Please help me help my child to sleep through

[Earlyinthenight]

He is 2.5. Never been a good sleeper. Thought we’d cracked it about a year ago but over the past 8 months or so he’s got progressively worse. Has not slept through once in about 2 months and ends up in our bed every single night. I am exhausted.

he always always wakes after about 4 or 5 hours sleep (on a good night, bad nights he can be unsettled 2 or 3 times before his first official wake up) and shouts for me until I go through. The side is off his cot but he never gets out himself. He will settle again if I get in with him but will always notice me leaving and inevitably ends up in with us, where he will only sleep with full body touching me, covers kicked off, and fussing all night. He kicks my husband in the back all night and I just don’t get any sleep at all because he needs to have full contact with me and will panic and pull at me if he wakes up thinking I’m not there.

he has a great night time routine. Bath, books, bed and will always go down fine with us lying beside him on the floor while he falls asleep.

he’s a delight during the day, truly a wonderful child but night time is getting us down and I’m honestly at my wits end, I work part time currently but going up to full time in near future and I don’t cope well on no/disturbed sleep.

please can you tell me what worked for you if you were in a similar situation? What can I try? Thanks in advance.

Mine is nearly 3 and doesn't sleep through. She had a full sized single (just have got bigger!) And I get into bed with her. We all get more sleep with a bit more space.
My brother apparently didn't sleep through til he was 5 😫

I have no advice but going to watch, as this post could have been written by me. My DS is 21 months, never been a good sleeper at all either so I hear you ❤️😴

Grow clock! My children loved this and we had a rule you can’t get out of bed until the sun is up. Que a toddler screaming excitedly the sun is up the sun is up!

You can add in a sticker chart to begin with so if they stay in bed until the sun they get a sticker or chocolate. We go in and resettle if they wake in the night then saying the sun isn’t up yet it’s still time to go back to sleep but not engage any more than that.

Thank you, I had actually been researching gro clocks this morning! Also need to consider a bigger bed too

Deffo grow clock.

Do you lie on the floor with him every night while he goes to sleep?

If so, I think you need to get this sorted before you tackle the night wakings. He's used to you being there when he goes to sleep so wants you there in the night.

Is he still napping? If yes, stop the naps.

Our boy used to come to our bed in the middle of the night too, until I was too pregnant. Then DH started carrying him back to his own bed and lied down with him until he fell asleep again.
After about a week DS stopped waking up in the middle of the night. Age around 3-ish at the time.
He has a gro clock too, he is allowed to get up and play in his room from 6am, and come wake us up at 7am.

No naps, he dropped them quite young. we used to always take him back to his own bed if he came into ours for comfort but night after night of him waking has seen us less less likely to take him as we are just trying to get every minute of sleep we can.

yes I stay with him till he falls asleep, he goes in bed and I lie on the floor and hold his hand till he drifts off. Not sure how to fix that to be honest.

We still stay with him until he falls asleep at bedtime - these days it doesn’t take too long - a story and then 10-15min. I’d keep doing that as it’s a nice wind down - just take turns with husband.

You are right, getting him back to his own bed in the middle of the night was hellish on my husband but we didn’t have a choice. It was worth it though.

Another option - a little floor bed in your room, if he’d go for it? With a big cuddly toy for contact?

Thank you. I’m not sure he would go for a bed on floor as he wants to be touching me, forehead to forehead type thing. It’s very sweet but frustrating! Yeah we’ve always stayed with him until he falls asleep since day, maybe made a rod for our own backs etc but just felt natural.
Just bought the gro clock. Let’s see if that makes a difference!

Comfort is never bad for our young, don’t regret it 😊
Word of advice re the gro clock - when we first introduced it around 2.5yo it was just a toy at first, then he kept getting up to touch it etc I really regretted buying it. I put it away for a few months and reintroduced it after he started taking an interest in clocks and time, closer to 3yo.

So if it doesn’t work at first, try again when he is a little older.

It’s really hard, but soon enough he’ll be so grown he won’t want to cuddle all the time - mine’s already like this.

I think you are doing all you can .I would work on him getting back to sleep on his own .and that starts with him going to sleep on his own at bed time .you start off very gently moving further away from him ( over a few days ) and sticking to the pattern even if he cries .you are there to verbally reassure him .ultimately your aim is to be sitting ( eventually ! Outside his door .still verbally reassuring him that you are there when he needs you .then cut down in the reassurance ,
It's hard and he will cry for the first few nights ,but over time he will learn to get to sleep without you there .and that will lead to self settling when he wakes during the night .
One thing though if you start it ,you must stick to it and not give in any time .or that sends the message to him that if he protests long enough you will cave .and it will set you back .
Good luck ,I feel your exhaustion .