Is this my fault at work?

breadloaf · 2022-12-18T21:23:41+00:00

I started a new job with zero experience (they were well aware of this) and the training was piss poor. I’m miserable and things haven’t changed after 10 months. I’ve voiced it to my managers manager and basically they’ve said I’m to blame. Examples: I asked for more training in a specific area. They agreed. Said they got it signed off. I confirmed who was arranging it in case it was me (it wasn’t). Then I heard nothing. This has been said it’s my fault as I didn’t chase it up. I called my manager to do a work handover whilst I was due to be off (he didn’t even mention it and a handover is very much an expected thing in this department)”. He ignored the call (fine as you can’t always answer) but he never acknowledged the call or attempted to call me back. I sent a follow up email. But again this is my fault. I have a billion more examples. It’s just upsetting that I’m always 100% to blame in everything, they won’t even accept some blame. I appreciate there’s things I could do better but these people are adults and why should I have to constantly remind them and fight for everything? It’s draining.

Goodywhoshoes · 18/12/2022 21:33

I do think in your shoes I would have chased up the training. I would also have tried to call again re handover tbh.
They have other bits of their job to do so your needs won’t be in the forefront of their mind. In an idea world you wouldn’t have to chase but, if you know things need doing, it’s worth being pro active rather than things not happening or not getting done.

JetBlackSteed · 18/12/2022 21:42

Is this your first job?
In your training example, it is often a different team who do the booking / paying / organising, but it would fall to you to chase if that's not been done.

I also would counsel you to talk to your line manager, not the managers manager.

But if you are really unhappy, then start looking for another job. You spend too long at it to be miserable. It's also easier to get a job when you are already in one. Good luck.

Original poster

breadloaf · 18/12/2022 21:52

JetBlackSteed · 18/12/2022 21:42

Is this your first job?
In your training example, it is often a different team who do the booking / paying / organising, but it would fall to you to chase if that's not been done.

I also would counsel you to talk to your line manager, not the managers manager.

But if you are really unhappy, then start looking for another job. You spend too long at it to be miserable. It's also easier to get a job when you are already in one. Good luck.

No it’s not another team, it was another manager in my department. I was also away on annual leave and working in a different country about 2 weeks after I asked. I asked my manager when I got back and he said he didn’t know.

My line manager was also in the meeting when I said these things and said nothing.

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Original poster

breadloaf · 18/12/2022 21:54

Goodywhoshoes · 18/12/2022 21:33

I do think in your shoes I would have chased up the training. I would also have tried to call again re handover tbh.
They have other bits of their job to do so your needs won’t be in the forefront of their mind. In an idea world you wouldn’t have to chase but, if you know things need doing, it’s worth being pro active rather than things not happening or not getting done.

I also have other work to do than constantly chase things up.

My manager is a grown adult. If you can’t acknowledge a call or email then this is why I fail to see why it’s my responsibility to chase up. I have other work and meetings to attend then just trying to get his attention.

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picklemewalnuts · 18/12/2022 21:59

It's always your job, though. It's always up to you to chase opportunities to complete your work effectively, whether that's arranging the handover, or tracking down your training. You need to be able to demonstrate that you've done all you could.

For example, my boss needed to do something by last month. He may need my assistance with it- he gives me something and I hand it out. I've reminded him several times, offered help to make the thing for him to polish, warmed him when my annual leave starts.
Before going on annual leave, I escalated it to another department so that it was clear I had done all I could, and also alerted that other department that they may need to step in.

You need to be persistent. You don't get to walk away leaving it unfinished, because other people are making it harder.

Original poster

breadloaf · 18/12/2022 22:10

picklemewalnuts · 18/12/2022 21:59

It's always your job, though. It's always up to you to chase opportunities to complete your work effectively, whether that's arranging the handover, or tracking down your training. You need to be able to demonstrate that you've done all you could.

For example, my boss needed to do something by last month. He may need my assistance with it- he gives me something and I hand it out. I've reminded him several times, offered help to make the thing for him to polish, warmed him when my annual leave starts.
Before going on annual leave, I escalated it to another department so that it was clear I had done all I could, and also alerted that other department that they may need to step in.

You need to be persistent. You don't get to walk away leaving it unfinished, because other people are making it harder.

I haven’t left anything unfinished.

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picklemewalnuts · 18/12/2022 22:14

Your handover hasn't happened, and your training hasn't happened. I'd call that 'unfinished'.

I wasn't blaming you for leaving a job unfinished, I was suggesting that sometimes we do need to chase other people in order to fully discharge our own responsibilities.

mondaytosunday · 18/12/2022 22:28

YOU need to chase it as it's your job in question. You need to be more proactive. But I also think if it's not a good fit after ten months, start looking elsewhere.

Original poster

breadloaf · 18/12/2022 22:51

mondaytosunday · 18/12/2022 22:28

YOU need to chase it as it's your job in question. You need to be more proactive. But I also think if it's not a good fit after ten months, start looking elsewhere.

What if they’ve given you zero training and everything you’ve done in 10 months has been because you’ve given it your all? But you’re fucking exhausted of fighting for every single thing - especially when they take on a new starter a month ago and provide them with full training and call you the test run?

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ShadowoftheFall · 18/12/2022 22:52

picklemewalnuts · 18/12/2022 22:14

Your handover hasn't happened, and your training hasn't happened. I'd call that 'unfinished'.

I wasn't blaming you for leaving a job unfinished, I was suggesting that sometimes we do need to chase other people in order to fully discharge our own responsibilities.

You sound quite passive. Be “on it” to make things happen.

ShadowoftheFall · 18/12/2022 22:53

ShadowoftheFall · 18/12/2022 22:52

You sound quite passive. Be “on it” to make things happen.

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Sorry I meant that last comment to the OP. I agree with @picklemewalnuts comments.

HundredMilesAnHour · 18/12/2022 22:59

breadloaf · 18/12/2022 22:51

What if they’ve given you zero training and everything you’ve done in 10 months has been because you’ve given it your all? But you’re fucking exhausted of fighting for every single thing - especially when they take on a new starter a month ago and provide them with full training and call you the test run?

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But you've admitted that you didn't give it your all. You left things unfinished because you didn't proactively chase things down. Yeah it's annoying having to chase but it's part of the job as YOU will be held accountable if these things don't happen. Instead you seem to have developed an attitude that you're not doing it because you have other work to do. And the only person your attitude hurts is you.

Original poster

breadloaf · 18/12/2022 23:37

HundredMilesAnHour · 18/12/2022 22:59

But you've admitted that you didn't give it your all. You left things unfinished because you didn't proactively chase things down. Yeah it's annoying having to chase but it's part of the job as YOU will be held accountable if these things don't happen. Instead you seem to have developed an attitude that you're not doing it because you have other work to do. And the only person your attitude hurts is you.

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Where did I say I didn’t give it my all? I did for the first 8 months. Impressed the head of my department, then all my energy got drained away because I can’t keep fighting every singed day for a poorly paid job.

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Original poster

breadloaf · 18/12/2022 23:40

ShadowoftheFall · 18/12/2022 22:52

You sound quite passive. Be “on it” to make things happen.

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Maybe you’d be passive aggressive to if you wished you’d get in a car crash rather than go to work every day. But you have no partner so your income is all you have to run the house. That you’re so depressed the police have done two wellness checks on you in the last month. That you have to write down reasons to live every day.

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picklemewalnuts · 19/12/2022 07:29

I've been there, breadloaf, thinking a broken leg would be good because it would get me a decent rest, a good excuse not to go to work.

To be honest, it sounds as though there is a lot more going on than work.

All I can say is be kind to yourself- do whatever you need to do to change the situation. Find a different job, get signed off, get the training. Whatever. But you need to make some changes- you can't just struggle on.

Is there HR at work? Occupational health? Counselling?

I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

Greenfairydust · 19/12/2022 08:06

I can't believe the negative comments you are getting...

They hired someone who had no previous experience with the understanding that a proper induction and training would be provided.

They did not provide that training, gave a poor induction and the OP's managers are being useless at doing their job.

Communicating effectively with their team is what any half-decent manager does...

And people are blaming the OP? it always amaze me how some people will just automatically support the employer, no matter what.

OP, this just sounds like a badly run organisation with poor systems in places and people who can't be bothered.

You lasted almost a year and it seems to be affecting your health.

At this stage I would cut my losses and start looking for a new role.