed my son nutritious meals but yet I eat junk myself, I make sure my son is bathed and clean clothes daily but neglect my own self-care sometimes. I don't have any friends who are mums because I never had the confidence to go to any baby groups whilst I was suffering with PND. I just feel very lost. Again I'm not sure why I am posting, as I am aware that it is only me who can change this but I guess I was just wondering if there were any words of wisdom from anyone who has felt the same in the past and managed to take better care of themselves as well as their child.

First of all, go easy on yourself. It's hard work being a mum.
Does your DH help out? Can he take dc while you have some time to yourself? Even if it's just a bath and some time to pamper yourself.
It's not too late to join some groups, have a look what's available in your area.

DH helps as much as he can when he's not at work (he works very long hours and sometimes not back before DC is in bed). Yes I think my New Years goal should be to work up the confidence to go to a group. I think even having another parent to talk to would be helpful

Crackers is right being a mum is very hard work!
And finding time for self care can feel impossible. Do you have family or friends near by who would take your DC for an evening so you and DH can have a date night? Or can DH give you a day a week or a fortnight just to go do something just for you? Or even better help you clean the house one day then take DC out the next so you can just be in your own space alone. It's very underrated.
There will be local mums groups on Facebook or peanut that you can chat to local mums and see about meeting up 1 to 1 if that seems easier for you then going to groups? Go to soft play or for a walk with your DC. Honestly think mum friends are what kept me sane when I struggled after having my second child and you will find lots of mums are desperate for more friends.

DH has some annual leave for Christmas soon so I'm sure he would be happy to take DC out for the day whilst I have some time to myself.
I think I have too high expectations of what I should be able to do & see it as a failure that I seem to struggle so much

I recognise myself in this. The need to be a super Mum.