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Original poster

How to politely say no thanks to this

19 replies

Pointless2 · 21/12/2022 23:19

Hi - I went to an interview yesterday and today received an email saying I wasn’t successful. They also offered me the chance of a video call meeting to give me feedback.

How can I say thanks for the email but at the same time decline the feedback invitation without sounding rude?

I am feeling a bit down generally and I am not sure that I will currently be able to stomach potential criticism.

OP posts:
NeedAHoliday2021 · 21/12/2022 23:21

Just say thank you but there’s no need. Best wishes, op

minou123 · 21/12/2022 23:27

Sorry to hear that Op, it's rubbish, especially at this time of year.

Do you need to reply back?

Is your work quite a small community where you need to respond to unsuccessful applications?

I've been unsuccessful a few times, but I never respond back with a -thanks for letting me know- email.
I just file them in a folder

Or am I really rude and I should have been sending an email back?😁

carefulcalculator · 21/12/2022 23:35

I might say 'Thank you very much for the offer of feedback. Would it be possible to receive written feedback to enable me to reflect on the points you raise?'

Interested in this thread?

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Fadedpicture · 21/12/2022 23:38

I think it's highly unlikely they'll be very critical. IME people who offer this feedback are good at it and will give constructive feedback in a positive way. If not, they wouldn't offer it.

Original poster
Pointless2 · 21/12/2022 23:40

Thanks both / yes I don’t know @minou123 - the email did seem very specific in wanting to set up a video call in week such and such if I am interested…

Thanks @minou123 - yes and I don’t feel well either so am feeling quite sorry for myself 😂! Just need to get better and gather my thoughts - make plans…

OP posts:
GroggyLegs · 21/12/2022 23:41

I don't think I'd reply. I'd assume it was a standard email, but if you want to:

Thank you for your time and the opportunity to interview for the post. I will not be making an appointment for feedback on this occasion, but the offer is much appreciated.

Regards,
Pointless

And then forget about it.

CoffeeTeaCoffee · 21/12/2022 23:42

I would request written feedback. Also going through interviews at the moment so know how difficult rejections are but the feedback may be valuable to you. If not now, then further down the line.

Original poster
Pointless2 · 21/12/2022 23:43

Sorry I missed the two messages that came in between. @carefulcalculator - yes I had been thinking that written feedback would be easier - maybe I will ask for that, thanks.

@Fadedpicture - I think I am aware of where I went wrong and a bit embarrassed in retrospect - kind of kicking myself…

OP posts:
Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 21/12/2022 23:44

The feedback might be useful to you once you’ve gathered yourself and you’re feeling better again?

You could just say you’d be grateful for any written feedback if they’re able to provide any as you don’t have availability for a call at the moment. If they reply you can read it when it’s convenient.

Original poster
Pointless2 · 21/12/2022 23:46

Thanks @GroggyLegs - your suggested email is perfect and thanks @CoffeeTeaCoffee you also make a good point about maybe needing the feedback in future. Good luck with your job search 😊.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pointless2 · 21/12/2022 23:46

Thanks also @Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink - yes good idea.

OP posts:
tinselvestsparklepants · 21/12/2022 23:52

Sounds like they liked you. If you want the chance to work for them in the future, I'd book the call in. You can chat with less pressure, and it might lead to an opportunity further down the line.

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 21/12/2022 23:53

To be honest it's very nice they're offering feedback, so many places don't
I'd definately take them up on their offer for for that it might be useful for the future

Ticketyboots · 22/12/2022 00:17

tinselvestsparklepants · 21/12/2022 23:52

Sounds like they liked you. If you want the chance to work for them in the future, I'd book the call in. You can chat with less pressure, and it might lead to an opportunity further down the line.

This. Especially as you said you messed up a Q - they might just want to keep you in the system for another post down the line.

If you wanted to work for this company I would take the call…..and show good engagement

Melon9 · 22/12/2022 00:29

Def at least get written feedback.

Theyre going to far more effort than I would, are you sure it wouldn't be 'you weren't right for that post but we've this one coming up which we think you'd be excellent for'?

Could you just reply with 'I'm away for Christmas, may I get back to you in the new year'? You might feel more up for it in January and if not can just ignore.

GrumpyPanda · 22/12/2022 00:30

tinselvestsparklepants · 21/12/2022 23:52

Sounds like they liked you. If you want the chance to work for them in the future, I'd book the call in. You can chat with less pressure, and it might lead to an opportunity further down the line.

I agree. Offers for feedback are pretty rare and they wouldn't be doing it if they thought you were crap. Sounds to me like they want to keep you in their applicant pool.

SarahDippity · 22/12/2022 00:34

tinselvestsparklepants · 21/12/2022 23:52

Sounds like they liked you. If you want the chance to work for them in the future, I'd book the call in. You can chat with less pressure, and it might lead to an opportunity further down the line.

Seconding this. Could you schedule the call for January; you might be more open to feedback then, and you can ask if there are any more opportunities coming up soon.

NooneKnowsWhatItsLike · 22/12/2022 00:40

I got shortlisted for a second interview and missed out to another applicant who had been doing the exact same role advertised in a different area for many years (was moving home).

I felt incredibly awkward about doing a Teams feedback meeting however I’m glad I did. The interviewer gave me fantastic advice about were I excelled and what I could do to improve. One week later I had another interview in a different company and using the feedback I got from the failed one aced the interview. Got a better paying job than the first interview so was, in a way, glad I didn’t get it!

EarringsandLipstick · 22/12/2022 00:40

You really should take them up on the offer of feedback - it's so useful for future preparation.

It won't be critical; it will be helpful, and highlight your strengths as well as opportunities for improvement.

While they can provide your interview scores in writing, it isn't possible to supply written feedback of the same type as you'd get verbally.

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