Seeing DH's old work van today has really unsettled me

[bloodywhitecat]

I live in a row of just four houses, we're a bit of a way from the nearest village. Today, I was sat by the living room window, watching the world go by, when a van from the company DH used to work for drove slowly past the house. The van then drove back again and sat outside our house for a few minutes (it felt like a lifetime) and when I checked it was DH's old registration plate. The last time DH used that van was about 13 months ago, just before he had the stroke that robbed him of so much, he already had cancer and the stroke was the final straw. He died in Feb this year. I know it's silly but seeing 'his' van today has really upset me.

@bloodywhitecat Can't even imagine what it was like for you.

I wonder why it stopped outside your house? Do you think one of his colleagues wanted to check you were ok, then bottled it?

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Big hug 🤗

I'm not surprised you're upset. Can you call a friend in real life and have a cry and a hug? So sorry for your loss.

So sorry, that must have been really hard.
My family are very spiritual and so this sort of ‘coincidence’ would be taken as a sign from your DH that he’s thinking of you.
Not sure that will help, but wanted to share just incase x

Just want to give you a virtual hug ❤️❤️❤️

Very sorry for your loss. 💐After a close family member of mine passed away, we sold their car to the local garage and our neighbour a few doors down bought it. It was often parked outside our house again. It was very hard at the time, but it did get easier seeing it as time went on. Thinking of you at this time of year.

Perfectly understandable, and right to be upset

I always felt sad seeing my husbands van after he died ,
We live in a small town and he was a painter / decorator and all the lettering had been removed from the sides ,obviously , but I always remembered the registration.
Thinking of you x

I'm so sorry for your loss. Seeing the van will have triggered a feeling of painful loss.

Would it help to find something of his which triggers a really special memory or just use this feeling of grief to remember him?

Oh no, that would understandably unsettle you. Do you think it was a former colleague of his or just a coincidence?

I think about you a lot bloodywhitecat.
Of course it’s unsettling but also soothing… a sign, a hug, a hello is how I might see such things. It helps to ease that initial unsettled feeling. These are the things that end up making my day, my week… these signs. We live to remember. Remembering becomes everything. ❤️

I'm not surprised you're upset - what a shock for you. Sending hugs.

One of my neighbours bought my Dad’s car from him. After my Dad died, on getting home and seeing the car I always for a split second though my Dad had come round to see me.

So sorry OP

After my grandad died, his car was sold and forgotten about. A few months passed and then whilst on my way to work one day, I saw it being driven by a young woman. A couple more months later, said woman came to work at the same place as me and I could see my grandads car parked in the car park through the window at my desk. I never told her about the car but it brought some comfort to me seeing it there and being used again.
She left whilst I was on maternity leave and I haven’t seen her or the car since

I just saw all your other threads OP you sound like the loveliest person ever. I wish I knew you ❤️

That must have been really hard @bloodywhitecat

Ah, sending you a tight hand-hold. That sounds unsettling. Big hugs to you. 💐🎄

Oh, bless you, @bloodywhitecat. That must have rocked your world more than a bit. Seeing reminders of your loss, even if you expect them, is horrible, but when they turn up unexpectedly it catches you every time.
I really feel for you. I hope that you and yours have a peaceful Christmas season, even if it isn't exactly happy, which is entirely understandable.

I'm so sorry OP, my former partner died in October, & I keep seeing reminders of him, I would dread seeing his car again.
Wishing you a better New Year

Thank you all for understanding. I like the idea that he was letting me know he was checking in with me. I was hoping to see my daughter today, she was going to stay overnight so I could go and do the shopping tomorrow but she's sick so it's not happening now, back to plan B now.

I feel for you ..not the same but my dad had a crash and his car was written off.
He died about a year later ..not connected
A couple of months later we were driving locally and saw his car ....someone must have bought it and got it fixed...oh my goodness it gave us a real shock and brought back some memories.

My mum has dementia but when she was well she had a very recognisable car, I often see it driving about and my heart skips a beat every time that maybe this is all a bad dream.

That was it! It did feel just like that. Big hugs to everyone who has experience of this.