If you had your children later in life, how are your fifties going?

[Trackerbarsyum]

I was 40 when I had DS, and am expecting a second baby. I will be 43.

I would not change it, but I am conscious my fifties will look different to many of my friends - even those who had children at 35ish will have children approaching the end of their time at secondary and mine will still be at primary.

I suppose I’m wondering how it will go, whether DH and I will want to retire at 60 but want to see youngest through university… be interesting to see how people who are ahead of us are

Almost 62, DD25. Appreciated being in a better financial position, and more 'emotionally ready' for parenthood (took me a long time to mature) but wasn't as lively/physically fit as younger parents. Now spend time visiting DD who is about 4 hrs away, as well as her visiting, and managing elderly DM who is 2.5hrs away. DstepDad is younger than DM, and is still driving, so that makes it easier, and they still visit. I am not expecting him to be driving for probably more than about 5 years at an optimistic estimate, which will make things more problematic from a logistics perspective. DM is becoming increasingly needy, and I suspect that there is early dementia there, but unreceptive to any medical help/diagnosis, which is a whole other thread. Without DSdad, my life would be a lot more about being pulled in two directions tbh.

I had mine at 41 and 43. My parents had me late too so late 70s and while others here have said tricky dealing with both, my father had a stroke and went within six weeks and my mother moved to another country and my sisters took on more of that responsibility. But both were gone before my kids hit 10.
In their first school I was definitely about ten years older than all the other parents, but my husband passed away so I moved and oddly I was the average age in my sons year!
Im 60 now and my daughter is in her last year of school. I think it has kept me young. My husband did note that when our daughter was born he'd be 65 when she went off to university but he died at 51.
I suppose younger parents are still building up their career, whereas I had been working for 20 years so was happy to take a step back. I don't feel like I had any missed opportunities in that respect.

I could have written this I had mine at 35 and 39 which is old compared to all my kids friends parents
My nearly 4 year old has a friend and his Mum invited me to her 21st party!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️
But I went along and had a lovely time with her Mum and aunties who were really welcoming 😂

But I'm exhausted
Juggling care of the elderly
Peri menopausal
Worried about the mortgage rates and bills

And to be honest permanently stressed 😩

And I'm "only" 42! Nearly 43!

Not quite 50 yet. Am almost 49 with a 9 year old.

I felt very fit as healthy when I was pregnant but underestimated the impact of being perimenopausal with a primary school kid. It's been tough, I won't lie. I do worry about my/DH's health a lot more and the impact any poor health might have on DS. We are making in my big changes to our lifestyle to promote good health and longevity.

That said, we are relatively financially stable compared to DS's classmates who have younger parents - many of whom cannot get on the property ladder and are at the whim of landlords - which I think adds a lot of insecurity to their lives. It's a lot harder for younger families now. We had the chance to get ourselves established before DS came along.

Swings and roundabouts really....

Surprise at 44 third, the other two at university. Was easier. My menopause was at 56. My body started falling apart at 65. Back problems. I'm a grandparent to five. I'm probably not as hands on with them because I did the school run for 38 years. I'm a bit done with kids now

We had DD when DH was in his 50s - I'm younger, although will be in my 50s by the time she's at secondary. She's now primary-aged and he's taken early retirement. It's been great - more financial security, he does the childcare whilst also getting his pension so it's better than working and having to pay for childcare. It also means plenty of time available to her for support, chats etc.

Feels like life is more relaxed and we have better quality of life than if we'd had her younger and both of us trying to juggle work.

Navigating menopause with teenage hormone bombs in the house has been an interesting experience.

@justasking111 38 school run years! You deserve some sort of medal for that.

My surprise baby at 43 is now 9 and I am 53.

Like pp, I juggle between the school run, full time work, being a mum to a young kid and stepping up caring for my mother who is in her 70s and not in the best of health.
I am obviously menopausal or peri meno, don’t know how to distinguish between the two horror stories, so suffering greatly while trying to “crack on” with everyday life.

Its fucking hard, so hard. I am as I always have been bottom of the pile due to r every one needing something from me. More so now.

my surprise child though is an absolute joy and delight to behold, my saviour and my life! I am thoroughly enjoying watching him grow and develop.

My silver lining definitely!

I had the opposite experience to this! When DS started school at just turned four (late August birthday), I was 26. Chatting to a woman I believed to be the grandma of a boy in his class and later discovered she was the mum. She had three older boys (all late teens/early twenties), then this younger DS born when she was 48.....

DH and I had three elderly parents all with dementia when we were in our forties (I'm 55 now) and I wouldn't have wanted to be dealing with that and young DC, but we were probably just extremely unlucky in that respect.

I had mine really young and it was hard work combining it all. I had to work full time and I wanted to do as much as I could with my kids.. they left home at 19 and 24 .. and I have a fabulous relationship with them. I know I have it my all bringing them up.
and then I met OH who had a 10 year old and I'm back to parenting again...
it's harder now because I feel like I've already done it and that I should be just having chill time now . I think I sometimes resent DSS. Yes - shame on me - but he's bloody hard work sometimes all the time.

@ColinRobinsonsfamiliar
I get you xx good luck x

😊 Not alone and with sympathy and empathy it does make life a bit better doesn’t it!
Thanks x

No issues here and i had my 4th just before my 45th birthday.

I really made the most of my maternity leave as i knew he was definitely my last. so took the full year, loved it, slept like a lizard anyway after having three already. In my 50s now and my 4th is 8. We get on great, i take him swimming every saturday, rugby every sunday, support him with his school work. I think because i am well established in my career I don't struggle trying to balance everything. I stay fit and exercise 5 days a week . My three older Dc don't have the needs now as they are late teens and one in their 20s.

Had DS at almost 37, I'm 52 now. He's a very easy teen and we get on very well. I am starting to slow down a bit and have very infirm, vulnerable parents, however, as well as my own menopause to navigate. I'm very tired.

Had my 2nd at nearly 39 am 51 now - there is some elderly parent caring for - but I think allot is down to luck - people get ill and need care at unpredicable points anyway- finding the parenting thing a lot easier since they are both at secondary school/can be left