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Jealousy of friend emigrating

174 replies

Bookridden · 22/12/2022 19:04

A friend is emigrating to Sydney, Australia in January. I'm pretty envious of her chance for a fresh start, life on the beach, apparently amazing standard of living etc etc. I really want to give my head a wobble and stop feeling jealous. Please point out some reasons why life in the UK might be better. (Should say that I hate the heat, am fat and menopausal, love culture and city life so probably am better suited to UK life. Aren't I? AREN'T I???)

Hit me with your best tips for any of the following:
Loving life in the UK
Not thinking life in Oz is perfect
Not feeling really dull in comparison with her jetsetter lifestyle

Thank you.

OP posts:
Minimalme · 22/12/2022 19:11

You can holiday in Australia, have the sun, sea and sand lifestyle then come back and enjoy culture and our beautiful lush landscape.

No one will say "Ah yeah" at you. Ever.

Australia has a lot of barefooted men. People's feet give me the ick, especially hairy toes. British men mainly wear closed toe shoes.

Your friend will age quicker because of sun damage.

Summers are almost intolerable because of global warming and bush fires rage out of control for weeks, covering surrounding area areas in a thick fog.

British people die in the strong currents because they only have experienced our weedy waters and many beaches are inaccessible because of lethal jelly fish.

SameToo · 22/12/2022 19:11

Life in Oz deffo isn’t perfect. Pay for health care, shit maternity pay, everything costs more im astounded how much my sisters mortgage is. From my experience the gender roles seem stuck in the past. I found that quite surprising but that is limited to the people I know there.

Reugny · 22/12/2022 19:13

Sydney is bloody expensive.

And they have a massive housing problem.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

BabychamBubbles · 22/12/2022 19:13

I moved abroad a few years back now. I lived in Florida then New York. I was soooo excited to go, but the novelty wore off. I missed home, British TV (overseas TV is weird!) my friends, British humour, Seasons (Florida was obv boiling and I just sweat constantly). Being on holiday somewhere is an entirely different ball game to living there. Sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for. I now live back in the UK and wouldn't swap it ever again!

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 22/12/2022 19:13

Have you ever been to Australia? I ask because I often hear people talk of wanting to emigrate there, when they've never even visited.

Reugny · 22/12/2022 19:15

Oh and all the insects, spiders and snakes want to kill you.

Even the ones that aren't poisonous act like they want to kill you.

millypeggyandpandora · 22/12/2022 19:16

Also, I lived in Oz for a couple of years. It is so hard to make long lasting friends, Australians ( or maybe just Sydney siders) are friendly enough but hard to get to know.
You end up with just English friends or a bit lonely

Bookridden · 22/12/2022 19:18

Ah, these responses are so helpful. I need to give my head a wobble. My friend is really excited (I don't want to rain on her parade), and she's back from a recent trip to Sydney and she was gushing about how vastly superior it was in everyway to the UK and how she couldn't wait to leave. I understand this as life is pretty shit for a lot of people, but I find it quite hard to listen to as I have family commitments that would make such a move impossible.

OP posts:
PacificallyRequested · 22/12/2022 19:18

I used to live in Australia. I came home because I missed my family and friends. And Jaffa cakes.

Fifthtimelucky · 22/12/2022 19:18

The main thing that would put me off Australia is the number and variety of venomous snakes!

Plantsaregreen · 22/12/2022 19:22

I always thought it was my life long dream to move to Sydney. I went for two years and was very very pleased to come home again! I won’t go into why, but I can assure you the grass is not always greener and I have a much better quality of life living by the coast in the south England!

Nearlychristmas123 · 22/12/2022 19:22

I think you’re friend is being quite unfair - yes it’s nice to be excited but she’s boasting to the point of you questioning your own happiness. She needs to tone it down

PCRyanPilkington · 22/12/2022 19:23

Hunstman spiders / Funnel web spiders / Redback spiders / Mouse spiders / Rupert Murdoch.

DrJump · 22/12/2022 19:24

I’m Australian. Although not living in Sydney we have really had a shit couple of years. Not just covid fire, floods, etc, every month there is a new food which is crazy expensive because the growing conditions are so awful.

I want to move countries.

PacificallyRequested · 22/12/2022 19:24

Also, January is like the worst time of the year to move to Sydney because of the heat. Don't envy her!

Bookworm333 · 22/12/2022 19:30

I'm from Syndey, now live in the UK. Don't intend to go back. Things people might not realise about life in Oz: I worked really long hours there and there is a real culture of presenteeism so I doubt they have caught on to working from home, flexible hours etc.

As some others have said, very blokey macho culture.

Books are really expensive as they tax non Australian authors heavily. Actually in Sydney everything is expensive! Nearly had a heart attack last time I went back and ate out! Unless your friend is really well off she's likely to be living an hour or more away from the beaches.

It can be too hot in summer but also rains more and gets colder in winter than people realise (plus there is no central heating - even in the current energy crisis my house is still warmer in winter!) Also highest rate of skin cancer is the British expat population - the sun is 100 times more lethal, you can get sunburnt walking to the bus in the morning.

Which reminds me - terrible public transport. Long live the tube!

People in Sydney can also be really cliquey and there is a good chance your friend will just hang out with other British people.

Also roasts - it's too hot to cook them half the time which I personally think is a travesty!

There are lots of lovely things too - I miss the harbour, the beaches, some aspects of the lifestyle for sure and of course I could write a long list of all the great things, but it's not paradise, it's just another place to live. So don't assume your friend is off to an easier, better life. Moving overseas is incredibly hard and the culture shock is there even where you speak the same language etc. Book yourself a nice roast lunch somewhere and forget all about it!

Bookridden · 22/12/2022 19:31

Plantsaregreen - do you mind me asking why you wanted to return to the UK? (Don't answer if too personal).

Thanks so much for your replies. So helpful. Intellectually, I know life anywhere can't be that perfect, but from everything I've seen, it sounds so amazingly good).

But yeah, I'm rubbish with heat, hate insects and am no fan of outdoor pursuits. I've got to stop thinking that life in Oz is for me.

OP posts:
Bookworm333 · 22/12/2022 19:32

Oh yeah and one last thing - really, really big spiders - Huntsman spiders. Think too big to trap under a jar to dispose of.

vincettenoir · 22/12/2022 19:34

I was in Oz for 6 weeks in my mid 20s and the standard of living was remarkably good and it was an extraordinarily beautiful country.

But… there was a lot of racial tensions that I had no idea about before I visited. And their sense of humour is very different to the British sense of humour.

Go visit your friend, it is an amazing place to visit but if you have very British sensibilities it probably wouldn’t suit you long term. I never thought I would want to live there but I would love to visit again.

anon666 · 22/12/2022 19:35

Property is even more expensive and less available over there.

Weather is too hot. Nice for a two week holiday, inhibitive for daily life.

Everyone is different over there, plus suspect more of a "yoof" culture. Young people displaying the body beautiful, making you feel old in comparison.

Lack of social and cultural networks, having to start from scratch.

Lack of familiarity, having to learn everything all over again.

Not fitting in. Loneliness. Isolation on the other side of the world. Risk of poverty with no safety net.

RandomPerson42 · 22/12/2022 19:37

I have friends and relatives in Oz, the only thing better over there is the weather. There is a lot more racism and sexism over there - in many ways it’s like the UK 40 years ago.

bellac11 · 22/12/2022 19:38

Nearlychristmas123 · 22/12/2022 19:22

I think you’re friend is being quite unfair - yes it’s nice to be excited but she’s boasting to the point of you questioning your own happiness. She needs to tone it down

No one is responsible for how someone feels, the friend doesnt have to do anything different

Its normal for OP to start feeling uncomfortable and thinking 'what if'. If she is sensible (and this is my own bias) she will realise that the grass isnt greener, lots of people that move to Oz or NZ soon come back, they hate it once the novelty wears off.

Winter789Mermaid · 22/12/2022 19:38

It’s very expensive and bloomin hot hot big impacts of climate change hitting, pretty sexist still…worst than UK. (My sis is married to a lovely Ozzie who prefers living in UK 😂). We considered it but on par we had a better quality of life here.
it used to be $50 just to visit GP even to take kids it’s probably gone up now. Everywhere is a really long way from everything so makes travel take days if you’re driving interstate. It’s vast. So great to live there for a couple of years but tricker to settle.

closingscore · 22/12/2022 19:41

The uk is shitter than it's ever been at the moment (In my lifetime)
But, we still have
Lush green countryside and rolling hills
Old characterful pubs with roaring fires
Loads of history and culture
Fine buildings
The ease of traveling to lots of different euro countries on holiday without flying all day

closingscore · 22/12/2022 19:41

Oh, and different seasons!

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