My eldest DD is 12, and has been part of a friendship group (all female) since 5 years old.
There are 5 of them in the group. That in itself is an issue. At school, when asked to pair off, my DD is always the one who doesn’t have a partner. In class, in PE, in sports, when they travel into town on the bus and it’s seats of two.
She regularly hears of two or three of them having sleepovers, but she is never invited. This weekend, two of them hosted sleepovers for the other two (separately) and DD is really sad she wasn’t invited. I explained to DD that it’s ok to feel sad to miss out but they’ve not done anything wrong. I also reminded her that she never suggests to have anyone sleepover here. DD does a lot of sports so it’s not always the easiest to arrange but also not impossible.
Watching on, I don’t think these girls are likely to remain her close friends. However, my DD can’t see past them and keeps getting hurt. The last time she hung out with one of the girls, my DD ended up coming home as she said they weren’t having a good time. I think they are more acquaintances now, and my DD is stuck.
We’ve encouraged her to spread her wings, make new friends, which she has done since August. However, the other girls she is trying to befriend are already in a fairly tight group so she’s also experiencing not feeling included just yet. Understandable as she is new to them.
Wondering if there is anything else we can do to support here. It’s crap seeing her feeling left out. She’s a considerate, fun person to be around, and loves to get out and hang out. She plays sports 4 times a week, plays an instrument so has lots of opportunities to form friendships. We give her money so she can join in on trips to the shop, or Starbucks etc. However, I just wonder how she’ll see past these 4 other girls not being the ‘besties’ she thinks that they are.
Or, do you not get involved and just be there to dry her tears?