We lost DH nearly 2 years ago. DS2, who was just turned 18 at the time, has had a terrible time since. He tried to pretend he was OK for a long time, which in my own fog was what I wanted to believe and I didn't realise just how much he wasn't coping until too late. He left his apprenticeship after 3 years, without any qualifications and is now starting from scratch again.
Last summer he and I went on a bucket listnshort break. It was just as everything came to head with him and I'd hoped it would be good for him. He says he enjoyed it but it didn't show and frankly his company was hard work! We were in a small group and I think I'd have been much better able to mix without him. At that time I couldn't have left him home alone though, I was genuinely scared for his physical safety as well as his MH.
He's doing a bit better now (I think but am also wary in the knowledge that he doesn't always tell me how he really is). I am planning another trip this summer. It's something right up his street but also something I'd happily do alone. In a way, for my own "recovery" I'd quite like to prove I can do it alone.
So, do I give him another opportunity to come or just book for myself? I think he will accept if I'm paying. He'll be 20 at the time of the trip. I wouldn't expect 21yo DS1 to want to come, but he doesn't share the same interest, has generally managed better and has a long term GF to keep him occupied. DS 2's friends all seem to have drifted away during his crisis, but tbh he was never particularly sociable.