My in-laws are increasingly winding me up lately so they’ve been circling my thoughts. Hoping this is a cathartic exercise that gets them out of my brain a bit. It’s dawned on me that although they’re nice people, I don’t think they’re actually good people.
They’re very chatty and inquisitive, and will ask me lots of questions about me. Which I have always interpreted at face value as a good thing (‘they care, they’re just showing an interest’) but actually I think it’s just because they’re so desperate to come across well and be liked (very concerned with how they are perceived). I’m quite a private introvert so at times I’ve found it a bit overwhelming and not always had an answer ready, so I end up tangling myself up in knots talking to them. They bumped into my parents a few months ago and asked them why I was so standoffish sometimes, which I find so upsetting. Firstly because I’m not! It’s a classic case of extroverts not understanding introverts, but even if it was, why tell my parents that’s what they thought of me!
They do a lot of favours for people. Which again, at face value seems good. But they use those favours as currency. They’ll brag about how much they do. They’ll expect a lot in return. But they’ll never do anything if it really negative impacts them.
I go back from maternity leave soon. We ended up with twins and with the cost of living are going to struggle to pay for childcare. They’ve offered to contribute financially, which is wonderful. But I have then had to sit through three spiels about how women who can’t afford childcare shouldn’t go back to work. And then found out they’ve been sharing that view with other people. (Didn’t really want to get into a debate with them about it, trying to be polite, just answered with a one liner about how I like my career and mentioned the affect of future earning and pensions contributions. Don’t think they cared, fell on deaf ears.)
Anyway, I shan’t turn this into a lengthy creative writing exercise. I just needed to get it off my chest and I wasn’t sure where to turn.
Thanks to anyone still reading. Not sure what response I’m expecting, possibly just someone telling me to shut up because they sound like very generous people!