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Upset that it feels like I’m becoming alienated from my friends

3 replies

Speedmacarons · 18/12/2022 21:18

Since becoming significantly wealthier than our original backgrounds - through my own efforts with my career - I’m finding it harder work with my lifelong group of best friends. I can’t see them as much as they see each other as I’ve moved and work /family commitments are very full on. But it’s less to do with that I think and more due to becoming further apart in terms of lifestyle and therefore having less in common.

it is really upsetting me, I think they are talking about me behind my back and think I’m a bit of a twat tbh. I’m very careful to try not to be braggy or insensitive but there is always something that seems to raise an eyebrow when talking about what we’ve been up to/kids/work. I don’t want to be that person that drifts away as they are very important to me and I think the world of them.

Any suggestions appreciated

OP posts:
user1471453601 · 18/12/2022 21:29

I really think you are so very wrong. My oldest friend is a millionaire. I'm not. So what?we've known each other when we each were single parents and struggling. We may be older than that and considerably richer, but it hasn't changed our relationship. We've been friends for over 40 years, so I can't see money changing that.

our friendship isn't monetarily based. I guess it's based on past shared experiences. Some good, some bad, some so v v sad. In each case we've both been their for each other. That's what's counted for us

MissHavershamReturns · 18/12/2022 21:35

Op I’m afraid this is a thing. A close family member found lots of his old friends didn’t want to know after he did the first uni degree of anyone they all knew. It can be really tricky to keep up old friendships but definitely keep trying if these people are important to you.

Speedmacarons · 18/12/2022 21:35

I suppose it feels like I can’t credibly join in a lot of the conversations anymore. Many of our activities and values are polar opposites nowadays- eg working parent vs very PT/no work, lots of childcare vs DIY, type of school, type of holiday.

When we are doing something together or at a ‘thing’, or having a laugh about old times it’s great and feels very natural as it always did. When it’s general catching up chat it feels a bit strained :(

OP posts:
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