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Handhold/hug/advice for leaving DP?

3 replies

Goldenarsehole · 21/12/2022 15:57

I've made my mind up to finally leave my 'd'p.
The relationship is volatile and unpredictable. He'll say he's ending things one day then the next be upset I won't sleep with him.

Arguments are over the top, mountains out of molehills.
Often turn to him getting violent, not necessarily towards me (I'm not regularly beaten or anything like that) but he smashed a door trying to get to me mid arguement and slapped me across the face.

We are not married.
He works a 9-5.
I recieve carers allowance for one of our disabled dc. I recently lost my job.
2 kids together.

He will want 50% custody. I'd be happy for this to happen but I don't trust his temper around the dc. I want him to get anger management or at least see a doc about the sudden temper. But he insists its not an anger problem, its a girlfriend problem. My fault basically.

I have no ducks to really get in a row.
But my kids don't deserve to grow up in this environment for another day.

My head is swimming. This has been a long time coming but now I just feel lost.

And completely and utterly alone.

OP posts:
ElbowsandArses · 21/12/2022 15:59

*hand hold. Nothing practical to offer but you are doing the right thing

VioletLemon · 21/12/2022 16:07

You definitely are doing the right thing. Can you inform family on both sides for support. This time of year can provoke more of same behaviour and you don't need that. I think the biggest priority is getting him out of house, when I was I the same position the only thing that worked was getting his PIL involved and telling them Police had been out, it wasn't safe and they took him away for a few weeks. Then the ball started rolling. The home belonged to me so I wasn't willing to leave permanently but did on several occasions with toddler. I wish I'd got out sooner, my DC were damaged by the terrible atmosphere and unpredictability. Nobody in his friendship group would have believed me. Can you enlist help from your family, friends to reinforce he has been violent and is aggressive and abusive, you can't trust him round the children. Get him out.

Goldenarsehole · 21/12/2022 16:27

@VioletLemon
No-one knows he is like this.
Everyone thinks he is the perfect partner, perfect role model, perfect dad.

I have over a hundred videos of these outbursts at me. I knew one day it might come to my word vs his. He has supportive local family, I don't.

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