Year Compass - does anyone else do it?

[Peae]

www.yearcompass.com

I normally find it pretty useful, but this year I’m really struggling with it.

Looking back at this last year I just see failure and rejection. I tried and tried. Picked myself up SO many times. Mostly career (ha!) -wise. Lack of work and money, scary gig economy experiences, my world has just got smaller and smaller. My friendships have dwindled as people are busy and struggling.

Looking ahead at next year (finally secured a new 12-month job for Jan) and my aspirations are so low. I just want to feel safe and to enjoy some financial security :(

I miss being slim and healthy. I miss being younger and having so much opportunity ahead. I used to excel and progress. The world feels in a tough place too right now, and I feel my generation won’t have it so good again.

What has your experience been this year? How do you feel about next year?

Any advice for reframing my feelings?

Just me?

Yeah I do it, but haven't started this year's review yet.

I'm a big fan of a daily gratitude challenge - I find it really helps to be aware of things to be grateful for. It shifts my thinking. But I also think it is totally fair enough to decide that 2022 was a sh*t year - in which case celebrate it being over! I love being able to put a crap year behind me. It's one of the best things about new year in my opinion - drawing a line under the past one.

Congratulations on the new job!

I don't think there is anything wrong with having aspirations of feeling safe and having financial security - I don't think they are low aspirations! Don't be so hard on yourself. Maybe it's time to recalibrate your expectations and think more about what you want (in terms of e.g. feeling safe) rather than 'external' achievements?

Thank you

Completed part one, had a good cry, and it is cathartic to leave it behind!

(Do you really believe that low aspirations are ok?).

Yes I think low aspirations are fine but I honestly don’t think yours are low!!!

What aspirations do you think you "should" have? I don't often find should is a very helpful word TBH. Asking if having low aspirations is okay implies you think a) your aspirations are low and b) they aren't okay. And therefore that you "should" have different ones.

I don't really have aspirations that aren't being happy and financially secure and I've never considered myself to have low aspirations at all. Being happy requires a variety of subsidiary things like having some friends and spending my week doing something reasonably stimulating. I have friends with grand aspirations and I'm not sure they make them happier.

Hello op
I haven't seen this before but love the look of it
I have on and off been having a shit tile since Jan 2018
Been trying to count my blessings in among that but it's been a big trial of strength
I am tired and heavy from overeating from
Worry

What aspirations do you think you "should" have? I don't often find should is a very helpful word TBH. Asking if having low aspirations is okay implies you think a) your aspirations are low and b) they aren't okay. And therefore that you "should" have different ones.

This made me realise how full my life is of Shoulds .
Do cardio 3 times a week, lift weights twice, walk 12000 steps a day, give up sugar, eat at least 30 different plant-based foods a week, journal, meditate, practice gratitude, acts of kindness, volunteer and improve the lives of others, give up sugar, stop drinking Diet Coke, read a wide range of books, stay up on the news, learn a language, be creative, drink plenty of water, keep in touch with family, reach out to friends who are struggling, be a human being and not a human doing, practise a skincare routine (morning and night)...

Hmm. No wonder I feel like a failure.

@inglese it's tough isn't it?

@Peae I fall into this trap too- ‘doing’ not ‘being’.

I completed a course of study over the last year that I had aimed to do for years - well I did well and I did enjoy aspects of it but it did not make me happy it made me stressed.
I realised that I am aiming to do things to prove something not because I really value them.
I’ve been trying to think of the times when I’m truly happy and feel like life is a gift.
All I’ve come up with so far is walking with a friend, drinking coffee and chatting and looking at birds.
maybe this is a low aspiration but if I can fit in lots of walking and talking this year I think I will enjoy my year more than doing ‘aspirational’ stuff like study or self improvement.

Hello OP
I have t managed to look through it. Am taking things very gently
I know I get SAD in Jan so may not try too much. But also shocked by how fat I looked in Xmas pics

I do it, and I’ve had a shit year as well, but I really don’t think feeling safe, secure and financially stable is a crap aspiration at all.

I listened to this the other day and I think maybe you’d like it too podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris/id1087147821?i=1000588737215

she talks about how most human aspirations can, on a basic level, be distilled down to “I want love, I want safety, I want belonging” and that’s ok. She also talks about how pursuing career success or perfection can become an addiction which tries to fulfill these basic needs but falls short. It’s a good listen and might give you the reframe you’re after.

Here’s to a 2023 where we grant ourselves a bit of grace and ease.

@Doesitmatteranyway i love your aspirations (add in a pair of half decent binoculars for the birds if you really want to wake yourself up to delight. Laughing at myself here but also not joking 🤣).

I’m aiming to welcome my feelings and experiences without trying to run away, and to go outside and be still for 10 minutes every day. I’ve got work stuff and mum stuff and bucket listy stuff that would be nice as well but if I’m an anxious fucking mess while I do them then I’m not going to enjoy them so the ‘small’ sanity stuff (it’s not small) comes first.

OP how old are you? I’ve found as I get into my mid 30s I’m able to give less fucks about “should” and value contentment and little* things more.

*tend to think what we call little things actually just means things that are hard for someone else to monetise or profit off, or to quantify or automate, so they get devalued lest we realise they matter and start spending less and comparing ourselves less and become a lot less exploitable.