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Original poster

How do I get rescue cat to like me?

32 replies

Miss03852 · 20/12/2022 20:39

I’ve had my cat for six months, she hides all day behind my sofa, she only comes out for food/toilet. I don’t know what to do :(

She’s fairly old, she’s sweet but she just hides all day.

I have another cat and they just mostly ignore each other. My other cat is very docile so she doesn’t fight her.

I’m really sad as she’s obviously had bad experiences with people to be this scared all the time.

Just don’t know what to do 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
Miss03852 · 20/12/2022 20:40

Btw before anyone blames me this is my eighth cat (I’ve adopted a lot of older ones) and have never had this issue before

OP posts:
KirstenBlest · 20/12/2022 20:41

It's a cat. They do what they like.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 20/12/2022 20:41

Is she well? I’d have thought 6 months was enough time to get to know you. Poor thing.

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Cats
Bard6817 · 20/12/2022 20:43

Our rescues was bitten by a fox. She got home we took care of her and now we are regarded as her tribe.

Before that, she did same, cowered under a side table or a bed all day.

HappiCamper · 20/12/2022 20:43

Get eye contact and then close your eyes for about 5 seconds, then slowly open them again. Keep doing it. It shows the cat that you aren’t a threat.

I volunteer at a cat rescue and I find this generally works. You need to be patient though 😊.

Hellocatshome · 20/12/2022 20:44

All my animals have always been rescued. Sometimes you just have to accept they aren't going to "like" you necessarily but you are giving them food and shelter and protecting them for harm and are therefore doing the right thing by them.

We have a mixture of responses from rescues, some just will not ever act like a "normal" pet. Some like the cat currently draped across my shoulders will worship you as their saviour and never let you out of their sight.

Both types are equally deserving of being rescued.

That being said patience and food are your best options.

AllotmentTime · 20/12/2022 20:49

Assume you’ve tried toys?

If so then I would find the food she loves eg Dreamies, and then same time every day, make sure there’s just the two of you in the room, ostentatiously rattle/open the packet, drop one behind the sofa and leave it, and sit in the room for a few minutes quietly.

Each day get the treat a little bit closer to you but still in a place where she’ll take it.

Hopefully eventually she’ll come out to you for treats when she hears the packet. But you have an uphill journey if she’s older and has already been doing this for six months.

update us though won’t you 🥰 sounds like she’s a lucky girl to have found a forever home with you. You on the other hand have found a kitty challenge 😁

Pixiedust1234 · 20/12/2022 20:51

Try different cat treats. Put one near her and leave her be. Next night leave two with a gap in between. It will take several nights but you need to effectively do a gingerbread trail to where you are sitting very still. Use your voice so she associates the treats with your voice. Dont try to touch her, wait until she asks for fuss.

I also found toys on sticks are very good for interacting with cats. It seems to have the same bonding potential as walks are with dogs.

Try feliway too but choose the right one. She sounds like she is scared and unsure, and probably missing her previous house and owner like mad, bless her.

AnnieFarmer · 20/12/2022 20:58

Think I’d just make a bed up for her in the place she hides and leave her to it. She obviously feels safe there.

pointythings · 20/12/2022 21:04

It can take so very long and some cats never get there. One of my four is like this, she was born in a feral colony. The other three are various degrees of cuddly, but her ladyship likes to be alone either in the catio or somewhere in the house. She comes into the living room for food and toileting and occasionally will sit on one of the dining chairs under the table or in one of the enclosed bits of cat trees, but it's rare. If she's in a safe space she will let you pet her and relax into it, but she's a solitary lady. And that's fine.

I'm lucky in that if she needs to go to the vet, i.e. for booster jabs, she's difficult to catch but once you have her she just relaxes into it without any fight at all.

Your shy lady may always be shy, or she may not. The slow blinking tactic described above is absolutely helpful though, it's helped us bond with our reserved lady.

Original poster
Miss03852 · 20/12/2022 21:06

AnnieFarmer · 20/12/2022 20:58

Think I’d just make a bed up for her in the place she hides and leave her to it. She obviously feels safe there.

I know but I doubt she enjoys being alone all day, she’s obviously just doing it out of some kind of fear/trauma, My dp works from home and she’s scared of him too.

I do have another cat who is very affectionate, I want this one to be happy and not afraid all the time and I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Miss03852 · 20/12/2022 21:09

Thank you for suggestions btw I will try the slow blinking, I’ve already fed Dreamies to get her out and it works but she just runs back behind the sofa

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/12/2022 21:12

I'd leave her in peace in her safe place. If she's coming out for food and to go to the toilet etc then she's OK. Some cats jus don't like a lot of attention.

Even if your other cat is docile, she may feel threatened.

Or talk to the charity you rescued her from to see if they have any advice?

Either way, she's being fed and is safe inside in the warm. So you've done a good thing.

MissPiggysPinkDress · 20/12/2022 21:19

Just stay patient and keep showing her you are not a threat. We had a Persian in our family years ago that was a rescue, she had been very badly mistreated and had to be shaved almost bald when she first got to the rescue. For 6 months to a year she wouldn’t leave the kitchen. Then she would start peeping round the corner of the door, but run away if you looked at her. She gradually got braver. She was never a cuddly cat, but her last few years were safe and comfortable, ands she would join you in the living room and a have a snooze, or go for a little potter round in the garden.

RandomMess · 20/12/2022 21:21

You need to block off where she hides so she has to "risk" being nearer and more interactive with you.

RandomMess · 20/12/2022 21:23

m.youtube.com/watch?v=AiuTto83pCU

vipersnest1 · 20/12/2022 21:40

Let her be in her safe space, but sit in it on the floor. Have a general talk to her, asking about her day etc, just making conversation and letting her hear your voice. If she starts to come out and approach you, just put your balled hand up near her nose (gently) so she can sniff it. The first time or so, don't attempt to go beyond that, but if she still seems confident after a day or so, risk a little stroke of her nose with one finger. After that, you can be bolder, as she can.
Then you can take it from there.
You could try some dreamies or other treats laid in a trail to you if the first plan doesn't work out. (I used to lure my old boy - who I'd had for many years - inside with a trail of dry cat food pieces when he decided that he didn't come in at night, but needed to.)

vipersnest1 · 20/12/2022 21:46

And just to add, rescue cats can be scared of all sorts of things.
One of mine hated anything on a long handle, so brooms, hoovers etc and the other one was terrified of plastic bags, bin liners, etc.
You never know what they've been through and they can't tell you except through their behaviour.

lurkinglittleladybug · 20/12/2022 22:03

Aww bless her, who knows the previous life she had and why she is so frightened. In my experience rescue cats take a bit longer to win their trust. Try to coax her out with a toy she likes, trail a shoe lace across the floor to tempt her out to play. Play will help her confidence. Get her a catnip toy try the yeow catnip banana toy, that’s a favourite with mine … And try the blinking thing. You could also try getting a cat tree and placing it near a window. Cats like to be up high.

Sideorderofchips · 20/12/2022 22:40

Don't block off her safe space. It will freak her out more

Try the treats and slow blinking. It worked for my shy rescue

Fizbosshoes · 20/12/2022 22:47

Probably not much help but our rescue cat doesn't really like us after 7 years!! We adopted 2 (brother and sister). The brother is friendly, likes a fuss, sits on the sofa with us, doesn't mind being picked up. The girl cat will only sit at a distance and would not be touched or stroked. Her safe place though is DDs bed. If no one else is around (including the other cat) she will be friendly to DD and give her lots of head nudges. I didn't actually believe it but DD videoed it!

ElegantlyTouched · 20/12/2022 22:48

Sounds mad but could you make up a bed on the floor of the room and sleep there for a few nights?

Dashel · 20/12/2022 23:09

Interactive toys like the fishing pole ones will give her confidence and help you bond.

Talking to her as she eats should help her associate your voice with good things.

All our cats have loved to be groomed so if you haven’t get a brush and just do the head to start with.

I would also spend some time sat on the floor in the room she is in with some dreamies and a book and try being really patient.

PingPongMerrilyWithPie · 21/12/2022 00:12

Might she feel more secure if she were completely separated from your other cat? If they are sharing the space and the other one is dominant that could be holding her back. We adopted 2 as a bonded pair. Even though they were "friends" the dominated one was pretty miserable, with hindsight, until the dominant one died. She was a completely different cat afterwards.

BonjourCrisette · 21/12/2022 00:23

I have a cat who was a stray. I've had him about four years. He still won't be picked up, gets a bit weird/bitey if you stroke him too much (sometimes this means 10 seconds), freaks at the most random things (cardboard boxes and men are a big problem). He barely meows (sounds like the tiniest kitten but is in fact a huge monster of a feline) but will yowl if stressed or angry. But he does follow me about all day (trying to kill me) by headbutting me ferociously hard on the legs while I try to do normal things like walk downstairs. He's quite strong and it actually hurts but is clearly meant well. He does like food. He will be affectionate at times by just coming and sitting near me and purring. I feel very honoured when he blinks at me. He doesn't want to sit on anyone's lap more than about once a month. The first six months were just the beginning. He was still kind of terrified of everything in those days. You might have a long road to actual friendship ahead of you.