Not a first world problem by any means - but does anyone else get sad at this time of year?

[MickeyMouseShithouse]

Because of expectations vs reality?

For context: We both work full time and earn a good amount.
We used to have a lot of debt, but we sold our house, paid off all of our debts, brought a new bigger family home and now live debt free.

I have for some reason such false expectations of Christmas - maybe because as children our Christmases were quite extravagant and it was so magical for me as a child.

Now I have children I wanted to do the same for them, the house full of nice Christmas food, house decorated head to toe Christmassy, the toys, the presents - I just want them to feel how I felt at Christmas.

Bit every year we’ve found ourselves questioning if we can afford it, before obviously because we had debt so once this was gone I was excited to start fresh and be able to afford all these nice things- but with inflation, cost of living crisis, a bigger mortgage ect I think I’ve been so unrealistic.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve brought presents, we’ve paid for Christmas dinner, we have a tree and decorations.. but I find myself constantly feeling guilty like I haven’t done enough for them?

does anyone else feel like this, why do I feel so guilty when the kids probably won’t even notice these small details?!

Well you own a house so you're doing better than me who is still renting

I get this I get anxiety symptoms worse in December, and I overdo on presents because I just want people to be happy, and with the end of the year I ruminate on how little progress I've made in my life and get sad, NYE is awful for me mentally.

You are looking for a child's Christmas seen through the eyes of an adult - it is never going to be the same magical experience because you are no longer a child! You now know the cost and sheer hard work to pull off these things.
I'm sure your children will think it's magical as it's the Christmas they experience with you. They have nothing to compare it too, and you need to stop looking back at Christmas past with those frosty covered glasses!

I find the time of year really depressing and gloomy. It's the nostalgia, the missing dead friends and relations, the feeling of not being enough somehow or comparing myself with others, however much I try not to. It's lonely and difficult and the only consolation is, I always feel like a weight has been lifted by new year.

maybe because as children our Christmases were quite extravagant and it was so magical for me as a child. are you sure they were as big and extravagant as you remember? A lot of childhood we imagine so much bigger than it was.

I remember my childhood Christmasses as epic but I am remembering so many years of Christmas that it’s not a true memory.

I’ve tried to make Christmas such a big thing for my children but in an easy / cheap way. For instance - we went to see a Christmas film at the cinema. Decided to go via his bus and made sure we got a double decker because I loved those when I was young. My DC spoke to half the people on the bloody bus about how expected they were. The walk from the bus station to the cinema was icy and snowy and this made it take ages but of course added to the whole experience. We were early at the cinema and took an age choosing some sweets.
The whole thing honestly took two thirds of the day.

I’ve also realised I can play a friend popping round with her DC on the way back from work as a “Christmas party” - instead of offering a cup of tea there might be glass of wine but for the children not much changes - they just run off and play. But then for weeks you hear about the “Christmas party” they had.

I also find this time of year hard. I was preparing a meal tonight, listening to Stevie Nicks singing Landslide - tears rolling down my face - Christmas makes me think of my childhood (happy), family (many no longer living), my own children and so on...although I am busy work is finished and have more time to reflect. It doesn't take much to send me emotionally a bit over the edge.

I don't feel sad about Christmas because I don't really care for it and have zero expectations. But I am already feeling a sense of dread about the new year. I don't feel like I've achieved anything and I hate January so much with all its good intentions and bleakness.

You say you and your partner “earn a good amount” - may I politely ask doing what?

Because you also assert that you’ve “brought a new bigger family home” and “we’ve brought presents”.

Something isn’t adding up here. Where did you bring these all from? I’d love to find a big family house and presents lying around so I could bring them to my family. But the presents I got them this year has to be bought and it looks like I’ll have to buy a family home rather than bring one from somewhere. So what’s your secret?!

What shitty thing to say.
Shame on you

What? I’m genuinely curious!

😆