Does anyone not feel anything about Christmas anymore?

[mayoldaqu]

I'm 32 and have no kids yet but a partner who I live with of 2 years.
The only family I have left is my dad.
My gran died 2 years ago and she was a mother to me after mum died of cancer when I was 13.
I loved Christmas.
I used to love the build up
Buying the party food.
Bringing my gran to my dads and the 4 of us having a lovely Christmas.
Watching Scrooge every Christmas
Feeling happy we were all together.
Now she's gone and I'm just empty
I don't feel anything about Christmas anymore
I just want it over
Il buy the party food,il play the music ,watch the Xmas movies but I'm not bothered
I'm not happy,I'm not excited
It's just something that needs to be done
I used to love it
Anyone else ?

Me ,dad,gran and dog

I don’t feel excited anymore but for totally different reasons to you.

I am so sorry for your loss xx

Sorry for your loss ❤️ It’s natural that you won’t feel the same way about Christmas for a while. Maybe in time you can reconnect with it in a new way.

Make a new tradition that honours your Gran - maybe buy a beautiful candle every year to light in her memory.

I’m sorry for your loss. I have gone through periods where Christmas didn’t mean anything to me. I volunteered to take extra shifts as I didn’t have anyone to celebrate with and that made me feel like I was still doing something in the spirit of Christmas.

Now I have my own family and Christmas is busy and meaningful again. When the children are older that might change, but that’s okay. Christmas doesn’t have to mean everything to everyone, every year.

Yes. I used to love everything about Christmas too. I was a tree up in November person, but I actually dread it now and find myself just going through the motions of it. Mine is for different reasons to you, but yes, the magic and spark has totally gone.

I no longer get excited about it. Youngest is 26, parents both dead, no Grandchildren, nieces/nephews all adults. I find the whole thing an unnecessary chore tbh. I'd happily go away somewhere but DH & DS won't.

I totally understand and feel the same. My mum was diagnosed with cancer one week before Christmas in 2020. It was the worst and most traumatic period of my life (exacerbated by Covid and being in lockdown again). Since then Christmas is basically dead to me. I go through the motions for my children but I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy it like I used to.

To me Christmas is about stress and demands. I go through the motions and pretend I'm having a good time for the kids but I am really miserable. I have a moody and sometimes abusive husband and Christmas means spending more time with him which is misery. I also have my dad a brothers over for Christmas Dinner and I am on eggshells all day incase dh says something nasty to them which offends them. I just hate Christmas, used to love it til I got married.

Agree.

Christmas is a winter festival where we get some free days (if we’re lucky) to celebrate in whatever way we choose.

For people with families this usually means doing something family-orientated (whether or not they want to, lol). This is the option that is aggressively promoted by advertisers as there is money in selling tat to families. So everywhere you look there are images of happy smiling families exchanging gifts which can make those without families feeling sad and left out.

But for those between families there are sooo many other options which the marketers don’t bother about as there’s less money in it for them. Something spiritual or meaningful - extra shifts to release colleagues, volunteer, sing in a choir, clear up litter with a group, climb a snowy mountain for charity.

Or - just take the days off and shamelessly enjoy them! Avoid the turkey dinner - poor birds! Book a night away somewhere interesting - lighthouse, tent, foodie hotel.

I used to love Christmas, both as a child and as an adult, but in recent years I have found myself becoming totally indifferent to it.

We have no tree and no Christmas decorations up at home, for the 2nd consecutive year. I simply can't be bothered with any of it any more.

We're going to spend Christmas Day with another family member, so nobody will be coming to our house this year at all. I think if I were hosting a Christmas dinner or having people round, I'd probably make the effort to tidy up and at least put up a Christmas tree. But as it's just DH and me who will be here, it isn't worth the effort or the expense, imo.

I was trying to analyse the other day why Christmas has lost its appeal. I'm wondering whether the deaths of my beloved mother and mother-in-law in the past couple of years, each of them just before Christmas, has a lot to do with it. Our mothers provided a focus for DH and me. We used to have big family get togethers, so all the family could meet up and see mum together. Covid restrictions put a stop to those and now they don't happen any more. We used to go and cook for DH's mum and spend time with her - and of course, that no longer happens either.

I think the crux is that I'm no longer crucial to anyone's Christmas, I don't actually need to do anything. That role has now passed down to the next generation - and so I'm struggling to find a new place for myself in the scheme of things.

I felt that way for a few years. I'm also 30s with a partner but no kids. I have a sibling and one parent. One parent died just after Christmas. I felt numb to it for a couple of years but I find now I just want to make things special in any way I can. I lay a place for my mum at the table. There are challenging feelings that come up but I think something that helps is ive always been quite connected to my inner child.

I hope you're able to have a peaceful Christmas.

I’ve felt like this for decades now. I don’t even celebrate it any more. I have an adult dd and I always hopes she goes to visit her father for Xmas cause I just don’t want to do anything on that day.

Same. I'm just not interested tbh. Had a lot of traumatic and horrible Xmasses as a teen and young adult. Now, I will appreciate the days off, and will take some time to acknowledge the millenia-old mid-winter festivities and the various traditions around them. But the tinkly sleigh bells, compulsory overeating, and horrible sentimental aggressive push from advertisers....no time for any of that really.

I'm glad I'm not the only one!
My dad died suddenly at the beginning of October- fatal heart attack out of no where (no previous symptoms!)
Christmas has no lost all of its magic/family meaning for me, which is sad because I still have an almost 5 year old and partner myself, but it just won't be the same without my dad.

I think since having kids it’s sadly just been taken over by the stress and pressure of making it ‘magical’ for them. No one else gets them gifts because my family don’t like choosing stuff so I get them things for them to give them, and my h’s side of the family have either passed away (his parents) or don’t do gifts (his siblings).

I normally don’t have anything to open for myself as have agreed not to do gifts with siblings and just get £40 money or a voucher from my parents (which don’t get me wrong I am grateful for). I don’t do presents with friends which is nice in one way as less stuff to buy but things are tight this year (leaving H, moving out of the family home with the kids) and I’d love a few little treat things to open.

My husband died suddenly in October 13 years ago now. My kids were 4 and 6. My father had died just a few months earlier, also unexpectedly.
That first Christmas was very difficult. I think it's the first time I took the tree down before January. Christmas before was my husband, children , sometimes his older kids, and my parents, then my husband's side for Boxing Day. When I was young it was always the most wonderful holiday.
Now, unless I go abroad to see my siblings, it's just me and my two teens.
However, the following Christmas after my husband passed I did get my holiday spirit back, and I love doing Christmas and decorating. It's not quite as jolly as when with a bigger crowd, but lovely nevertheless.
Perhaps you can reach out to others - it's almost a cliché but volunteering to do Christmas dinners for a shelter or whatever may help bring meaning back for you.

I feel awful saying that because some people have nobody and I have my partner and dad.
I just my mum and gran so much bad
His planned to go a meal on Wednesday and a festive afternoon tea for Christmas Eve and I am grateful,I just feel sad

No need to feel bad about it. What you feel is what you feel, and it’s understandable. Hopefully in time, Christmases won’t feel like this.