Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Have I made the right choice? First World Problem

12 replies

JinglingUpTheCreek · 20/12/2022 12:08

DD is in the last year of primary; tomorrow is her last ever festive assembly.

DD has SEN and has been struggling emotionally lately. This morning before school she started crying and said she feels sad because youngest DD stays home with me (she’s 2 and attends nursery 2 days each week).

I make time for DD1 to have on her own with me but she says it does not feel the same as she is at school when DD2 is at home with me all day. She was genuinely upset (and she has mentioned this before, recently)

I organised the day off tomorrow to get some jobs done around the home before Christmas and to attend DD’s assembly. DD was so upset, I’ve told her I’ll book DD2 in to an extra session at nursery and I’ll clear the whole day tomorrow just for us two (she will stay off school). She was so happy and I feel she really needed it.

I’ve made it clear it’s not a regular thing, and it’s only because there are no lessons during this week. DD1 does not have a part in the assembly as she chose not to participate so she won’t inconvenience anyone.

She felt really valued and listened to so I’m happy with my decision but I also feel so disappointed I’m going to miss her final assembly Sad. She may not be Mary but it’s the last time she will be singing her heart out without a care in the world Sad.

Tell me I won’t regret it?

OP posts:
Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 20/12/2022 12:18

Explain to school and ask if she - and you - can pop in for the assembly only...

Hellopello · 20/12/2022 12:20

I’m sure she will be glad to have some time with you doing helping with Christmas preparations and will treasure the memories.

Original poster
JinglingUpTheCreek · 20/12/2022 12:21

@Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon Ty, I had suggested that to DD but she does not want to do the assembly (she chose not to participate as she hates being the centre of attention).

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families
SquigglePigs · 20/12/2022 12:22

It's understandable that you feel disappointed to miss her last assembly but it sounds like something she potentially finds more stressful than fun (based on you saying she opted out of a part).

You also say she's struggling at the moment so I think this day with you will mean the world to her and potentially something you will look back on with more joy than the last assembly would have been, knowing what you're doing for her.

Don't second guess yourself.

Choconut · 20/12/2022 12:24

She may not be Mary but it’s the last time she will be singing her heart out without a care in the world Sad.

Or she be sat there miserably, trying not to cry wishing she had the day off with you. She needs this now, just keep remembering this is about her not you. You're doing the right thing. Do something lovely with her to make different wonderful memories.

Original poster
JinglingUpTheCreek · 20/12/2022 12:26

@SquigglePigs this is exactly what I’m trying to tell myself. I know this day with me will mean so much more to her than me getting to watch her sing (or hide!) in the assembly.

OP posts:
endlesswinter · 20/12/2022 12:32

Dd was really shy and turned down being Mary in the school nativity in primary school. Honestly I was rather sad although I said nothing.

Much to my surprise she started voice lessons and now in High School she has solo slots in large end of year assemblies etc.

You never know what the future holds you may well see your dd singing her heart out later in life when she is ready to. Enjoy your day with her.

Original poster
JinglingUpTheCreek · 20/12/2022 16:36

Ty, for the replies. I’ll make tomorrow special for her.

OP posts:
SquigglePigs · 21/12/2022 16:09

@JinglingUpTheCreek hope you and DD have had a lovely day today.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 21/12/2022 16:14

You absolutely won't regret it. The thing you feel you're missing is an idealised version and not get reality. In reality she will be on cloud 9 getting loved bombed by you and you can bake and sing to Xmas songs together and enjoy her innocence and Xmas joy that way. Xx

Original poster
JinglingUpTheCreek · 01/01/2023 18:51

I am late back to the thread but DD and I had a lovely day together. I took her out for breakfast, we came home and snuggled up to watch a Christmas movie together and then played some games at home; it’s what she wanted to do.

Later in the evening, she was a little bit silly and got a very minor telling off by DH which resulted in lots of upset and her being convinced she had ruined our lovely day; she was inconsolable but I obviously reassured her and cuddled her. It confirmed to me I made the right choice as spending that time together meant a lot to her and she felt listened to.

OP posts:
CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 02/01/2023 00:16

❤️❤️❤️❤️
Awwww, that's lovely and so glad you felt right that you gave her that. Making her feel that what matters to her is important to you is exactly the right choice. Well done for being an emotionally responsive and caring mummy. 💐

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread