Luring DC away from screens...tips welcomed

[Figgypuddin]

I know I could just turn them off/put away - but I would, if possible, like to do it painlessly.

We go out and they will occasionally spend time on the trampoline in garden, even in bad weather. Any down time at home is, however, spent in front of TV or playing switch. So clocking up lots of hours

I've just suggested a game and DS(8) said he just tolerates games for me, is usually just waiting for them to finish. I think baking with me is the same. Do I just persist with these activities anyway?!

He used to love drawing but rarely does that now. Doesn't play with Lego anymore unless it's a new set.

His older brother (12) is the same, probably the norm by by that age.

When mine were younger we used to have a rule no screens in the morning, and only after some fresh air/exercise. But apart from that we didn't limit screen time.

By having the 'rule' everyone knew where they were and they found things to do. I was always able to offer jobs to anyone who said they were bored...

So if I set some a few times they will find/rediscover things to do.

It's not like they even love it
Youngest looks fed up already as had been watching tv nearly 3 hours.

At one point I also had a 'chart' somewhere with possible activities e.g.
Craft: drawing, painting, junk modelling, craft set, collage, craft book
Reading, puzzle book, write a story
Board game, jigsaw, marble run, lego, kinex
etc
Also
Tidy bedroom, sort missing games pieces, tidy games cupboard, maths with Mum

It takes some perseverance but because it was 'the rule' it saved a lot of whining.

I think it's normal for screens to become boring and frustrating after a while because it's just passive entertainment. What do your kids love doing, are they into sports? Do they see any friends outside of school?

If I were you I would limit screens to a certain time of day, so eg between 5 am and 8 pm or whatever time suits you. They will find something to do when there's no alternative.

Nothing will ever compete with a screen. The only way I've found to get them to engage in other activities is to limit screens to certain times.

12 year old sees friends most but not every weekend and has two activities/clubs he goes to during term time. Youngest doesn't go to any but is at after school club every day and prefers family/home at weekends.

Like I say, we do go out, but today, for example, we will go out for the afternoon. I reckon there will still be 7/8 hours at home. Which left to it will be tv/gaming.

Before the summer this year they would have chosen to do other things so I didn't need rigid rules around screens.

Do they have any chores?

Things like learning to cook - perhaps they could cook a meal for everyone once a week? (With help initially obviously!)

Or gardening?

No. Pretty much no chores although will empty dishwasher, put washing away on odd occasion that are asked to.

I was brought up in a different culture but that doesn't seem nearly enough for a 12 year old especially.

It doesn't have to be a punitive/harsh way - I genuinely really enjoyed cooking when I was put in charge of doing it, not just helping and my 6 year old responds really well to being in charge of his own vegetable patch

Yes. I might think of a couple of chores. I did try a while ago but it never really became routine. Will try again (maybe not over Christmas as I only have a few days off with them). They both help with Xmas lunch and love doing it.

They sound fed up, but screens are addictive (at any age!) and lethargy sets in etc. My mum would have come in, turned off the screens and gone RIGHT you're helping make mince pies now/we're going to sort the living room/we're going for a walk on the beach. You're allowed to do that! It doesn't have to be taking them away for a fun activity. As you say they look bored so they may moan but probably deep down will enjoy the change.

At 8 I'd suggest setting rigid time limits.
May be too late for the 12 year old.

Hopefully it's not too late for either of them because as I have said it's a recent thing that usage has crept up.

They aren't fed up because we don't do enough. We've do lots. It's just that as soon as they are home they put the tv on - it's the default. And then the youngest does look fed up. I think the 12 year old could watch a lot of TV before he gets bored.

It has been off a couple of hours and they seem unbothered and found stuff to do. So I guess I just don't leave them with the option. (It's back on now though but this is meant to be a lazy day in!)

Go to the library and then make them read the new books for 2 hours.

We try to restrict gaming time to a couple of hours in the holidays, mainly because they get over-invested & upset/frustrated when it doesn't go how they want it to. That might be something worth considering.

It's difficult over Christmas as a lot of usual activities aren't on.

We are encouraging DC to do the following:

• meet up with friends
• read books/listen to audiobooks
• help tidy up
• help make mince pies/banana bread
• get out the house each day to do an activity, even if it's just a walk with a hot chocolate break halfway through

I think we all watch more tv than usual over Christmas, but need to break it up with real life activities.

How about introducing a rule that every day they need to do: something active, some reading, something creative (art/music/writing), something (anything!) related to Christmas and a household chore. You don't tell them what any of these should be - it's up to them to think of ideas (that's part of the fun!). Every day at supper you all talk about what everyone did. Could be worth a try?!

DS is 10 and has ADHD and DD is 8. When they were 8 and 6 I wrote out some coloured lolly sticks with "things to do if you are bored". It was based on this but those were mainly a bit old for them. It also included some learning type things (read to an adult, write a story).
DD still uses them but won't select at random (they were originally told to do the first one they picked).
DS doesn't use them any more, but we limit screen time to "after you've done all your jobs/homework/reading" and he seems to find that Lego is somehow really thrilling rather than doing his Maths app... And DD would rather play with her dolls or make a collage ditto...
Having said that, over Christmas we are going to say if they want to keep up their streaks on their Maths and English apps they can, DS needs to read to someone every day (he's really good at reading but reads the same books again and again), and DD needs to do some maths for her tutor (that's her Achilles heel).

Oops here's the original post.

www.frugalfamily.co.uk/bored-sticks-80-ideas-for-your-bored-jar/

If he likes playing video games he might like designing them. I know it’s still classed as screen time but you could try enrolling him onto coding lessons. Codecademy has awesome video gaming ‘courses’ that any kid over 10 can follow along with provided you have all the software downloaded (and much of it is free).

Another thing is that cooking / playing video games and ‘reactive’ sports like ping pong / tennis / go karting / hockey use a similar skillset. So get him to try lots of new things in the hope something sticks. If there’s an alternative to screens that’s just as fun he’ll go for it.