DH not engaged with any Christmas planning tasks

[IncessantNameChanger]

So normally we plan a Christmas shopping trip to get presents and also go out food shopping.

I have asked a few times but he says we are busy on x weekend ( four kids so activities planned). But there has been no suggestion on when we could do the shopping. I told him this week I'm overwhelmed with the stuff to do, I have brought a few Christmas presents in dribs and drabs and the same with the food. I asked him during the week. He said we could do some this weekend.

But still not offering up a plan for this. I feel mentally burnt out doing all of the life admin always and then nagging and chasing. We have food for Christmas Dinner. I bought him a £15 gin gift set yesterday.

I just feel like I'm done now. I don't want to keep chasing him. I'm not buying drinks or snacks now. I'm not taking the kids around the shops on my own next week looking his present. I have arranged all four kids presents and all the food and paid for it all. I think at this stage if he thinks I can drum up everything he can fuck himself.

He is totally happy to let me do the life, child and house admin. He is selfish and dispite telling him repeatedly for years he is getting more and more self centred he keeps getting worse. So fed up this weekend

I think it's perfectly reasonable to be DONE with prepping. and I know it's not fair you have to do the thinking because he's not been engaged, but write him a list of what you have/what's left to do and tell him it's up to him.

DH has never voluntarily got involved with Christmas planning. IME most men don't. I don't have a problem with it as we only have a small family, and Christmas doesn't require much planning anyway.

He always offers to help with hoovering, shopping, veg prep or anything generally required.

I tell a lie. DH plans the wine we are going to drink

My DH doesn’t plan Xmas either and shows very little interest. He does however cook all of the meals. I hate cooking much more than Xmas planning. Can you compromise on sharing out chores?

He will cook the Christmas Dinner, he alway does. It's more that I told I'm struggling to get everything organised to cook and he didn't offer a plan to help.

So that's multiple trips to the shops for his one cooking session. Doesn't seem like a fair balance

Do you do online food shopping? If you don’t that may be worth considering rather than going shopping with your DC.
Or next year do one big evening food shop. At the end of the day it’s a regular roast dinner with some pigs in blankets and a jar of cranberry sauce.